Life never was worth living
Posted , 6 users are following.
anybody wish they were never born.? i do and im at wits end now. im sick of helping people and getting shat on and kicked when i am down in return im fed up with loosing everything i have worked so hard for over and over and always around christmas. im fed up with people doing whatev er it takes to destroy my life and what i have worked so hard to acheive , no matter where i go. im so angry at myself for not killing myself a long time ago. im angry that the mercury didnt work when i tried when i was a kid. im sick of praying to die in my sleep and waking up furious that i am still alive.
0 likes, 7 replies
Patient_mod3 wal85
Posted
Hi Wal85
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patien
ally09070 Patient_mod3
Posted
Hi Wal
im so sorry, its awful when you feel like that. Life really is not fair some of us get all the issues and the crap, and some just seem to have it peachy. I hope you are somewhere safe and im sure theres people out there that would be upset if you were not around. im in a similar head space, Im 27 with constant thoughts the same as yours, Im currently sitting in my partners bed hes gone off somewhere we had a fight last night, im laying here feeling like i want to end it with him because im so unhappy, I think its the depression talking and ill probably lose the one person i love because im so messed up. Its not fair and he doesnt even try to understand. I guess no one really knows your situation but you. Tell me more about yourself and what you do? Im in New ZEALAND
wayne1962 ally09070
Posted
Hi Ally - have you received any treatment for depression?
From another Kiwi.
wal85 ally09070
Posted
I'm 33 as of last month. have been going through drug addiction since I was 16. I finally managed to clean myself up, have no drugs for over twelve months now. I had a great job as maintenance at a motel close to where I had a nice two bedroom apartment. Now it's all been taken away by a junkie raging on ice. The same d**d whom I have helped out a number of times until I got my job. A soon as I got the Jon he has been trying to undermine me since. Then just before Christmas he forced his way into my home and put me in a situation where I had to defend myself and protect all I have worked so hard to get . now I have been charged, am not allowed back home, not allowed to go to work anymore, and have lost everything I have. all I have now is my phone and the clothes on my back. of course he has gotten away with what effectively is a home invasion, free of charge not even a mention.
Nice guys finish last eh?
Well then, at least I now know that there is no place for me in this world. I am fed up with being completely screwed over by those who i help, those who i have done nothing to., those scumbag junkie who hate people that have jobs, pay taxes and contribute to the community, those who will do whatever it takes to destroy the lives of people that are doing better than their pathetic drug fd junkie selves.
The final straw has been drawn now. I cannot and will not keep going anymore. There is only one thing I can do now to put an end to this pathetic miserable life of mine. What choice do I have? I'm finished. now it is just a matter of time.
wayne1962 wal85
Posted
Hi wal85 - I can see some elements in your post that describe me. I spent a life helping others and have learned that no good deed goes unpunished. However, i have not compromised my approach although there are periods when giving up feels like the only way. People can be awful. Some are there just to ruin things because that's what they love, and I've had more than my fair share of others impeding my life and trying to bring me down. Sometimes they succeed.
Are you receiving any medical help with this? Counselling? Medications? We have a duty to explore every avenue before we quit. You are in the right place here to share. we understand.
wal85
Posted
ending my life is the only option i have now so all would like is to know where I will be able to get my hands on pure barbitual sodium nembulate for a good price. because of the pathetic laws in the country I live in, I can't get my hands on any firearms.
wayne1962 wal85
Posted
Hi again wal85, thanks for responding. Unfortunately no-one will be able to help you with your request as this incriminates the supplier of information, and if you were to succeed in your quest, that supplier can be charged as an accessory. Please try something else - you really do have other choices, and we are always here to talk.