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Living just to exist. Everyday feels the same the only point is survival. I need help

Posted , 4 users are following.

fear02522
fear02522

I am so confused that I don't even know where to begin with. I cannot even explain my self that is how stupid I just feel. As a 20 years old teenager I should be worrying about other things. But the invisible illness has killed me over 8 years.

My heart is pounding fast like always. Over 100 bpm. Only during the nights it gets easier.

I have got lots of pains and stifness that even affect my head, I mean sometimes left sometimes right sided that freaks me out about strokes, blood clots heart attacks etc. My back is really bad but that is my fault for extremely prolonged sitting in bad positions, that could cause the radiating pains? I am afraid to go to sleep because when I am about to fall asleep I notice severe weaknees/dizziness and sometimes feels like if I don't move my left side of the body will be paralyzed or I might even die..

Like blood is going well?

I've had tons of other symptoms that have gone away thankfully including some with pre-sleeping disturbations that were perhaps even worse.

No matter how hard I try no matter which doctor I go to no matter which tests I run the answer is always physically healthy.

I mean, how could it be?

Actually sometimes I do think that might be the case cause if I had some severe illness I would have been hospitalized by now, something should have happened right? Nvm I am just too confused and no idea where I am gonna end up if I have something I just want to know yo..

I feel so broken inside

I had so many bloodworks done.

Had an incredible amounts of ecgs done.

Numerous echodiagrams.

ER visits twice

Holter monitoring.

Stress test.

CT of head.

Lungs capacity test.

Had my neck and stomach checkrd through eco was told my neck arteries are clean but that is what scares me. Feels like sometimes blood isn't moving quite well to my head.

So confused.

So sad.

So anxious.

All I want to do is live.

Unfortunately I am not living for the past 8 years

Had some ups indeed but right now I am breaking bad

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • shawei28
    shawei28 fear02522

    Posted

    I feel you.. ive been feeling like this lately. Im sufferring all ur symptoms since 2013. And i was feeling fine for the last 2 years not until novmber this year. sad I hope ur feeling fine today. Just be strong.
  • jacques72493
    jacques72493 fear02522

    Posted

    Im in the same boat , feeling down today , It feels like I dont want to get out of bed , Like nothing can make me smile or happy , I always have phisical symtoms and they shift around al the time , it started with stomach and chest then that whent aways then it was nausua and headaches , the that went away then it was stomach again , and my heart keeps punding , Im afraid to move around to much upon it all I had 2 panic attacks in the last 2 days , I feel like the end is near , and worst is I did have Ekg's or ECG' and everything looked fine my bloodwork looked fine , Doctor only wants to do more tests to be sure Im going soon in January , this week , but that makes me freak out is I have not yet been daignosed with anything , and this only started 2 months ago , Can this truly be anxiety ,I try my best to keep it together and not focus on the symtoms but sometimes their so bad , I need my life back aswell cuase Im not living at this moment

    • shawei28
      shawei28 jacques72493

      Posted

      I feel like that almist everyday since 2013. And felt fine last 2014-2016 then i am anxious again since november this year. Since 2013 i went through alot of dpctors and did lots of tests and all but i was only diagnosed with PVC and PACS and GERD as well as IBS. sad Its really frightening. But just hang on. There are days that we will feel fine and we have to make the best out of it when we're feeling ok. Its sucks. sad

    • fear02522
      fear02522 shawei28

      Posted

      I was doing fine for like 2 years I think when I smoked weed in a car. 21 december 2016. My heart rate got 150bpm my whole body became weird and cold I panicked so much I was convinced that I am dying that night. Had my friends take me to hospital as I could not even climb the stairs alone. They ran some tests and gave me something which after 2 hours I think made me a lot better. I used to smoke weed before too and never had that feeling. No idea what happened and since that moment I am living through hell. Again.
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