Living with s herion addict

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I would be grateful if somone could help in some sort of way .. i met a lad a couple of years ago and to be honest he was on a methadone programme on consume and still is ... before xmas he was carryin hes coat around every were and one day he left it so of course i was suspicous and i went in hes coat they was a spoon old bags and needles rolled upin hes hood i didnt go mad i just said get tht out .. so cut a long story short i kept him with me he was takin me medication to help him through hes rattle so he did go out a cple of times in tht week but didnt look of hes face ... so latley over the last 4 months hes seemed to bk n forth of comin home but lookin n talkin so diffrent and what i would call maskin things like tryin to make converstion but just talkin sh*t n being very active cleanin all the time but hes attitude changed he was nasty n to me in the way he spoke or if we had a row he would get really nasty .. i had a feelin he was back on this vile stuff and he told me he said i wont lie i did go back on herion ... well i wasnt shocked but dissapointed and all of hes money was going it was all owed out for drugs .. now the thing is hes tellin me hes only having half a bag every other day now this is were i need ppls help ... 3 days into him sayin no hes had none now my brother was on it for years i lived not at home then so i didnt really see it 24 /7 but im in this relationship and its very exhausting im in very bad health my self and im so upset some days it causes me to go back over in health .. the things he does is talk with a silly voice then he eats all sugary stuff,he sweats really badly and now when hes sleepin hes just doing silly gasp noises or shoutin and jerking ..hes vomiting but its just like water and then he goes straight back to sleep ... so when hes doing all this it makes me think hes got to be having a bag every day .. he dosent get money from me ever n hes never stole from me ..im just wondering if i should leave him its exhausting .. really and painful to.watch when hes in bed sleepin but doing silly slow motion things with hes hands

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  • Posted

    Wow...girlfriend of the year candidate. he is very lucky..hope he knows it.

    First off..he is an addict which is a big hot mess for any relationship.

    If hes twitching and puking he is in withdrawal. Talk to him. learn about it and offer support.

    But many addicts get well and many addicts are amazing human beings. But some don't get better so if you choose to be with him ....

    thank him for the honesty he has shown you (once he got caught) .

    If he denied it id tell you to run away fast.

    Decide if you are in or out .

    If you are in then demand an honesty ultimatum with absolutely ZERO  extra chances.

    If he wants to get well he WILL need your help and the number 1 indicator of future success is the ability to be 100% HONEST with you

    Support and understand him and the addiction process (and the recovery process).

    Lots of H addicts live normal lives but they often drag their partners thru hell (generalization) . Its impossible to use drugs on the downlow and be honest. Dishonesty will destroy EVERY love story period.

    So I advise 

    If he chooses abstinence (methadone and buprenorphine UNDER THE CARE OF AN ADDICTION  MEDICINE MEDICAL DOCTOR'S SUPERVISION are ok) and honesty]

    Then he is choosing you

    If he chooses drugs and honesty he is trying to choose you

    If he chooses drugs and dishonesty you do not stand a chance.

    Learn, research, talk to him ..buy drug test kits for evey 72 hours

    be patient 

    BUT

    be careful and don't lose yourself in his cause

    LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF FIRST

    sounds like you are worth it

    give us an update or ask for support.

    ive been on his side before and its not pretty

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  • Posted

    Hi there laurie

    I have been a heroin addict for 15 years I put it down on the 13th March 2016 tomorrow will be 14 months.

    This is very difficult for you I'm sure.

    I met a man 16 years ago he said he was an ex heroin. I was proud of him..

    But one year in we moved in together I was weak low and ended up an Addict too.

    I should have left not picked it up but I wanted to stay cause I thought I could help him ..... and me

    After living a Web of lies and decite the things you do. the chasing the rattles the waiting to feel well was an eternal nightmare.

    15 years on i found the strength to stop. Left my husband as he was still doing it.

    That's my story

    For you its different you are trying to help him I can see. Heroin distroys lives and families.

    I lost my self respect my family were okay and are very supportive but I put them through hell.That's what you are going through now.

    It's sounds to me he needs professional help but does he want it?

    It sounds like he's been going to get it then coming back.

    You mentioned your brother so u see the signs if he is being sick like that it sounds like if he has not had it he rattles hence the being sick.

    No one could help me until I was ready i had the best intentions but failed before.

    If I could go back i would have left that day.

    Are you safe does he ever bring the drug near you,

    This is very hard as I'm not you.

    Help him recognise he has problem if can open up about his using that maybe a start.

    You say you are unwell yourself look at you first please

    I really feel for you

    Take care Vicky x

    I don't know how old he is it never too late too get help.

    Maybe say you can't cope and you need time it is exahasting and you don't know how long the process will take if he wants help.

    I didn't realise what I'd done my family and loved ones untill in my recovery I asked them it broke my heart but it was my actions!. I picked it up off my husband that day.

    It can turn the nicest person to a very nasty person.

    Long post I know

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