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Life is not fair to me

Posted , 5 users are following.

nigeria
nigeria

Back in 2012 /2013 when i was in year one i was suspended from university for dancing with my friends.im the only one suspended for a year due to  unknown reason to me.since from there my life start falling apart.i didnt tell my parent because i was hoping to do my 1 year suspension without worrying them.to b honest i was so so devastated,depressed and lonely at tht time.as a result of that incident i was diagnosed with a chrinic disease called fibromyalgia.even with this disease (which I’m still struggling with it till now).ive thought about Suicide more than 5 times which I almost did but for some reasons it failed. Every morning i get up I wish I wasn’t up,i wish i wasnt in this world.I looses lots of weight due to stress.i was diagnosed is chronic ulcer ,high blood pressure and fibromyalgia all in that year.i have no one to talk to or to spend time with.and whenever I think about how unfair the school board are to me it kills me inside.i mean is just dance not even a naughty one but just us having fu,the sane gender no any violent action.honestly I don’t know how I survived that year.so when I finished my suspension i went back to school in 2014/2015.on my first day i get a letter from the school saying instead of me to continue with my mates who are in year 3 at that time i have to start from year 2.well I expected that and it’s not that big of a deal to me.so I continue going to lecturers and everything and passing my exams  (which is very very hard coz even the lectures seems to be angry with me )and i don’t really know why.so when I finished my final year which is year4 i came to the school to check for my results but they did it again(trying to destroy my life).they said the school board have no option but to expell me because I didn’t graduated from the appropriate year i was suppose to(which is my class mates year).so i was so angry that I bring that letter they gave me saying they repeated me themselves.but they said that letter has no use in this.this happened on 5/2/2018 .so even as i was writing this letter i swear my eyes are full with tears.i feel like death is the only only option i have.if there’s any spelling mistakes or anything I’m sorry english is not my language.todays date 10/3/2018

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Emis_Moderator
    Emis_Moderator nigeria

    Posted

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    If you are based outside of the UK.

    The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.

    Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane nigeria

    Posted

    Hello Nigeria. As I read your email I am so angry I want to cry. What is wrong with that school?  Are  you going to university in your home country? Nigeria it is not you all you did was dance there is nothing wrong with dancing. I love to dance it's fun. I am so sorry that the school has hurt you this way. They cannot keep your credits from you and you can go to another school and graduate. I can understand how you got sick and depressed. We will be here to help you as long as you need us. Diane

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 nigeria

    Posted

    Hi nigeria - is it a religious school? Is that why they have targeted you?
  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 nigeria

    Posted

    Ok, first, you need a mental health professional to help you to get all of your ducks in a row regarding school. I chose that first because it appears that school is the root of your problem now. And school is upsetting you very much. I am so very sorry for everything that you are going through. You

    Can and will get through this. Second, your health. In order for you to feel healthy you need to be healthy mentally. Once again please see a mental health professional so that you will get healthy mentally. Third, do you have any support at all? Family , friends, teachers , guidance councilor? You can always come here for advice, to vent, or just to talk. You will always receive help from us. This can be your safe place. Please keep us updated 

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