Lorazepam (Ativan) at lower than average dose.
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Hi. I've been having anxiety/panic attacks for about 10 years now. 4 years ago after being in the hospital more times than I can count and losing my last job due to this, I finally went to a doctor. I have tried over 20 different medications, SSRIs, Muscle Relaxers, Hydroxyzine and Buspirone, and even Bipolar meds. Last August my grandmother passed away and left about 70, 0.5 mg lorazepam. Desperate, not knowing what else to do (Seemed like my doctor and psychiatrist weren't helping at all), I decided to try it after research. I started out at 0.5 mg a day with breaks in between, maybe a day to a couple days. The shear amount of relief was shocking. Literally, everything in my body and mind started functioning properly, even all the way down to my bowl movements. After about 20 days of no heart palpitations, muscle spasms, twitching or jerks, low to no irritability, clear mind, and able to breathe once again, I started exercising for the first time in almost 10 years. During the time I was taking it, I had to wait over 3 months to see a new psychiatrist. I told her about it and I don't know if she didn't hear me or just brushed passed it because that was never going to happen, but she ended up saying she thinks I have Bipolar disorder and prescribed me my second Bipolar med I've taken, Lamotrigine. I was out of Ativan by then so like the other countless meds before, I gave it a shot. It was probably up there with the worst week of my life, having 2-6 panic attacks a day that lasted hours, with the last couple days bedridden and taking 5+ showers (Flowing water relaxes me). After I quit that my doctor finally gave in and let me have 30, 0.5 mg, saying it was temporary. Again, I started at 0.5 mg a day, this time no breaks in between. After a week it started to feel like a bit much. So I reduced it down to 1, 0.5 mg one day, then 0.25 the next 2 days with one day off. That worked much better but ended up feeling like I didn't need the 0.25 for 2 days (As the effect was barely noticeable). So, I ended on 1, 0.5 mg every 2 to 7 days, depending on how I was feeling.
Now, my doctor won't give me anymore. I've done a lot of research on this med, as I do with any med I take. The worst aspect of it is it's addictive nature. However, at 0.5 mg every 2 to 7 days, I feel like that's negated. Withdrawal symptoms typically start around 24 hours to 2 days after abruptly quitting. I never feel any withdrawal symptoms other than feeling like I used to, which can either start 2 days after or up to a week (Depending on stress, mood, and overall how I'm feeling), hence the period I take it. Most of the studies I looked at were of people taking 1 to 2 mg DAILY. Even the adverse cognitive effects were primarily tested in elderly people of 65+. But, behold, I'm no doctor and am probably missing something.
My Questions:
Is 0.5 mg every 2 to 7 days of Lorazepam (Ativan), as needed for anxiety/panic attacks, bad for you, short and/or long term?
If it is, short and/or long term at the dose proposed, how so?
Is there any other medication/s that act in a very similar fashion to Ativan?
To be clear, I hate taking medications as it makes me anxious. Even 15 minutes before Ativan kicks in I feel nervous and fearful. I mainly wanted this short term, like 6 months at the dose I described to help get my life back together. 2 days ago was my first day of not having a single cigarette in years. Yesterday I only had one. In 2 months I went from a pack and a half (30 smokes) a day to less then half a pack a day. I took my last Ativan 4 days ago and this morning I had a pretty bad anxiety attack, mainly because I'm starting to worry about the smoking thing and now I don't have an "emergency" anxiety reliever. I just don't know what to do. The one thing that works I can't have and that... is beyond frustrating.
Sorry about the long read, my mind is racing at the moment, 😛.
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