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Hi everyone . After reading u guys will know that u r reading a useless post from a useless man. First up i am 22 years old and i have passed out of graduate degree and i have just joined a company . I have been depressed about myself before but from past few months i am feeling a lot more depressed about myself. First up i think i am really dumb, i cannot really understand anything at once , i have to continously think about it. I am not a good analyser of things.I sometimes dont even recognize the routes that i have been travelling.i forget thinks easily.You guys will be surprised to know that i cant even ride a bicycle properly. I am a very scared of literally everything.i have social anxiety . I always think about what other people will think about me and i am always scared to talk to other people.Sometimes when i am with my friends i just become very silent as i dont know what topic to talk. i am sure that people dont care about my presence as i am not a very entertaining person.i am not really a very interesting person. Thats why i dont have many friends.i have never had any girlfriend in my life. i can actually give a count of how many times i have talked to girls.even i feel the same thing with my relatives. Till now i have only got 2-3 gifts in my life while my sister has got lots of gifts from my relatives.this just implies that even in my family nobody likes me. I am totally deprived of love. i am very anxious person. even my colleagues always tell me that i do things in a hurry and i take too much tension literally about everything.Whenver i talk to people i dont use my brain , i just spit out everything that comes out from my mouth.people sometimes dont understand what i am talking about.Also i need to mention this that i am very lazy. I also feel that i am not good at anything.i have no talents.Also i am a short man 156cm, sometimes i feel very bad about this.i have very low self esteem.i fell i am totally alone. I kind of talk to myself very often usually scolding myself.i day dream a lot. i dream that i have done some great things and people like me a lot but honestly i havent put any real world effort towards anything. Also my spoken english is bad. i always dream about having girlfriends and spending time with them . Also i believe that i watch lots of porn. i know that i am a total loser and i totally hate myself. i dont know y i wrote all this over here but i am really sorry if i have wasted  your time.i am not hoping that something good will happen to me in future , but just wanted to share this to someone.

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  • Posted

    Hi Rahul,

    I have been feeling like this myself, for a long time now. Since I was 17 and am now months off of being 21.

    I know I can't tell you how to feel but trust me, it can get better and there are people out there to help you.

    There are people that are willing to speak to you, guide you on the right path.

    Are you currently on any anti-depressants as that might just take the edge off for you?

    Dreaming is your way of escaping.

    I find that if I am in a very bad state, snapping an elastic band normally gives me the sharp shock and brings me back to reality.

    Please don't feel alone, you're far from it.

    All the luck for the future & I wish you all the luck, please post your progress.


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  • Posted

    Hi you don't have to do great things in life for people to like you - people like you because you are you.   

    If you are useless then I guess most of us are too.   You can't be intellecturally thick if you are a graduate.  You are just like the rest of us,  good at some things and rubbish at others.   That travelling a route thing strikes a bell with me coz I am like that coz I lack visual spacial abilities.  It's not because you are thick or I am it just means we are crap at navigation.   We all have our special abilities and talents as we all have things we find very difficult to do.  This is because we are human and not perfect.   

    You have got friends who obviously like you coz they wouldn't bother with you otherwise.   My advice on find a girl friend is just to treat them like normal people ie as a potential friend and not as a potential gf.   Many women love the strong silent type and men who make them laugh.   I do.    All women aren't the same you know as all men aren't,  we are all different which is just as well because it would be a boring life if we were wouldn't it?   

    Do you think you have depression?  Have you been to the doctors?  They should be able to help you.     x

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  • Posted

    Hi Rahul, Stop beating yourself up. You sound like a normal guy to me. We can't all be Don Jon (famous womaniser) while having the brain of a rocket scientist born to save the world. Its extra hard when you are shy and have a low self confidance. Have you spoken to a gp and maybe looked into councilling? There are also life couching courses which are good for building general self confidance up (one I done helped me anyway).

    Girls... what can I say, they can be an enigma! lol but Really they are just like us guys (maybe a little less ego though). They have loads of insecurities to and a lot of girls find it really hard to talk to guys. Any way in my experiance, women like a normal guy, not some over confident jock who loves himself more than his lady.​Look, the next time you go to a shop and buy some thing just say hello, you dont need to say anything else, just hello. You may be surprised at how many checkout girls say hi back.

    As for the porn, well whats too much? some people will say any while others will say never too much. Whatever you think just remember it is not real. That is not sex and I have never met a girl that liked it that way. Its about as close to reality as a superman film if you get my meaning. 

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  • Posted

    It gets better.  I am 57 now, but I was just like you in my twenties, sort of froze up and couldn't talk.  Sounds like you've got depression and anxiety, haveyou seen a doc about it?  They can do lots to help.  Don't scold yourself, don't beat yourself up, as soon as you catch yourself doing this, couneract it by saying to yourself "rahul you are beautiful, I love and approve of you, you are lovable just because you are you".  Have you tried positive affirmations?  Don't worry about being short, you're taller than me! I'm 152cm  my sister is only 148cm.  Dont' worry about the porn too much, you'll probably grow out of it.  Also real women aren't like the women in the porn.  If you are worried about you're spoken English perhaps you could try elocution lessons?  It worked for lots of BBC presenters back in the 1960's when the beeb didn't like regional accent.  YOU ARE NOT A LOSER, you must try counter this thought, with I AM A WINNER!!!
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  • Posted

    I'm 46 and wasn't diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and clinical depression for 19 years(15-34), as back in 1983 there was no awareness, computers, etcetera!...too much to say about those hell hell years!!!

     Be thankful you have been diagnosed early and that you can post on health forums and hopefully get better sooner rather than later!


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  • Posted

    Dear rahul, please, please. Never ever think that you are a loser....all the advice already given on here is excellent.....

    I was exactly the same as you ( I am a female ) then one day....after very many years of misery, I thought... people soon forget if they think that I am foolish, and as for many others, I will never see them again.... as long as we never hurt anyone else, we can hold our heads up high..

    Just be YOURSELF you may be surprised how much easier life gets and

    You will feel so much more relaxed and comfortable...

    No one is perfect, so accept yourself and stop worrying about others,

    Good luck young man, take care... DEIRDRE xx

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