Lightweight ... or problem drinker.. I can not decide

Hello Alonangel thank you for your reply. And sorry for your loss to. Yes I am aware of health guidlines. But right now kind of on a self destructive path/ phase, where guidelines mean very little to me, come on you know the score ? My Gp drinks more than I do, and and didn't seem concerned at the amount I drank, however I will seek help from Mind they do have a service, and I think I owe it to my Daughter to not go further down this slippery slope. But ironically it is mostly her attitude and behaviour toward me, that makes me want to drink more

If drinking is a problem for YOU...than it is a problem.

​your daughter is going thru growing pains..and unfortunately....we as parents suffer for that...but that is why they are growing pains. 

​Dont bring more pain to her...by hurting yourself...its a temporary solution...and brings life long problems to those that love you.

 

Hi DawnRainbow,

I certainly do know the score... especially in the Alcohol Units daily quota bumpf !  I have had spectacular blips, in that respect... ending up in A.&E., nuff said.

You are wise to consider your daughter.  I don't know how old she is.

My adult son and daughter have suffered much more than I can bear to admit, because of my drinking.

They do not forget.  My son forgives better, though.

My daughter once gave me a letter that she had written, for me to read when I was sober.  It shattered my fragile psyche.  She told me to climb out of my selfish pit of despair.  She said she would cut herself off from me completely, if I would not try.  She just could not take anymore.

I am still trying.  I am still failing. God help us all.

Alonangel 🎇

Aww your children sound harsh on you. Well during daughters childhood most I drank was two pints twice  a week.... but since Dads death that has esculated. My daughter is 20.. she has had my total support physically emotionally and financially all her life... but she refuses to look for work... pay rent.. or obey any household rules.. she sees my passive vulnerablity and exploits it 

Sounds like your daughter has some flavor of depression. I suppose CMHT has the same rubbish offering for that...

My son is 20 also and although he works,he gets out of paying for anything because he knows he can get away with it,it's probably my guilt and I'm a pushover

Hi Nic.. I have asked my daughter for rent.. in order to teach her life is not a free ride., After Dad died at Christmas I told her she could have to June free  to give her time to find a job, this hasnt happened. I am not a pushoever but no energy to keep trying to help her 

She is on anti depressants but doesnt take them as she should. and yep shyte all help round here. There is a service via Parable but she wont ring them. I did ring on her behalf once, but she wouldnt take the phone call!. In my opinion she needs hospital 

She doesn't see herself as having a problem? How did she do in school? 

Keep hanging in there, Dawn. While none of us (save Paul Turner) are health professionals, we can at least offer moral support and maybe a helpful suggestion or two. I think there's a way forward for both you and your daughter, somebody's going to know someone who knows someone who can help.

Oh she sees herself of having a problem.. she tells me she is depressed. but help herself. She did very well at school.. was at one point classed as gifted.. but that was when I used to help her lots at home to ! .. Her Dad had contact with her until she was 11.. My Mum died when she was 11 ... we all had always lived together.. so that was huge for her. She was bullied for being clever ! Teachers did sod all... I tried hard to support her... but all this slowly hammered .. she did go on to get a diploma... and good A and gcses.. but since leaving college.. she is broken 

"She was bullied for being clever ! "

Grrrr! If there's one thing about schools that needs to change, it's that the bullies need to be pulled out and dealt with in a manner that permanently stops that behavior (which may well have started at home). THEN they can apply to be readmitted to the school. 

I'm sorry you're having to deal with the fallout from all that and the other life-changing events. Perhaps the best way to help her now is to help yourself and arrange for some counseling so you can move forward. I don't know what private rates are like around there, would that be an option? BPDWorld is referenced on Mind, so that might be a way to go. I also see on one of the BPD pages on Mind they have a link for advocacy, I wonder if they can help you get past CMHT's shirking.