Lonely and scared

So sorry you're having a hard time. You mention Social Security, so do you live in the U.S.? If so, you are absolutely entitled to Social Security disability. I was able to obtain it years ago when I became ill. When I first applied, I was denied out of hand. They said this was common and even usual practice. (For shame!) Then I appealed the case. Certain areas in the U.S. permit this. If your area does not permit it, you need to hire a disability attorney who specializes in Social Security cases. For my appeals process, in addition to their application or whatever they required, I wrote a letter describing my condition and my typical day. Then, and here's the important part, I had my rheumatologist write a letter. My case was then approved. I have quite a severe case of ME/CFS. I'm housebound and can't do any activity, so I've had to reinvent myself. There's a lot of sedendary stuff that I can do thaat doesn't wipe me out. I read lots of great novels, read the newspaper and follow politics closely, watch movies every day, and listen to many kinds of music. I also get on the computer and explore the Internet a lot. I enjoy ethnic food, so I try verious cuisines. Of course, my husband has to bring the food home to me. I've dealt with a lot of anxiety. What works best for me is meditation. I practice a totally secular form of it. I took a free, six-week online meditation course called "Palouse Mindfulness." The meditation has worked better than any medication I used to take. All is definitely not sunshine and roses, though. This illness will test the coping strategies of anyone. Best of luck to you.

I too gave up an extremely well paid to deal with my illness. I am on my own so I had no other income and was living off my savings. Decided not to bother with DWP as they would tell me I had too much money.

what I found helped was taking all the stress out of life so I could pace myself. My GP kept telling me to,pace and that was what I did. Do a bit, rest, then Do a bit more. Learn to say No to preserve energy and slowly I made progress.

as for the financial side I seriously looked at my finances and ditched all the extras. Do I have to have sat tv. Change the mobile phone contract to as low as possible. Go in the supermarket at the end of the day and buy the stuff they are selling off cheap.mgo to Aldi & Lidl. If you have children sit down and plain to,them that money is tight and no after school clubs, they need to make do with what they have. 

The one piece of advice my parents gave to me was always pay the rent or mortgage. It's no good have food to eat if you have no where to sleep.

i wish you well and know how hard it is to adjust but it's amazing how little I am now living on and without that stress I am moving forward 

Hi Ravenwood,

I know it's scary right now but, quitting work is a huge step for you and a good first step. Money is a worry when you have cfs/me but, you need to rest and work towards recovery. I know you're not In the UK and social security is different with you so, listen to Jackie's experience and get help filing In any forms. Supply much info as possible. As wknight states, cut things to minimum where you can. I explained to my mortgage provider that I couldn't pay the amount at present and they were understanding. Utility companies are often the same. Do you have an advice bureau where they help people who need advice on things like this? Cfs/me is a disability and thus it needs to be presented thusly. Do not be fobbed off. I understand as many here do how hard It is to give up work and how ill It has to feel to do it.

Be good to yourself

Best wishes

B

Dear Ravenwood 

I'm in a similar situation to wknight, although very much at the stage of giving up work.  I run my own business which has been badly effected since this as well as the earlier issue.  I'm also a work a holic and the frustration is at epic levels that I cannot be the man who I am inside. 

Similar to wknight I've savings which should last me a little while and his advise is good, both his and his parents.  

Financial concern is a huge contribution to anxiety and not knowing the future as well as not having the health to do anything about it, should surely be contributing to the issue.  Many people sware by councilling with regards to anxiety and in many cases it helps, but ultimately if the issue is financial I cannot see how it helps. 

Outlets are so important as Jackie said.  Reading books when you can, I've just started being able to do that and remember what I've been reading (progress) 

Trying to make you feel good, set goals and accomplish them always helps with me.  

I know that I wish I could do more and be the person that I once was, letting go is the hardest thing to do. 

Right now I'm trying to explore other avenues to bring in a revenue. I dont think I'll be able to find employment with this condition so I need to take charge while I can.  

Its tiring - but at least it keeps me busy in a non physical draining sence.  Progress is slow but I can see the end goal. 

do I feel anxiety or depressed, not esspecially.  I have a few worries natrually but if I wasnt looking to make the best of the situation I honestly think that I would start feeling depression and anxiety. 

What is also important to remember is what works for one may not always work for another. 

hope this helps 

Andy x

Hi, 

I write as someone who has been through 10 years of severe ME and returned to a full and active life. So my first point:

Be positive you will get through it. 

2. During the second half of my illness, I took an OU degree. They were very helpful and I took my exams at home with an invigilator. 

3. However bad it gets, stay positive (easily said I know but it is very important).

4. When things get so bad it seems as though there is no answer think radical I have always found it works for me and my family.

5. Depending on your skills there are lots of real employment opportunities on the internet why not think about joining us on the Gig economy take a look at Elance, or Upworker to name a couple.

The very best of luck

David

I do have one suggestion to relieve the boredom when you don't feel up to doing anything. I took correspondence courses when i was in a similar position. I would stagger to school with my kids, then stagger home again and put my feet up on the sofa with my studies, which could be done at my own pace. They don't have to cost anything, either because futurelearn (Google it) now offer free on-line courses in a wide range of topics, with no exams to take. Learning something new keeps your mind occupied and gives you a sense of achievement. I've done quite a few courses with them. I hope that helps. Pixie xx