Lorazepam....Reluctantly

I go back and fourth about it constantly. I hate giving in to meds as well but sometimes I feel as if I can't function this way. If you can keep it under control that well don't feel bad abt it. I had a chemical dependance at one time so I am afraid of meds but wish I could take them most of the time.

"is anyone else in a similar predicament?"

I was whenever I was asked to start a course of mirtazapine in 2006. I say, "I was asked" purely because  (as in the hospital I voluntarily admitted myself to) made the environment so unfavourable for me that it left me with no other alternative. The reality was, they just couldn't be bothered to discuss anything with me about my problems, or tips and advice. That 'short term course' lasted 5 years. I was very, very strong and lucky to get off them when I could but they've left their mark, for sure.

Anyway, to put that into some context with what you're saying - regardless of how easy you feel benzodiazepines are to get off, the fact is you say "I've been able to start and stop the drug a few times in the past" which says to me:

1. they are the default coping mechanism

2. there is an element of dependance there

3. you lack skills to be able to cope without medication

Lorazepam, I found, to be addictive 20 minutes after I took my first one. Not that it really was physiologically, but the effects truly left me feeling amazing. It was completely unhelpful in the fact that after spending 7 years up to that point, utterly overcome with tension and anxiety, a single drug took it all away in minutes and I was practically a vegetable; mouth wide open, staring at a ceiling, no tension whatsoever. It was beautiful.

Name me one person who'd not want that feeling?

You also say this:

"I need to take something to help manage the daily physical symptoms of my anxiety so that I can focus on the other, long-term treatments (therapy, exercise, mindfulness)"

That's defeating the object. If you take lorazepam, you won't feel anxiety therefore you won't be able to tell whether or not it's the medication helping you or the therapy, exercise and mindfulness. For instance, a therapist could ask how you're getting on with the exercises and you could say, "oh they're great!" when in reality the only reason you're feeling great is because of the lorazepam. It's not an accurate way of determining whether or not the care they provide is right for you.

Hi. Omg never think yourself weak because of anxiety flair UPS. I just had the worst disaster with myself and I think we are too hard on ourselves especially speaking for myself recently my parents are stressed, upset over this as they don't understand or know what to do. And me I feel guilty for having this because of what it does to those close to me. You just can't pull yourself together, it doesn't work that way. I take meds but very minimal after recently and Zoloft affecting my throat and it tightened and I was out and had to run to ER. This wears me out. Remind yourself of your good qualities and all the good you do in life no matter how bad it gets. Therapy and meditation I do on a regular basis. I walk. I like quiet time. Music I love.😊

Back to the ativan thing. First its the only ned which ever helped me. I take only .50 am and pm. Gp thinks its ok. The psychiatry Dr. Says I need off. What's the big deal about this ativan? The pharmacist even said that's low compared to other people am I missing something?