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I have felt lonely and isolated in my work since I started over a year ago, i thought time would improve it. Collegues are polite and nice but I never get invited out, FB friend requests are ignored, I have tried to be more friendly/interested in collegues but it never seems to move forward. I have thought to try and find another job but unsure this will happen in new job. There are a couple of people I seem to get along with better than others but again it never seems to move forward and i am left feeling like I am making a fool of myself. The situation is complicated in that some collegues know a great deal about my personal life whilst I know almost nothing of thiers. I have an obvious physical disability due to MS which also impacts.

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  • Posted

    Oh Terri. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Please don't take them personally. The way they are behaving says nothing about you and a lot about them. Some places are just clicky like that. Workplaces that are predominately women can also be very bitchy. You shouldn't have to be trying to fit in. If they where anything like decent,they would be welcoming you with open arms and going out of there way to make you feel comfortable.

    There are other ways to make friends,real decent friends. Lifelong learning centres do some great courses. I did counselling level 1+2 with them and a lot of the work was role play. 1 would play counsellor and the other would play client. You could join the book club at the library where you read,meet up and discuss the book. You could join a choir or church groups and go to the meetings.

    There are so many possibilities. It's just a matter of finding something that interests you and stepping out of your comfort zone to step through the door that first time.

    I bet you are a lovely,gentle person who many would love to spend time with xxx

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  • Posted

    Terri sorry to hear about your situation Gillian's is right tho , ye need to socailize outside of work join somethink interesting , like somethink you enjoyed as a kid . Find your roots and follow them. Maybe the people at your work are not your type of people . It's not your fault they acting the way they do , they are only colleagues , work and friends sometimes don't work anyway . Loneliness is the worse feeling in the world or one off, one I experance daily ATM . But you can only help yourself darling , I know it may be hard to motivate yourself but it will get you to where you want to be . People experance dark times in life I know I'm there now it's a shock . But please help yourself as we as a community can only give you guidance.

    Things will work out , times the hard bit but I'm sure you'll see light soon

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  • Posted

    Hi Terri

    Like Gillian20097 has said please don't take this personally, working with lots of woman is not always the best choice as they can be very unwelcoming epecially if you don't fit the norm.  I struggled to fit in at school and probably in my first few jobs as I had horrible acne right into my twenties.   I was self conscious of it all the time and some people even adults were very rude about it.  Sometimes you just need to find your own way of meeting new people and join a class outwith work.  I work in a local library and we run a number of classes for all interests.  Go along even to your local library and find out whats going on in your area.  Yes it can intimidating at first and yes I still find it difficult to mix with people but sometimes you just got to go with it and see what happens, just starting a conversation with someone was something I struggled with because I was afraid that I would sound stupid but honestly I've not came across that yet!

    If your colleagues at work don't speak then that is there loss not yours, you don't want to be friends with people like that anyway.  Continue your friendship with the ones who you seem to bond with already and show the others regardless of whether they speak or not that it isn't bothering you (even though it might for a bit) but they don't need to know that.  Things will get better just keep you chin held heigh and remember in this life there is no one better than anyone else regardless of position, financial status or looks.  We are all individuals with lots to offer.

    Gillian xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Terry!  I have just found this forum. I am totally blind, and when i worked, my coleagues treated me just the same.  When they were arranging nights out they would never include me, and if they did, they used to make me feel so small!   It got so bad that the doc signed me on sick leave with a nervous breakdown.  How are you now?  Val.
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