lonely

Posted , 4 users are following.

damn i am so lonely i really want a cuddle it is not all about the sex thing just some comfort some affectionate emotion, my hert is breaking 

2 likes, 9 replies

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    I empathize. And, I'm sorry, but I think that's all anyone can do. My heart has been breaking day by day, every day, since May of 1997. A year and some months of grief, every day. I can't help you. There is no one who can help you. If anything, that is the one thing that I have learned from the past almost 20 years. The very best that anyone can do is empathize and listen to you. Don't underestimate the ability of the latter in being somewhat cathartic occasionally. A "help" of some sort, sometimes. I can't do the "group" therapy thing, and I don't believe that anyone who has not suffered this can ever understand. Medication works a bit. But it can't lay beside you and stroke your arm with fingers entwined as you talk. Or speak to you with lips breathing into your ears. A "cuddle" is far too much to ask, and sex is the last thing that I miss about intimacy.  That's what I want. Not sex. I want an intimacy that knows how I'm feeling, that knows the physical touch that I desire, that I need. It's not sex at all. I want to be held by someone who knows my inmost nature. Maybe with the familiarity of an old lover who has remained a friend.I've thought about this a lot of late. I, too, have a desire to touch. It is the most common desire for those who are dying feel. I feel no complusion to commit suicide - I simply want to die.

    Years ago - twelve years ago - I had a friend who had been a love since high school who understood this need to touch. She had known me well and she came over ans spent the night. We touched, a few kisses, and talked throughout the night. She knew me so well. She had known me for so LONG - she knew me; my joys and sorrows, my strengths and weaknesses. I felt better when she left the next morning. She hadn't solved any problems, but she had made me a little less heart-broken... maybe because I knew, without her saying, that she still loved me. That, had I asked, she would have married me. I didn't feel good when she had said, "You know that you broke my heart, don't you?" It made me sad to know that I had once had the ability to break the heart of another. It made me sad that I had not married her - or found someone enough like her to marry.

    Unless you're as lucky as I was, back then, to have such an understanding old friend, I don't know what to say to assuage a someone who is in a state of being heart broken. You need more than just human touch - I came close, back then, to hiring an "escort" to satisfy that need, but it wouldn't have worked.

    For me, years have passed and I can no longer call that old friend. Things changed over the past 13 years and circumstances are so much different, simpler, back then.

    But if you can think of anyone in your life? They may be worth a call/message/whatever.

    Good luck.

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    • Posted

      Perhaps you are one of the few guys who understands, but very few men do as they seem more self-sufficient emotionally than women and tend to confuse affection for a come on. ,,,I am 66 trapped in a marriage that fulfils nothing for me emotionally......suffered depression and anxiety all my life...which is at its peak because of a difficult health problem which could kill me anytime but can't be resolved and STILL I get no real affection!
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    • Posted

      from my point of veiw it seems Crazy that some one can be married and not feel effection. surly a marrage is based appon understanding and intemate love. he must be a little selfish, have you tried to talk to him and explain ?
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  • Posted

    I believe that my post is being moderated becuase I used the "s" or the "d" word. If so, I did not mean them as being as in support of them! Hopefully, the words will be deleted and the remainder of my post published.

    Sorry, and I hope that, if my post comes through, you might think about my suggestion.

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    • Posted

      hey man yeah i got your post. nice of you to post such a detailed response it is sad how ;ife takes us in such directions.  yes you are right sex is not the all end all and be all, yes it is nice to shair your body with an other but it means more to shair your mind with an other. how bloody sad is thing i was hugging a damn blanket to fall asleep last night hoping it would be a substitute for a person, not sure it helped but i did sleep better than normal. hope you are well
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