Living alone for the first time - help

Posted , 4 users are following.

I've recently moved into an apartment where I'll be living alone for the first time.

During the move I suffered severe anxiety due to over thinking the costs of renting - I suffer with bipolar and in a manic episode last year I took out loans I couldn't afford. I can afford to pay them off but it will be tight (about £50 spare after all bills and groceries - a friend mentioned applying for PIP but not sure I'd be eligible).

However, a week since moving in I've calmed down worrying about finances slightly but now I just cannot function alone. My boyfriend will be around as much as he can without actually moving in, but like now he has returned home and I'm a mess. I feel so down and sad and tearful.

I can't stop crying because I feel completely out of my comfort zone.

Getting a roommate isn't an option as it's a tiny place. I've decided to get a second job in a pub to get me out of the home a few nights a week but I cannot face doing this alone. I have lots of neighbours who have been lovely so far but I can't rely on them as they're strangers and don't know anything about me.

Can anyone offer tips etc to help me cope with this horrible feeling of being alone?

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Living alone for the first time is tough enough without having depression and anxiety on top.

    You have to get to the route of the problem why your anxious or depressed

    then you may be able to live comforably in your own home.

    If you have pushed yourself too far and cant afford the place then you have to decide what you want your health or a place of your own

    You dont say if your on medication and therapy is a good idea.

    Pip is for people who have problem looking after themselves not for people who can work two jobs.

    Perhaps a bigger place and then you can have housemates to help with rent

    Take Careconfused

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    • Posted

      I cannot afford to back away now and lose my deposit, which my boyfriend helped with.

      I thought the same about PIP but a friend who also suffers with bipolar was accepted - she works 3 jobs but is struggling to afford the debt she has as a result from mania.

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  • Posted

    You're going to get through this, Kage. You need to call a good friend or relative and share what you've shared here. If the depression doesn't go away after a couple of days, please see a doctor.

    I'll be praying for you.

    Kirk   :-)

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    • Posted

      My boyfriend is already aware and along with my Pdoc he is helping. I have my next meeting at the menta health centre on 20th of April but will call them sooner if I don't feel any better.

      Thank you xx

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  • Posted

    Living on your own is hard. Have you asked for any benifits from the state. Have you asked for PIP. It might be worth a try. Try and ask for it.
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    • Posted

      I have already enquired and they've sent me the form. I'm going to complete it with my Pdoc, but there is no guarantee. The issue is I work and pay tax, but like above there's a lot of negativity because I still work (despite having to take regular time off).

      It's shameful as I try to come across as a very together person but I'm breaking and struggling in my new home. It doesn't feel like home at all.

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  • Posted

    Holy cow! You sound just like me! I was married 21 years and had been with my soon to b be ex husband 24 years so basically my whole adult life. I too moved into an apartment. While doing so I lost my kids, who chose their dad over me. And I walked away from a life I had always known to a WHOLE new world. New job new people new town new everything! Anyway I do not know what has helped others but I went to my Dr. Got some med to help me cope. Also some to help me sleep,cause I can not with help. Then I wrote down EVERY SINGLE thing I felt and feared. I do not know if you belive in God, but I wrote letters to him. During my move I met a man who I fell madly in love with, how I still do not know, and after my ex started stalking me my boyfriend couldn't take anymore so he had to say goodbye to me. I went to work came home took my med to sleep, cried myself to sleep and the cycle went on. Anyway I wrote letters to god. I joined a group. I went to church. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. These days are dark and hard. But the sun will shine again. Just have faith. Talk to a Dr. Keep reaching out here. People care they really do.

    Best wishes!

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