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Lonely

Posted , 4 users are following.

katie52188
katie52188

It's been a couple of months and I've been feeling fine and everything's normal but recently I've just gotten back to feeling exactly how I felt before. I just feel so alone as if there is no real place for me anywhere. Why am I even here? 

1 like, 16 replies

16 Replies

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  • sue34151
    sue34151 katie52188

    Posted

    Hi Katie I think it so easy to slip back sometimes it's something  so small and as soon as we start thinking negatively it feels like everything comes back so quickly  and we get in that mind set without even noticing it then it starts to affect everything we do and before we know it we are rock bottem again feeling useless and unworthy of being here but Katie you are worthy remember how good you have been feeling for a while so you know you can get back there are you taking any medication because I have been on medication for depression for so long I can't remember when I started but what I do know is that meds have helped keep me sane most of the time but I still have my bad days when I want to hide under the duvet and not come out but I have found they are getting less frequent I think once you have had depression it is always there waiting to come out when you experience periods of sadness, you sound like a lovely person who's just her way fo a while but you will get back there so try to be kind to yourself we are good at that with others but often forget to be kind to us don't feel alone Katie there's lots of people on here that will listen to your sadness and try to offer advice if they can

    love sue

    • katie52188
      katie52188 sue34151

      Posted

      Thank you sue, no I am not taking any medication I have just been combatting my emotions by myself. I just don't feel like I exist anywhere other than by myself. Many people my age (16) have malicious intentions and purposefully hurt people. I have been on the receiving end of that far too many times and it takes it's toll. After being put down and made to feel worthless repeatedly today everything has come rushing back. I don't feel loved regardless of the environment I'm in, I'm constantly looking over my shoulder now and I can't leave a room without hovering around for a few minutes to hear the conversation as I'm paranoid it's going to be about me. I just feel so alone and I keep hoping that it will get better but more often than none it never does. I know I'm being stupid and pathetic and I can't help but feel guilty as so many people have it worse than me so I honestly shouldn't complain. But it feels like when I'm not being 100% occupied I find myself slipping into negative thoughts again.
  • robin77577
    robin77577 katie52188

    Posted

    Hi Katie,

    Has something changed in your life to make you suddenly feel different? Have you shared this with your parents? Do you have friends you can talk to? 

    You need therapy..and maybe medication. See your doctor.

    Also try to eat well, get plenty of rest, get out in the daylight which elevates the mood...as does exercise. Push yourself outside every day to join the world. Staying on your computer disengages you. Meet up with a good and understanding friend and do something enjoyable together.

    But do see your doctor as soon as you can. There is no need to suffer... 

    Good luck, Katie!

    Robin

    • katie52188
      katie52188 robin77577

      Posted

      No I can't speak to anyone. I just can't do anything right anymore, 
    • robin77577
      robin77577 katie52188

      Posted

      Katie, you are not alone and although it may be hard to believe in the state you are in, your family does care about you. If anything happened to you, they would be devastated. Can you show them your post? If you were suffering with terrible stomach pains...would you share it with them and ask for their help? I'm sure you would. What makes what you are going through any different? They are both medical conditions that need immediate attention. I would bet that just unburdening yourself, taking that risk and speaking to your mother...or father...or even a grandparent would make you feel much better and less alone.

      As for those mean kids; who needs them?  Avoid going on sites where you read things they write. It will just draw you in and you don't need that.

      Go and be with your family. Be honest and open with them. 

      Ask a parent to make an appointment for you at the doctor's. You can get back on your feet by the time school starts up again. There is light at the end of the tunnel. But you need to take steps to move towards that light...as difficult as it seems. 

      Eat well, get plenty of rest, get outside for exercise and in the light which both lift the mood. Maybe even take magnesium supplements which also have been proved effective for depression and anxiety. 

      We are all thinking about you and are all concerned on this post.

      Robin

       

    • katie52188
      katie52188 robin77577

      Posted

      They aren't understanding their responses will be that I'm attention seeking it will be used as a joke to pass round the family. I was going to go to the doctors, looked into counsiling and even spoke to a friend but then I got a lot better and felt relatively happy again but after slipping back to where I was I don't have it in me I'm too scared, I don't want to, I can't, I just assume I will get better again.
    • robin77577
      robin77577 katie52188

      Posted

      I think that if you speak to your parents seriously. Tell them, "Mum and Dad, I need to speak to you about something serious." That WILL get their attention. Then say something like, "I want you to promise not make fun of me or treat this lightly." I am SURE that after saying that, they WILL listen and they WILL help you...but be completely honest. Don't sweep it under the rug or make light of it yourself. Tell them in the same words you used in your first post, how you are feeling. Write it down and hand it to them if that is easier. 

      I think you are sensible and grown up because you did take steps to get help once before; you were about to see a doctor, you were also looking into counselling and you were speaking to a friend about your problem. That really does show a maturity and strength that you have within you. Use it now to push forward to get help from your Mum and Dad. 

       

  • sue34151
    sue34151 katie52188

    Posted

    Hi Katie you are so young to be feeling like this your definitely not stupid or pathetic you obviously are a caring person you have just been caught up with the wrong people that's not hard at your age as we don't learn these lessons in life until we are older try not to care what people think or say about you because you can't change that look at things you can change and if you need new friends then think about where you can meet them life is about feeling happy with ourselves not worrying what other people think of us, what's your relationship like with your mum can you talk to her about how you feel or is there anyone else you could confide in, I think when we get so low we take everything personally  and except these put downs because we feel we deserve them but we don't you are going to have to grow a thick skin and except some people feel it their right to give us their
    • katie52188
      katie52188 sue34151

      Posted

      I completely understand what your saying but I just want to give up now, I don't have it within me to continue not like this. There is no one I can talk to. 
    • robin77577
      robin77577 katie52188

      Posted

      Katie, what do you mean by "I just want to give up now'? Don't do anything foolish. You are a worthwhile person with a full life ahead of you.

      Teens have a hard time seeing around corner. By that it means that they live in the moment and find it hard to see than tomorrow or the next day or even next week will be better. 

      Although you and your parents may not see eye to eye on many things...which is normal when you are an adolescent, they DO love and care for you. If they knew what you are going through, they would hug you and try to make it better. They know what depression is all about and they will help you get through this challenging time. 

      Please write to us after you have spoken to them. this is the first step yo need to take towards wellness; towards the light and towards feeling so much better.

  • sue34151
    sue34151 katie52188

    Posted

    Opinions but remember it only their opinions and we can choose to ignore it sorry Katie pressed the wrong key and posted it unfinished, people will only be cruel if we let them just remove yourself from their words they are not important but remember if we are feeling useless people will pick up on it and make it worse, you are not unloveable you just havnt met the right people yet but remember once you start to tell your mind you are not worthy it will accept it and then you will feel much worse tell yourself that this is just a little hiccup and things will improve and eventually it will you take care and don't let what others say have any space in your mind you are a worthwhile person you do deserve to be happy and you will

    love sue

  • sue34151
    sue34151 katie52188

    Posted

    Well Katie you have been talking to me and robin so you have made a start I know it feels to hard to take these steps but you can't give up because I know things will get better if you just believe in yourself, if robin and I believe in you so can you just take baby steps and know in your heart that you will get through this and if you feel like you need some support cone on here or message me

    love sue

  • robin77577
    robin77577 katie52188

    Posted

    Yes, Sue and I are here to give you support. We are probably both mothers. I can say for sure that if my daughter came to me and said what you have shared with us, I would take it very seriously. As a matter of fact my daughter did have a burnout last year and the family supported her 100% and she is absolutely fine, happy, involved in life, going out with friends etc.. But...she now recognizes when she is working too hard or is feeling worn out. She has learned to listen to her body and its messages. 

    It is summer now. You don't have to have anything to do with any of those idiots. Just be with friends...and tell them not to pass on anything the 'idiots' are saying. You need only positivity while you recover. But of course, in order to recover you need to get help. You will see, even inside a few days, possibly with the proper medication to get you through this crisis, you will be so much better. 

    IF...at any point you feel suicidal thoughts, you MUST go to your parents. You must go to the hospital where they will help you immediately. Are you having such thoughts?

    Robin

  • roberta48267
    roberta48267 katie52188

    Posted

    Hi katie. Welcome to the site.robin and Kate have given all the kind words you could wish for . Sound advice. Which I hope when you have taken in you will act on if possible. Sometimes we think the world is against us. But it's not. All I can say is I will put you in my prayers. God for me is the only true friend who is always there for me.no matter what. Maybe if you don't pray maybe it's worth a try??? Love Roberta xbiggrin
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