long ttc, surrogacy after 6 MCs

Posted , 7 users are following.

This thread is cry of my heart. This is hope that someday I'll see my own baby. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Recently I had a miscarriage. I had 6 MCs in general. Unfortunately there is no chance for me to carry a baby. But this can be done by another woman. That's why it would be very helpful to hear your experience. What should I look for? What difficulties did you face? If you know or heard about agencies or clinics please share with me. We are ready to go abroad. Thank you in advance!

0 likes, 6 replies

Report / Delete

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello dear! What happened to you is really sad. I’m sorry you had to go through MCs. I believe it’s something no one should suffer from. I’m in the same boat. I’ve been doing my research about surrogacy for a couple of months already. I don’t have experience as I just started my search. I hope this option will give me and my husband a chance to have children. I think the difficulties mostly depend on a country you are planning to go. Many of clinics ask for the paper from your doctor which shows you really can’t safely carry a child. I advise you to look around and do your own research. So you can feel more secure when you make your choice. Take your time and don’t rush. Pay attention to each detail. Also don’t try to search a surrogate mother on your own. There are many scammers who pretend to be surrogates. I hope this info will help you a bit.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I'm so sorry about everything you are going through. I'm sorry you faced fertility issues. I have immune issues. I’m not able to get pregnant naturally. We were advised to use an egg donor. Now I'm pregnant with twins. We are preparing for the delivery. My babies will be born in a couple of weeks. Surrogacy doesn’t seem scarring to me. You just have to be sure that your surrogate is healthy, without any bad habits and has at least one healthy baby born in natural way. All this information should be performed by a clinic. I also had multiple miscarriages. I wish you best of luck and feel free to ask questions.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hello dear OP! I'm so sorry about your losses. I'm in the same boat. Unfortunately, many of us have to turn to the services of surrogate mothers. The problem exists and you really get lost and don't know where to start. My husband and I had the experience of using surrogacy. Unfortunately it was unsuccessful. Both pregnancies of our sm ended with MCs on 7th and 8th week. The reason is hard to find, and sometimes impossible. Causes of failures can be different. When everything is fine, then you are happy with everything, the clinic, doctors and services. And when everything ends up with a failure, you blame everyone in the world, including yourself. After the miscarriages of our surrogate I blamed our clinic and doctors. We used Indian clinic when it was still opened for foreigners. There were many falls and only now I understand I should have paid more attention to them and just leave... I blame myself the most. But back in 2010 there wasn't so much information, I was young and naive. It was my first experience and after our failed ttc I was blinded with such option. At that time I felt like we finally found hope and our surrogacy will help us to become parents for sure. But I was wrong.

    We decided not to contact agencies. They have high fees. Also I believe that agencies only find clinics and they do rest of work. So why pay more if you can contact clinics directly. Therefore, we searched for a clinic which would help pick up and provide surrogate mother.

    Ask your clinic to provide all the tests of your sm so that you can see for yourself that she's healthy. If you go abroad for the procedure, the clinic should provide you with legal assistance and help to prepare all contracts, documents for your baby, etc.

    I'm not an expert so I told you everything I know for now. I'm looking for a clinic again. My husband and I want to try surrogacy one more time. I hope this one will end up with us having a baby.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thank you for sharing this story with us! This is so inspiring. You didn't lose hope and kept going. I know how hard it is not to give up when your face infertility. I had cancer of a uterus. There is no chance for me to carry a baby. My depression almost killed me. I thought that life is over and nothing in this world can make me happy. I'm so grateful to my husband who supported me. I hope our journey will start as soon as possible! Such stories give me so much inspiration! Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    oh boy 6 m/c is way too much I believe. how do you feel? I bet it's not easy to handle this. But what is the reason for multiple m/c? haven't you tried ivf with pgd pgs? If I'm not mistaken, it's a chance to check if your embryos are ready to be transfer, I mean if there are no abnormalities which may cause m/c as well. surrogacy seems to be the last resort, I would try everything before doing surrogacy. You better find a decent fertility specialist who is able to find reason for your miscarriages

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Alison.

    It really painful to read your story (I understand your feelings…. My husband and I had been trying unsuccessfully for 4 years to get pregnant. We were what doctors said ‘unexplained infertility’. We had numerous tests including meds, scans every month, blood tests every week - the list went on, with still no explanation as to why we still weren’t pregnant. I spend days and nights crying all the time. I had 5 rounds of IVF treatment and trio pf them were ended by miscarriages. One day we decided that it was enough to waste a money. And agreed that surrogacy was the best option for us. And we made it in Ukraine. We choose Kiev because of the legal part and the price (we have paid around 30k euros). What I am trying to say is that you always can have a children and it doesn’t matter how she/he was born.

    Best wishes

     

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up