Posted , 7 users are following.
Some people may be surrounded by family and feel lonely. Others may be surrounded by friends and feel lonely. What would you suggest to overcome/reduce loneliness?
3 likes, 46 replies
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frustrated61 gloria12683
Posted
Loneliness is different to most everyone. If you lack friends and family, that can be lonely. If you are not open for something new, that could lead to lonely. However, myself, I feel lonely is w/i. I mean, I have plenty of friends and family that would be here for me in a heartbeat. However, because of things I'm going through, I feel isolated by no other means but myself. My friends and family always ask me if I want to go somewhere, lunch, shopping or just a park and sit and talk, they'll take me. That's where I fail. I have always been the one who asked people to do something with me and i'd do the driving. Now, because of the medications I take, I cannot drive, plus sjogrens is usually too badly afflicted that I cannot see the signs. Anyway, because I cannot bring myself to ask someone to do something (because they'd have to pick me up and I feel odd after I had asked them to do it with me). So, this is an ongoing problem for me and does cause me to feel lonely. I have my husband at home with me 24/7 but it's nice to have a change. I've told my friends how I feel about this and they understand, yet it's far and few between that they actually ask me to do something with them. I will ask them to come over for lunch and that helps but my health doesn't always allow me to be that gracious. I do the best I can. My husband is so helpful that he has told me he'd make the lunch and he'd take off so I'd have one on one. I'll try that as my New Years resolution lol...that never happens! lol but I can dream.
Anyway, as Doc pointed out, this forum does help with some of the loneliness so I encourage you to keep writing to us
Warm regards,
Frustrated
georgeGG frustrated61
Posted
When I was small I still had great aunts around. I only saw them as visitors, mostly at my maternal grandparent's house. One in particular stood out. She accepted favours and asked for them too with peculiar sweetness. This small boy noticed but it took years to realise what I had seen. It was loving graciousness. So put your new year resolution into gear instead of the car (do you have automatic shift and don't know what I am talking about). Loving graciousness is far superior, far more difficult than proactive kindness. I know you can do it for you have a big, big heart full of love. So go to it and learn to bring joy to family and friends with your loving graciousness. Carress them by confiring the privilage of taking you shopping, going out to lunch, bringing supper in, going to the theater or movies. Carress them by showing your pleasure in being carressed by them. This will be a life changer for more than just you.
Oh! a word of warning. be an expert at avoiding getting on the bus to Abeline. That takes tact and honesty. MmmmI think you will have an interesting 2015 dear Frustrated.
gloria12683 georgeGG
Posted
I understand what you are saying. For the past 5yrs I have had fibromyalgia quite bad. I have got into the habit of asking one of the children to pass me this or that as it is painful to get out of a chair. Majority of the time they will pass it to me and smile as if they have enjoyed doing something for me. It’s a shame they are not quite as enthusiastic when I say it time for cleaning up.
Cheers,
Gloria
georgeGG gloria12683
Posted
That got me smiling. Yes, know your audiance. Some things they will do and a lot they will not. Our little scamps are human, howeverr old they are. Middle aged children assume the aged parent can do nothing and manage them thourghly until . . . that is the aged one is useful. Suddenly they can do all sorts of useful things while the middel aged parents go off and enjoy themselves. Mmmm? they are still human it seems.
xxxxGeorge
gloria12683 georgeGG
Posted
I know what your mean, as soon as my children turned 18 they thought they could get away with this type of behavior. I usually put my foot down and remind them of who the parent is.
It is a shame society is going this way, when I was younger parents were respected a lot more. My two daughters use to work for blue care, going into the homes of the elderly to clean. They would often complain how some of the children would not only verbally abuse some of the clients but physically as well.
I think there needs to be far more recognition of this problem with more solutions offered.
Cheers,
Gloria
frustrated61 georgeGG
Posted
The only thing I'm confused about is you stating for me to "get ready to grit your teeth". I cannot figure out what you meant by that. In any case, I agree that graciousness is hard to do. I make sure when I do go with friends that called upon me to do something with them, I do make sure I tell them how much they are appreciated and how much I love them. There isn't much more I can do except to call them when I don't hear from them...I make that move so they feel important! I love my family and my friends. I only wish I could see more of them but it's not possible so I'll take what I can and try and be happy with the rest of my time.
Writing back and forth on this forum makes me happy. Especially because of people like yourself, Doc. You have warmed my heart and have made me feel so welcomed and important. I do appreciate you and the fact that you came into my life! I also appreciate all the others that have responded to posts or discussions I've created, thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Much love to all of you,
Frustrated
georgeGG frustrated61
Posted
I was just about to give you a little 'medicine' . Mostly it was a playful pleasantry. You got the point straight away. Being gracious is very very difficult. When you need others it is good that they feel valued and carressed.
I loved your response. You made me feel mmmmm carressed.
Doc / George ( being Doc is an onging carress)
frustrated61 georgeGG
Posted
Do you find it odd that some people can outright say they love you and just by the way they say it, you know they are sincere? I have two very special friends that are always saying they love me and I say to them the same. I have a few other long time friends (from the 6th grade and up) that just being together I know they love me. I just find it different that for some it's so hard to express that feeling of love. And, I'm talking love as in "they love me for whom I am and I love them for whom they are"...I'm rambling lol as you can see, it's 4 am and I cannot sleep. Time to get some valerian...that helps a lot!
Well, everyone in this discussion, hoping you have people that makes you feel loved and remember to give the love in return. We all need to make this world a better place.
<3 *steps off my soapbox, waves
*
ciao,
frustrated *steps="" off="" my="" soapbox,="" waves=""
="" *="" ciao,=""> *
ciao,
frustrated>
georgeGG frustrated61
Posted
I hope you slept and slept well at that.
When we meet face to face we soon know with whom we exchange mutual love. It is not the words, delightful though they are 'I love you, etc.' It is established by our whole behaviour.
A similar thing happens when we contribute to discussions. I mean all contributions a person makes to the forum. Quite quickly what is in their heart is revealed and our heart warms or not accordingly. All contributions to us from such a person who warms our heart conveys that warmth to us Some of us like to express endearments, others less so. The key is the way the two hearts rejoice in each other.
This forum is thick with such warm hearts, far thicker than is found in a roomful of strangers picked at random. I think it must be shared adversity does something good and precious in us.
Hope to hear some more good things from your soapbox, Frustrated
Doc