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was just sitting here talking to a new friend I met on the forum and it made me think about what's going on in my life and why I may have brought on my anxiety well I'll start here I have a boyfriend that I've been with for over 10+ years and either of us have children we both want a child but we have some issues in our relationship that are not so great last year we went through a serious situation now for years he has cheated and lied and a lot of other things throughout those tens years well one day I retaliated and spun some money he told me to hold for him now it wasn't all of his.money he had it was a portion the portion he told me to hold then after I did that I felt bad because he wasad and hurt and called me all kinds of names like a thief and so many more I apologize over ( no exaggerating) 100+ times and tried to make it up to him but he continuously threw it in my face , every argument so we lived together at the time of me telling him about the money (which was May 2015) after arguing for this same thing from May -November I was at work one day I remember the exact day Friday November 13th 2015 I was sitting at my desk and all of a sudden I felt this rush of adrenaline come over me out of nowhere I started shaking and my heart started racing and I felt like I was going to faint I left work went to the ER THEY did blood work cat scan and chest xray and EKG said I was fine said it sounds like a panic attack well I thought that was just a one time thing but it kept happening and he kept arguing with me and I felt so sick for months panic attacks daily arguing daily about the money I was loosing weight drastically before the anxiety took over my life I would cook him dinner everyday when i get off work I was doing all the duties of a wife and I was only a girlfriend and when I got sick I couldn't cook as much and do all those things I use to do so that was even more stress added he started to cheat on me again whenever he felt like it he just kept kicking me while I was down this went on up until about late January early February of this year I got fed up so I left and moved back home with my dad I needed a break I was out of work for a couple months because my panic and anxiety had gotten so bad I was running back and fourth to the ER and all types of doctors getting test done to rule out anything serious I slipped into depression from all the crazy scary anxiety sensations and symptoms . I finally was able after a few months to get my anxiety controllable a little just enough to go back to work , so i went back to work in April me and my best friend worked together side by side shes more like my little sister we did everything together she was there by my side for everything every birthday going to the mall and out to eat and happy hour and my shoulder to cry on SHE WAS THERE FOR EVERYTHING she helped me get througH each day at work when I felt like I wanted to give up and just stay at home and be depressed anyways she got me through each day until all of a sudden she died on August 1 2017 and WE STILL don't know why still waiting on the report . So of course just when I started getting a hold on my anxiety and panic that happen so every since then my amxoett has again sent through the roof There is so much more to this story but I kind of gave the overall big picture leaving out a little detail sorry to wrote this long book guys feel free to share your story no matter how long it is
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