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Long, but I am so depressed, I need comfort

Posted , 6 users are following.

kelsey1994
kelsey1994

About a week ago, it all started with what I thought was tears from rough sex, he is bigger (not well lubricated either) There was a burning/itching sensation so I naturally itched it, which then led me to be believe I had just irritated the tears more.. it would also burn the "tear" closest to my opening when I'd urinate, which I just assumed was because it was a new wound.. a couple days later I have TONS of discharge, watery, like a light green/yellow, strong fishy smell, just foul. So I get to googling things which eventually led me here. Now the three original sores are now healing/healed and I now have a cluster of blister like bumps by my vaginal opening. The area is sore. Some have popped, but it seems like more just keep showing up. I was nauseous at work about 2 weeks ago to the point where I threw up and had to be sent home. No other flu like symptoms other than that. In the last 2 years I've had 2 sexual partners. The most recent one has been the same guy for the past 5 months and we have sex regularly, 4 times a week. How likely is it that he gave me HSV2? Or could it have been dormant in my system and is just now rearing its ugly head???! I'm completely devastated. I got lab work done this morning. I already know what it is, I was in denial at first hoping it was just because of the rough sex or even a bad case of BV causing me to have sores...I even went as far to consider it being contact dermatitis because I can't imagine having herpes...I feel like my life is over. I want so badly for it to be negative, but the signs and symptoms are clearly there. I havent stopped crying, the guy said there's no way he has it and if he does I gave it to him. I feel so gross, I hate having to walk with this between my legs, it hurts and I feel like I just make it worse... my heart is just so broken 😦 what can i do to make it better? to help heal the sores or even get the to run their course faster? I know if I actually am positive, I'll get put on meds but I need help now...I cant believe I will have this for the rest of my life. My period is also late, neg pregnancy test.

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • kelsey1994
    kelsey1994

    Posted

    first pic is when it first started, 2nd pic is currently by my vaginal opening

  • anabel71191
    anabel71191 kelsey1994

    Posted

    I'm sorry that you're going through this, but you're not alone and tons of people experience herpes (they just dont talk about it). I think its just hard to swallow the idea of having something "for life", but you need to put things in perspective. its literally just a skin condition and everyone who has sex is at risk of contracting it since its SO COMMON. this world is literally fd up to make people feel so sy about themselves for having a few blisters. stay strong, youll be surprised as to how many people have it around you. youll get through it in some time and realize that life goes on and this really isnt important. Also to me it sounds like he mightve given to you and is asymptomatic OR Its HSV1 contracted through oral sex. Did you have a swab done on a blister?

    • kelsey1994
      kelsey1994 anabel71191

      Edited

      Thank you for your reply, I did not have a swab done, I actually ordered lab work online, figured that be the most accurate? I'm terrified to read the results that its positive, but I already know that's what they will be. I feel like I cant even kiss my kid goodnight, feel like I have to disinfect the whole bathroom so I'm not putting anyone at risk.

  • Help22
    Help22 kelsey1994

    Posted

    Hi kelsey, i just wanted to say i know exactly how you are feeling right now. i contracted hsv 1 about 6 months ago when i left my boyfriend give me oral sex when he had a cold sore (worst mistake of my life but hey ho) about about 3 days later i had my first outbreak which was just horrific. it started with the worst itching ever and a couple of days later i had about 10 big weeping sores down there. i remember thinking my life was over too, i couldnt walk, pee or sleep without crying from the constant pain but i got a 5 day course of aciclovir and it eventually cleared up. i havent had any other issues until now, i have been off work with really bad flu and started to get some bad itching down there and now i have about 4 blisters. the second outbreak is nowhere near as bad as the first, which is what most people will say. since your tests haven't come back yet you might even find out that it isnt herpes. your sores look quite shallow and dry so it could even be something else. but if it is herpes PLEASE don't feel like this is the end of life as you know it. despite a painful inconvenience a few times a year your life will be the same! you are still you. my life hasnt changed at all, my boyfriend doesnt think anything of it as he is the one that gave it to me he really isnt bothered. anyway ive got some tips for you that i have found to be the most helpful when trying to clear up the sores and help them dry up.

    1- try to get a week off work if you can, being able to stay at home and rest will make you feel so much better and having the time to properly bathe the sores will speed up the process.

    1. pee in the bath/shower or pour a jug/bottle of water over your vagina as you pee (this stops it feeling like acid)

    2. wear very loose clothes in the day and night- i literally stay at home for 4 days in nothing but a baggy tshirt as its best for the sores to have air on them, they will dry up quicker

    3. when you bath, just use some salt or tea tree oil

    4. the best way i have found to clear up the sores is to get some cotton wool and a small bowl of warm water, i put 6 drops of tea tree oil in there (its an antiseptic which will help clear the sores and stop them spreading) and then i wet the cotton ball and just gently bathe the sores in that. i do it about 6 times a day, and then i sit with my legs open in front of a fan all day while watching tv

    5. get some medication, take antivirals for herpes (aciclovir) as soon as you get the symptoms and dose up on pain relief for the swelling. i also take lysine 1000mg twice a day when the outbreak starts (its meant to fight the herpes off)

    6. try to relax and remember that this is just something that will become a part of your life now, the only person that knows is my boyfriend and he honestly couldn't care less. im quite a private person so i havent felt the need to tell any family or friends but if you need support then they will probably be more understanding than you think. this website is amazing, it honestly got me through my first outbreak because there is thousands of people all going through the same thing as you

    please feel free to message me if you have any questions, but try to relax and take care of yourself, i know it feels like the end of the world but i promise you it isn't xx

    • kelsey1994
      kelsey1994 Help22

      Posted

      you are truly wonderful, honestly thank you for giving me your routine...i put gauze on the sores for now with bandaids to soak up whatever they ooze, figured that would help a little with not spreading but I dont like keeping it covered because i want them to breath. My heart just aches so badly because I should have been smarter. Shoulda coulda woulda i guess 😦

    • kelsey1994
      kelsey1994 natalie48764

      Posted

      the spot it's in I have no choice 😦 itll rub raw if I dont keep something covering it. the gauze covers it, the bandaid just hold it in place. I hate the feeling of this

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