Life is meaningless, not just mine
Posted , 5 users are following.
I don't want to be here, no therapist can tell me otherwise, but what really is the point in life? I won't do myself in, too cowardly, but I pray for an illness to stop this torment. I feel empty and worthless as an individual, but we are all insignificant mortals on this tiny tiny planet. My rubbish life is no different to most, I work, do chores, run round after everyone, budget, think about money, go shopping, basically doing all the mundane stuff you have to do to survive and this takes up 95% of my waking life. I get small windows of relief in my tiresome life and I really don't see the point. Life is just about survival, but why would you bother. I would love to fall asleep tonight and never wake up I really would.
0 likes, 8 replies
jan34534 ricci74384
Edited
Having a sense of purpose in life is what makes it meaningful. We all must do Mundane things for survival but life has much more meaning than that.have you ever been passionate about something? It could be people, animals, children, art, music, etc.
when I help other people, it takes the focus off of myself while at the same time I’m doing some thing that really positively impacts somebody else’s life.
When you do that, it brings joy. And that’s a good place to start.there are other ways to have a purpose in life. That’s just one example. Have you ever been passionate about something? It could be people, animals, children, art, music, etc.
find ways to get involved in things. You don’t have to spend a lot of time doing it but it’s something to look forward to. It breaks the monotony of every day life. The Mundane things .there’s plenty of options out there.
sounds like you may have some depression going on. Anyone would feel insignificant with a dark cloud hanging over them all the time. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know you don’t want to talk to a therapist but it’s a great place to start. Things can get better. Take care
ricci74384 jan34534
Posted
Thank you Jan. I know you mean well, but I really don't see any point. After I've done everything that I need to do to keep my pathetic little life going I just don't have the energy to show any passion any more. One uninspiring day just morphs into another and it's been like this for years and I just don't want a part of this rat race any longer. I was happy once in my life but I blew it and boy am I paying for it now. Were it not for the embarrassment it would cause my kids I would try to find the guts to do something about it, like I did as an 11 year old (but failed, although I did need a month in hospital to recover). Like another message said on here, I would be missed and grieved for a small time, although not by very many, but people would soon forget me and move on, my partner would very quickly move on and I'm sure they would give my kids a much better life than I can. Its 3.20 in the morning now, and I've made it through yet another night unfortunately, another day of no happiness coming right up. I know I should be stronger for my kids, who I love dearly and would do anything for, but that is all my life offers me, I literally exist just for them, if i thought they would have a great life it would give reason for my waste of breathing, but i just know they will end up on this futile race we call life. I just pray theirs is better than mine, but I don't want to be here to see if it is. I go to church every week but have many questions, if there is a God I cannot see the plan He has for me, surely a place in Heaven is the least I deserve.
jan34534 ricci74384
Edited
I am sorry to hear that. Yes, your children would move on because they have no choice. But that doesn’t mean that they would not be completely devastated. They would carry that with them the rest of their lives wondering if they did something wrong to cause this. There would be a permanent hole in their heart and I don’t know about you but I could never do that to my children. I would find everything in my power to get some help. I had a friend who ended her life by being bulemic for a long time and. she would never go to counseling when people urge her to and thought she had everything under control. One day she just died in her sleep. she had three children in high school. they were completely devastated. that was 20 years ago and even today they say they think about her every day and one of them is actually mad at her for not taking care of herself and not being able to be with the family and meet her grandchildren. . These type of things have a profound impact on children that last a lifetime.
ricci74384 jan34534
Posted
You are right I could never hurt my children Jan, not sure where that leaves me though, because as much as I love them I hate my life too and cannot see it ever getting better.
doubting ricci74384
Posted
jan,
I get what you're saying, I really do.
I posted something somewhere in here about my seriously wondering "what is wrong with me?" Gotta be me right?
In all my life I've never been able to find any level of interest in anything. And "passion" is something that I don't get.
Happiness, excitement, these words are not part of my vocabulary. I don't have the capacity for such feelings, and why? I don't KNOW why.
And so, because life really does seem pointless, every little disaster, I believe, pushes me closer to the edge.
Life eh?
bernipes ricci74384
Posted
I used to search for the meaning of things and got frustrated when I realized that life is, in fact, survival. However, I later discovered that this survival only has the meaning that I give it.
There is no answer in mathematics, philosophy, or any science. The meaning is up to you.
Don't give up therapy, keep in touch with your psychologist and keep searching for things that inspire you, that bring meaning to your existence.
For many, the meaning of life is precisely the search for meaning.
I send you a virtual hug.
ricci74384 bernipes
Posted
Thank you bernipes. You wrote some thought provoking words, but I view survival as just that, survival, not living just surviving. You look at animals in the wild surviving, what's the point for them, there seems little joy for them, I don't think we're much different. Personally I just see myself as an insignificant man on an insignificant planet toiling away, for what? It all just seems pointless.
doubting ricci74384
Posted
Sorry bernipes but ricci's post totally sums up how I feel about things. with regards to what ricci said about animals and survival, who know's if or how they feel/think about [anything]. My take on it is that because we are cursed with a higher level of intelligence, we think, too much and too deeply perhaps, and ask too many questions. About things like why we are here and wanting there to be a point to it all, a reason for being. Maybe we all [should] just "get on with it" and maybe tomorrow [will] be a better day. The more I think about it though the more I keep asking myself the same question. WHY?