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Hi I'm so desperate for help. I know there are lots of threads on here regarding Depression, but I can't see anything similar to mine. I'm 44 & my husband is 42, we have 2 children aged 9 & 15. Been with him for 23 years married for 16. 4 Years ago he had a fling with another lady, for about 5 weeks, everything but Sex. We were having issues and he wasn't happy, same old stuff e.g. kids changed me, not giving him much attention etc. He has never cheated on me before, but we argued non stop. We brushed it under the carpet and just carried on with life. Last year, we had house refurbished it was so stressful, as had to live in it whilst it being done. Ran out of money and hubby had to decorate the whole house, I can't stand DIY. Then out of the blue said he no longer wanted to live with me, but unfortunately no one could put him up, so he never went. Then end of April this year, he said he is leaving me and moving in with his mum. May 7th he left me, I was broken. Then a few days later he bumped into this other woman again and they started a proper realtionship, full on. She has no kids, lives with her uncle and drinks quite a lot. She is 10 years younger than me, then I found out she was someone I knew, she was one of my Sister In Law's closest friend. Felt sick. Anyway started to accept he had left me and getting on with my life, money was always an issue, but he didn't leave me without. He wouldn't sit down with me and sort the money out, just said carry on as we always had, joint account. 3 months down the line, he wasn't happy with his new life, he felt guilty all the time. His new GF, so I believe, fell in love with him. Not sure how he felt about her, he liked her a hell of a lot and kept saying she's a lovely person. I never bad mouthed her or anything. He moved back home on August 14th, not through my choice. His mum had chucked him out, he'd ended it with his GF as he wasn't happy and I didn't have a choice. So we are now 3 months down the line and 3 weeks ago he tells me he doesn't know what he wants anymore. He's not happy with anything at all, I now feel like I'm living with a corpse. I believe he is suffering from Depression and I just need to let him get on with it. I've been told I need to concentrate on my own needs, it's all about me and the kids, but the SILENCE IS DEAFENING. He's gone to the Dr's to go onto Antidepressants and has an appt next week to allow them to work and talk through what he needs to do. I'm unsure what to do, as I want to save our marriage, but this is all beyond my control. I'm chatting to the wall and it's worse than arguing. As it's like I'm invisible, he doesn't show any emotion at all. I'm hoping he's going to go for councilling, but at present he doesn't want to. He's falling deeper and deeper into this black hole and I'm losing him. I love him so so so much and can't stand that he's doing it all to me again. Even though I believe depression has taken hold. Any advice would be appreciated.
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