Looking for Reassurance Making Things Worse?

Posted , 6 users are following.

We're obviously all in these forums to be there for each other and help each other out in difficult times that we all are dealing with or have dealt with in the past.

My question to everyone is do you think it is good or bad to post in here when you have a problem or difficult times. I seem to fall in the same trap in a lot of places online whenever I feel down or I'm having a tough day that I end up posting about it and it becomes an endless cycle of looking for reassurance all the time which I've come to think makes things worse because I do it over and over instead of just dealing with problems on my own. I know these forums definitely have there place but I think they can also be detrimental to us getting better unfortunately.

Just wanted to see what some different opinions of some of the people who actually know what it feels like to go through depression and anxiety everyday like myself. Thanks for any info or reply in advance!

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    I originally came on here because my pastor had advised me to journal daily. I found it difficult to do that as my situation was stagnant. I came here to sort of journal but get feedback.

    What i find helpful is knowing I am not alone. It doesn't have to turn into a pity party but rather an exchange of encouragment or advice.

    Also, i think it is a bad idea to talk to people in your life about your problems too much. If they havent experienced depression they dont get it and never will. Ultimately you will drive them away.  I know from experience.

    Also I made a friend here who I now talk to regularly.

    I also suggest exercise and diet as starters to fight depression.

    I am Christian and if someone is not opposed I also think spirtual growth helps too.

    good luck

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  • Posted

    Absolutely, looking for reassurance is a symptom of anxiety, especially health anxiety, but it's one of the most damaging things we can do. Not least because it never ever works. Someone doesn't believe a Dr who has years of training and hood intentions, but they think the opinion of a stranger - who may too have good intentions - is somehow better. Sadly this often has to be learned the hard way, because try telling someone who is seeking endless reassurance....they won't thank you for it, and won't believe you anyways. There are many threads in here showing it to be true

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    • Posted

      I agree with you and I can't believe what I've turned myself into by always looking for reassurance or looking stuff up on the internet, I need to find a way out of this vicious cycle but I've forgotten what it's like to actually just go through a day without doing the same stuff that makes me worse. It's like a damn addiction with me anymore and it's turned my life upside down..

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  • Posted

    I agree some what with you.  But, if you are not getting help from your doctor, you need to reach out.  And, don't know if it is reassurance but rather looking for someone who is dealing with like side effects and knowing that you are not alone.  Maybe it gives people self-assurance to know that you are not alone.  But, I do think that you can scan alot of these threads and it is a waste of time.  Better to look on prope websites that are accredited.

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    • Posted

      For someone like me it's just becomes unhealthy nancyew but I understand how it is helpful for a lot of people. Constantly looking up info on the internet just gets me worked up and looking for reassurance all the time prevents me from just trying to live as normal a life I can.

      I do see a good doctor who is very helpful I just need to learn to take his advice and stick to the plans I'm given to try to get where I need to be and stop the internet searches..

      Thanks for the replies and I wish you guys the best of luck moving forward!

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    • Posted

      No, if your not getting help from a Dr then you complain and get a new dr. But people don't do that because they know it's not that they aren't getting help, they just refuse to take it , then they look for validation from strangers to prove themselves correct. It's all part of the anxiety, but it's also very unhealthy and shouldnt be encouraged

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I hint it all depends on the individual and just what they are looking for.

    If I have a bad day I know I am not alone, this can reassure me that I am therefore not abnormal, which depression and anxiety can make you feel.

    If on the other hand you are looking for none stop sympathy then yes any site of a simular ilk which constantly fills a void can be unhelpful in the long run.

    Any site where a person suffering mental/physical problems for the first time can be a font of knowledge and answer and assure many questions we may have, but the GP cannot devote enough time when we go to them.

    As the saying goes:to much of anything can be unhealthy.

    Mike.

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    • Posted

      Agreed Mike and it is definitely too much in my case as I'm not looking for reassurance too much but I'm constantly looking up information on the internet that I already know. I'm in search of that elusive magic cure for depression and anxiety when I'm the answer and I need to beat this on my own and listen to my doctors advice and leave it at that.

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