Loneliness

Posted , 5 users are following.

I'm not sure whether I suffer from depression or anxiety or both. I've been married for over11 years and prior to that we were together for 3 years. It was the natural progression for me to get married but he did it because i asked him to. So we were very close to each other and then kids happened and obviously the relationship changes. He felt left out and i was just busy. We had a couple of counselling sessions and things improved. Life went on.

A year later I am a full time mum and I do feel extremely lonely. As he works and is the main breadwinner his attitude seems to change. Our roles seem to change. From a fiercely independent person that thrives on social ties i have no one to speak to. Im literally begging for affection and attention and what i have instead are things like " get a life " , "sort yourself out" ," f** off" you have everything you need you should be grateful....well i do have the physical things but Im losing my own self of self in this toxic relationship. I am doubting myself and wonder what example am i for my children? He argues anywhere and even in front if the kids and he is very critical about my appearance eg too fat, not attractive or stop eating or clothes are hideous etc. I told him he was an abuser yesterday and i wondered if he heard me. It would fit in all the emotional abuse criteria but presents very differently at work or with others...i wonder if this is the end.

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  • Posted

    Sandy - I’m so sorry your going through this.  As described, that’s not a good situation for anyone.  When kids are involved, even worse.   Relationships can strain when kids come along, as your attentions naturally become divided.  Simply there a lot to do to manage a family.  I know you tried this route, but maybe some individual as well as family/relationship counseling would help.  With your situation and stress, this could certainly result in anxiety and depression.  But hopefully you can address/improve the situation and keep any anxiety and depression at bay.   Rest assured, I think you will find by participating in this forum you will immediately find an abundance of supportive friends.  And they all care for YOU and want to see you thrive and win.  So know as of today and this very moment, that you are not alone...  
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  • Posted

    Hi Sandy my god no wonder your feeling the way the way you are, if it was me  sorry to say this but i would of walked out the moment he called me fat and f--k off, and you should be grateful, but you have children and that is a hard one, plus i would not leave them with him, sorry if this sounds harsh but i have been in abusive relationships, and mental ones can be worse than physical, i am no doctor or professional but i talk from experience, i hate hearing what you are going through, for one sound like a good kind caring person who has a lot of love to give, and he does not deserve you , and your you and your children do not need to be around some one like that, and you are your own person you were not born a slave to him, long gone are the days a woman cook , cleans, and keeps house for a man just cause he brings home the bacon, sorry it makes me so mad , what year is he living in, woman now have children and fabulous careers, and i do not see why this ca not be you, all this man , if you can call him this has stripped you of your self esteem , is this what you want your children to see and grow up to be, that is not good for you and them , right now you are feeling terrible and lost faith in yourself, and you certainly have the signs of depression who would not being treated the way you are, you need to  take steps to look after yourself , put yourself first, you need to be strong, so you can be strong for your children, first step is to see your doctor about how you feel they will put you on the right track to getting back to your lovely self, and you can always talk to me if you need strength, and if you want to talk privately, you can, in the private message me, so everything you say to me is in obviously private, please contact me there is lots of help out there for you, and you only get one life live it , do not take crap from anyone god bless and iam giving you a big hug i think you need it xxx
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  • Posted

    Sandy. I've lived what you described here. Ended in divorce....still trying to pick up the pieces...

    This is savable. Hearts get hardened because of worldly pressures and they come at us fast and hard, especially while raising a family.

    I found this place (went to a divorce group there) and found some amazing things. Answers.

    Please take a few minutes to listen to this....might find something that'll help.

    You are loved...

    Moderator comment: I have removed the link(s) directing to site(s) unsuitable for inclusion in the forums. If users want this information please use the Private Message service to request the details.

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  • Posted

    Hi i am sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear but that was my advice i could not stay with someone who treated me like that, but everyone is different and i would not want to offend you, its was a little easier for me as i do not  have children , not that mental abuse from someone is easy to get away from, but you know about this man and you did marry him and have children with him, and you obviously love him still, so like what tsea said if family counselling is what you want then so be it, but when i read what you said, you said yo have already tried that and he was not interested, and by the sounds of it, it seems like your doing all the work and he could not care less, but if there was something there and you think its worth a go , you have choices and there YOUR choices no one else we are here to help and stand by you if you need it, xxx
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    • Posted

      Hi Sandy yes no problem love to hear from you and know how your doing , look where you have last messaged me sandy to jaybabes , right above there is a envelope in a square with something in the middle press on that and follow instruction very simple ,you will come straight through, but i will get back to you but not right now i have to do something and i will be off line for the next 4/5 hrs but i promise you on my kitten life and she is my life i will get back to you any problems i will private message you, and your profile page has the box go there and open and you will see my message ,good luck , signing off now only for a little while x

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    • Posted

       Hi sandy I have pm you to receive it go to the top of your profile page ,on the left hand side you will see messages, and it will have a 1 in it ,go to it and open it and you will see my name and view , ok this is so simple hun xxx
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  • Posted

    Thank you for all your comments. As much as it is easy to say to walk out of this there's a lot to think about and whether we like it or not money comes into it. Do i want my children to continue having a good life in fee paying schools i couldn't afford it on my own... i am hoping to channel all this negative energy into something else like something that makes me happy as he suggested i found my own happiness. Thank you all for the hugs needed those x

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