Let me tell you a hemorrhoid story

Hi kids.

I'm currently 24 days out from a single grade 2 hemorrhoid banding, and since I am sitting on a heating pad with Extra Strength Tylenol coursing through my veins for what seems like the millionth day in a row, I thought I'd take the time out to tell my story on how something that seems not too difficult a problem to take care of has turned into one of the hardest things I've ever gone through.

First things first. When I was a little girl, a long time ago, I developed an anal fissure which hurt a lot. In response to that, I started holding my BMs resulting in an impaction I had to go to the hospital to have taken care of. I remember being very frightened, embarrassed by the procedure, scared of being left by my family at night and humiliated when nurses laughed at me when I finally passed a huge stool.

So I've always had a little love affair with crappy anal problems. I guess it's just one of my "things".

Anything that happens to me these days when I have to go see my colo-rectal surgeon brings back bad childhood memories.

Anyway, 3 years ago I suffered from 3 enlarged internal hemorrhoids and a ring of "impressive" external hemmies. By the time I finally broke down and went to see my doctor (I had never been to see her before this), the external hemms had resolved. But I had to get the internals banded in 3 sessions set 2-3 weeks apart. It wasn't a fun process by any means, but it did the trick. I learned that the process is not even almost "painless" or "quick". But I was in so much discomfort I was happy to have a way to fix it.

I felt better but I always lived with the "what if it happens again" fear in the back of my head. Most days I thought--that was weird--It'll never happen again.

You know what I am going to say next now, don't you?

Back in August, my brother-in-law passed away. It was a very stressful time for me and my sisters. I'm a type A personality, and I tried to shoulder a lot of responsibility for getting things taken care of then. Meanwhile, I ignore my grief. Cue the non-stop upset stomach and diarrhea that took place for weeks. Cue the unfortunate familiar unrest in my butt that felt like someone lit a match in there or like I was carrying a bowling ball down there or like someone kicked me in my butt hard.

I knew my hemorrhoids were flaring. I called my doctor right away--next available appointment was 5 weeks away. So every night until the appointment I was in pain.

Internal hemorrhoids can absolutely hurt. Mine did. Every night. I ended up in the ER one time because my bottom was throbbing. When the doctor did a digital rectal exam, I nearly passed out. It was worth it though, because she prescribed pain killers for me.

So finally I get to my appointment with my surgeon. Everyone who knows what is going on with me is happy the day has finally arrived. I've been in agony for weeks.

My doctor looks up my posterior, informs me I have one grade 2 internal hemorrhoid that is the cause of all this grief and did I want it banded? YES, I said, YES I DO. I heard her tell her assistant that there wasn't much tissue to grab on to, but 2 seconds later I am up and getting dressed and thanking her for helping me.

The next couple of days I deal with the pain of a fresh banding...the constant urge to go to the bathroom when there isn't really anything there. Bonus--I catch my daughter's cold and proceed to hack at night like a crazy person. If you don't already know, every time you cough or sneeze, you feel it in your butt. It was basic agony. But still, I thought, I am going to be okay soon.

2 weeks after the banding I went back to have the physician assistant look again because I am having so much pain, especially at night. The pain causes me anxiety which causes diarrhea. I am so stressed I can't get on top of this. The PA looks inside and says the hemmie and band are gone, but that she can see it was banded in a place close to the pain sensors in my anal canal and no wonder it hurts so much. She also tells me my rectum is red and inflamed from the diarrhea. She tells me my recovery is going to take at least 2-3 more weeks and to go home and relax with a glass of red wine. I am so relieved, I hug her. I should have asked for pain relief, but I didn't.

Went home that night, trying to relax, and our dog (fur baby) proceeds to have a massive seizure. Her first one. We rush her to the vet and they're like, maybe it'll be only one. I have diarrhea from all the stress at the vet office. We go home, dog has another massive seizure in the middle of the night.

Husband and I are stressed to our maximums. Dog gets seizure medicine the next day and is better.

I am still completely stressed out. My butt still hurts 24 days after my banding. I have anxiety from knowing I am going to be in pain every day. I am sad because I don't think I am ever going to feel normal again.My doctor assures me I will be fine in a few weeks. Til then, take Advil and Tylenol. Advil doesn't touch the pain, Tylenol is better. I am trying my best to take it easy and get better. I have never had to recover from any procedure really before. I am not good at it, apparently.

If you've read this, thank you. This board has been somewhat of a lifesaver for me these past few months. Everyone's experiences have been helpful to me.

I am here to say

Internal hemorrhoids CAN hurt.

Rubber band ligation CAN be painful.

Some people don't bounce back after one or 2 days. or even 2 weeks.

Banding a hemorrhoid near the pain sensors might not hurt right at banding but will flare up hours later when it's too late to adjust the band.

I am hoping like crazy I feel better soon. This whole enchilada has made me somewhat depressed.

Hugs to you all, fellow hemorrhoids sufferers.

We are a brave bunch, that's for darn sure.

Just one stupid little hemorrhoid.

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