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Letting go of my alcoholic son what it means to me.

Posted , 6 users are following.

hope4cure
hope4cure

Subject: A poem  for understanding letting Go...

Letting Go - Author Unknown

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, 

it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off,

it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable,

but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, 

which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another,

it’s to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, 

but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective,

it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires

but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, 

but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and love more..."author unknown"

HOPE4CURE 

2 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • Jackie_1964
    Jackie_1964 hope4cure

    Posted

    Those  words are so true it must be really hard  for you to let  your son go i am a alcoholic  myself but hopefully  I will be getting  the support I need  very soon I have 2 sons  if you want to talk theirs plenty  of people ont this forum that wll try to  support you good luck
    • hope4cure
      hope4cure Jackie_1964

      Posted

      Thank u for UR understanding. I am sorry u have to cope with the addiction of alcohol.

      good luck on finding sobriety. I truly know it is a mind altering drug which controls every thought. 

      There r many meds to help with the craving go alcohol but u have to want to quit more than anything.

      my son has come very close to death on life support. I will pray that u will remember that only u can find the resources available to stop . The fear of no drink can change UR intentions in a split second. Just remember it the mind of an alcoholic sabatoging all UR efforts to stop.

      Many blessings sent UR way..let me know how UR doing. I'm always here.

       

    • Jackie_1964
      Jackie_1964 hope4cure

      Posted

      Thankyou for your kind words I have spoken recently on this forum I had a home detox but unfortunately  I started drinking again I had a lot of support  of this forum and advice one was because of my curen't home situation having over drinkers around me I should go to rehab which from private measages to Paul Turner 1964  a member on here and a alchol councillor  that does home detox quote me if I an wrong Paul lol he found me some information  about the place I have been offered to go to I have decided that's this is right place for me to beat this adiction I will remember your words about your son along my journey  there is a wait of 3 to 4 months to go into this place I wish you well to and thankyou
  • vickylou
    vickylou hope4cure

    Posted

    Having read all of your discussions regarding your son, am guessing that until someone is really ready and focused on giving up alcohol for ever, all you're help and support has become fruitless.. It must be heartbreaking to watch you're own son slowly dying in front of you, with the knowledge you've exhausted every avenue to help him. It goes to show what power alcohol can have over us all if we let it. In the end, even with all the help and support and love and belief that you're son will change, you've realised you've done all and more that you could and it is now up to him.

    i can't begin to understand what you're going through now and have gone through over the years. You will continue to love you're son deeply and care and worry about him, but decided to let go. Please continue to post on this forum and let us know how you are. I sincerely hope you're son will realise what a rock you've been, and face up and deal with his problems. Take care.

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure vickylou

      Posted

      First of alll thank you for taking the time to read all my discussions about my beautiful loving son. Alcohol may have changed him , but for me I prefer to remember him as he really was before the mind altering drugs effects of alcohol.

      How alcohol started in my life thru a horrible auto accident killing my husband at 29 yrs old and leaving myself in a coma. 

      Fast foreword I know the power that alcohol has over the thoughts & lives caught in the addiction. My son has suffered such indignity and pain over many years. Treated like a dog by everyone. They see the alcohol not the disease, mental illness or the PTSD.

      I hope more will read my story and take the time to stop and think how powerful alcohol addiction is. I always have the hope that my story shared thru my experiences will help someone see how destructive alcohol is on family , friends and his children who never knew him. A real shame because he could have been a great father.

      I am always here checking on all of u. Sometimes I think there may be something I say that just clicks with someone or helps in some way . In general I want  u all to know I do care, I do understand & some are more vulnerable to this disease, than others, but u r all loved very dearly by those near & dear to you! Never give up always stay strong it takes the heart of a lion to survive the pain u have allendured.

      as long as there is breath, there is hope. LIFE IS A GIFT ! 

       Slowly there is a change in treatment, most rehabs r finally coming around, &  to society realizing that this is a real disease which kills more people in the world than any other.

      There is a science to this disease and also there is a science to relapsing. 

       It is always so reassuring to have all the support here and sadly knowing that many other parents have gone thru this as we share our stories. We sooth each other souls and reach out to help anyone who will listen.

      Loving blessings sent UR way. Let it go.....

      HOPE4CURE confused

    • candis33631
      candis33631 hope4cure

      Posted

      thank you so much for sharing  hopeforcure.  it really helpedme when i read your story.  i can't even imagine how i would handle all the pain and hurt.  i really really respect you and wish u happy times forever.

       

  • vickylou
    vickylou hope4cure

    Posted

    Very wise words "to let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future". Your discussions are so valuable to a lot of us. People don't realise the power alcohol has not just on the addict, it greatly affects whole families in lots of different ways. Someone on this forum spoke about not being able to have their grandchildren stay with them due to their partner's alcohol problem. There must come a point though, where someone has supported their partner through everything, but then realise there is nothing more they can actually do, and for once focus on themselves.
  • mary15862
    mary15862 hope4cure

    Posted

    I am going through this now. I've tried everything, but the grip that the alcohol has on my son is fierce. I am trying so hard to accept what is...toughest thing I've ever been through.
  • ann03972
    ann03972 hope4cure

    Posted

    Hi, I understand where your.coming from. My brother is now in a nursing home

    since he was forty one he lost his wife three children all due to his alcohol abuse.

    he had five massive strokes he is now bed ridden unable to hardly speak has no

    control over his bowels or bladder has to have everything done for him.

    it is so sad to visit him and see him now, he will be fifty two tomorrow and he just

    wishes he was dead. If only we could turn the clock back. Alcohol just destroys 

    lives of everyone close. I am the only one he sees now that's his life, if only people

    could realise just how harmful it can be. They always think it won't happen to them.

  • escargot420
    escargot420 hope4cure

    Posted

    Gasp, 

    Thank you for sharing H4C, I needed this.

    Outside my Selingro treatment, I'm working the 12 steps, and I need to get ready to start repairing the harmfull actions of the past.

    If I look at your topics and this poem, maybe all the fear I'm feeling is not justified.

    Maybe I'm just to negative thinking about my friends and family.

    One more time, thank you.

    May God (as you see him/her)bless you and give you relieve from all your pain.

    Good night,

    Escar

     

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