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Living with depression

Posted , 5 users are following.

eleanor2022
eleanor2022

I don't feel overly stressed about anything apart from the ordinary things, work is going okay and I am socialising and exercising plenty. However I have spent the last few weeks feeling lower than I have for a long time and am finding it difficult to get myself out of this slump. It is hard to remember how difficult things are when you feel like this as my last prolonged drop was over a year ago. I do get bad days and bad weeks but this is the first time I have felt like this for longer. The little things that used to make a difference and lift my mood a bit no longer seem to have much impact at all... which makes it even harder not to feel useless and drag me down further. Does anyone have any advice?

2 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • michael98615
    michael98615 eleanor2022

    Posted

    hey hi Eleanor, i'm pretty much the same as yourself, do you see a GP, if not, i advice u make an appointment, an mention what u have in ur post,
    • eleanor2022
      eleanor2022 michael98615

      Posted

      Hi there, no i haven't this time. I did a year or so ago when i had my major low, but came off my medication in october and am trying to cope without. So I feel like that would be a last resort, but thank you anyway and goodluck to you smile 
  • blad4
    blad4 eleanor2022

    Posted

    I'm going to sound overly-simplistic but bare with me for now and I will continue to respond with greater depth.

    How much time, per day, do you allocate to your inner self. Literally, how long do you sit in dim light, in silence, and reside in your head?

    How connected do you feel to the root cause of, as you put it, feeling low. Is there a boredom/loneliness/fear/insecurity contingent to this? How do you even feel about elaborating that to me here, or even to yourself, with your thoughts?

    • sue73
      sue73 blad4

      Posted

      I know I shouldn't barge into someone else's conversation but the last thing a person with depression can face is listening to their inner self, which given a chance generally bangs on about how life isn't worth living, obsesses about the future, wonders how it would feel to jump into the Thames etc etc. And many of us know exactly why we feel like we do – that doesn't necessarily help. I spend my time trying to distract myself, finding things to do, going out, walking, meeting friends even if it's hard work. 

      Sorry, I'll go back to my corner now! It just makes me cross when I'm advised to listen to my own mind, it's torture!

    • blad4
      blad4 sue73

      Posted

      Hey sue sorry if I came across that way. Because there was little detail in the original post I felt compelled to draw attention to it. We are under the impression that whatever happens in our life we should remain happy and content. This is not the case, and depression definitely, definitely is triggered. We are not born with a biological precursor to become depressed.

      And I thank you for reminding us of the difficulty. I am not disagreeing with you at all here, nor have I enjoyed what has felt like battling with my own thoughts till I'm drained in the short-term, but I can only go on what i've experienced and the amazing results I and some close others have felt. Tell me, do you honestly feel you can be connected to yourself more? Sounds like a stupid question, right? But knowing that feeling content is an expression of that very concept, maybe it is worth asking ourselves such questions through a different lens? The process and challenge itself is the actual goal.

    • blad4
      blad4 sue73

      Posted

      And by connected to yourself please dont think i mean it condescendingly at all. Taking your example of 'when left alone to ponder your mind ends up wanting you to jump in the thames' then let the mind itself question what it is doing. We are our minds, our thoughts can only occur in our minds, so why is there this feeling of self-sabotage?

      I personally put a lot of effort into watching my self-sabotage thoughts crop up in my mind. I ponder things such as why do they occur when I'm lonely. Why do i remember fewer good memories I made that day. Was it because I was distracted by the company I wanted to be distracted with? Getting to the root of my own problems then gives my mind a little release, and this is physiologically backed up. i further feel a better effect by linking breathing work with my thoughts.. Which then links onto movements as well. Next thing you know i have distracted myself with some sort of observation of my unconcious. Anyways, I'll stop otherwise I'll be banging on all day

    • sue73
      sue73 blad4

      Posted

      Well, different strokes for different folks I guess. I am a horribly self-conscious person and after 15 years of this I'm well aware that my own mind is generating all these feelings! Getting to the root of my problems gives me no relief at all, and breathing exercises make me feel panicky. The only things that work for me are walking and talking to my counsellor and both of those are only temporary. I am now reluctantly trying medication.. I'll see how that goes!

      Anyway, poor Eleanor whose post this was hasn't got a word in yet and she might really have appreciated your advice!

  • liana01735
    liana01735 eleanor2022

    Posted

    I'm doing a therapy at the moment called Mindfulness which is designed to help you be more aware and present in the here and now which ultimately helps you get more pleasure out of life. If you easily get lost in thoughts like most of us do, ruminating about the past and planning for/worrying about the future it's easy to get to the point where you're just going through the motions and automatically reacting to things in your day which although is something out brains naturally do to help us do multiple things at once it can take a toll on our emotional and even psychical well being as we lose touch with our surroundings and what is going on inside bodies if that makes sense. It sounds like hippy nonsense but it has been thoroughly tested and has proven to help countless people. There are plenty of books about it giving you simple exercises you can do through your day. I’m lucky enough to be also getting a free course through a charity, The Richmond Fellowship in the UK. It would be worth speaking to your GP as they may be able to get you on a free course.
  • eleanor2022
    eleanor2022

    Posted

    Thank you both blad4 and liana01735 for replying. blad4 I feel like what you were saying links very closely to mindfulness and the conepts it follows. I have done a fair bit of this before, mainly after my major low a year or so ago when i started feeling more like my old self... to help keep incheck with my emotions and how they were effected by everyday things. It was great to start off with but I felt it required a lot of time and as the pace of life picked up again I found it difficult to keep doing it within my routine. I know that I should fine the time to do these things but when you do feel a bit better I find it is so easy to forget the little things that helped and you almost get a false confidence that it won't happen again... which i am now unfortunately realising is not true. sue73 I agree with a lot of what you say, being asked what the reasons for why you feel the way you do is sometimes one of the hardest answers and other times the easiest! I used to think understanding and thinking about why i felt those things was going to be a waste of time but sometimes it does make you think more clearly or rationally. Though when you're in the middle of an anxiety attack or low moment i find it is almost impossible to be that rational with yourself. I have also found my counsellor to be the best help ever and after a 5 month break from seeing her I have booked myself another appointment, I would always choose to talk to someone than go back on medication. I know the facilities aren't always there for people and medication for others is the best option and was for me at a time but talking really does help, so thank you all! 
    • blad4
      blad4 eleanor2022

      Posted

      You're in a better place than you were in the past eleanor. I used to take breaks from mental practices and beat myself up about why I quit, because like you said, it's pretty hard when things are on the up and you just want to be 'normal', and also you don't want to remind yourself of the mindsets you came from. But in my experience, massive and inadvertent breaks have actually helped dramatically. It's almost like I had been developing for months at a time whilst not doing the mindfulness work. I then find by going back to it with a more fresh outlook and experience, the effect of it is then greater than it was last time. Anyway I dunno if you get the drift, it's such a detailed and in-depth.. topic. Or whatever it is lol!
  • eleanor2022
    eleanor2022

    Posted

    I think thats the worse thing about this... you get to a point where you feel in control of how you feel, you think you can be normal and carry on with everything. And then it just hits you! Nothing is worth doing, because why whats the point... you'll do the same mundain things everyday to keep life ticking over. But how are you supposed to carry on, people around thing you're over reacting, tired or stressed, after all there must be a reason for you to feel like this. I hate knowing this could happen at any point for the rest of my life....
    • blad4
      blad4 eleanor2022

      Posted

      Ah mate tell me about it. Now we're talking about the existential crisis that really every person has, just most don't even know they have a sublime and amazing way of coping with it. Called blissful ignorance.

      God knows how they do it. Since a kid I couldn't help but *over*think everything. But if that's my natural mind state, to f***ing think more than others, why am I classed as an overthinker?? 

      The lack of freedom which comes from work or study, which is society in a nutshell, is suffocating. There is no choice but to do 40+ hours a day, the survival stimulus has been swapped with social stigma forcing us to do it. Which is even more pathetic when you think about it.

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