Losing my sense of love and interest in life
Posted , 4 users are following.
So I will have been with my boyfriend for 10 months soon and things have been going well until recently. I have been getting extreme mood swings and attention seeking ( sometimes even suicidal ) tendencies. My parents chalked up the former as me being a 16 year old girl but this is not my issue, or at least i dont think so.
I absolutely love my boyfriend and think the world of him. He is perfect. I have however been engaging in more and more self indulgent and attention seeking behaviours. I would get upset if he didn't reply to my messages or would disappear mid conversation (which i havent gotten upset over in ages). I always used to get a sort of warmth in my chest whenever he said something cute. I know this sounds like i have fallen out of this crush/love stage, and i understand why some might think that. However, i still get these tiny feelings of warmth when i think about him or see him smile. My issue is that i have also stopped feeling similarly towards my idol, a singer called Daesung. I used to adore him and his music and used to get so happy when i saw his face. Now i just think its a normal face.
In a few dreams i had a few nights ago i even thought of me dying by suicide and accepting it - in a scarily calm manner, sometimes even anticipating it. And this has happened quite a few times over the span of last week.
I fear this is a sign of depression or paranoid personality disorder. I have had signs of depression and grief before, as a family member of mine died not too long ago. I have also had signs of paranoid personality disorder.
2 likes, 2 replies
Patient Anonchan
Posted
Hi Anonchan
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient
borderriever Anonchan
Posted
You are very young and first love is a pur love you will never have again as you will become more rational with age.
You will feel the anguish of loosing someone you thing a great deal of and that will unsettle you and cause mood changes because you are not with Him at that time. Enjoy your time together, understand your intensive feelings and act accordingly.
With regard the Pop Singer you enjoy, that is a different situation, you have little chance of a relationship there and I feel you may be disappointed if you were too meet
We all go through periods like above when young, it is all part of getting older and making your own way in the near future.
If you feel the need to talk you can come here and people will help or contact the Samaritans. If your fears are severe you can call NHS Information Line on Tel 111, they will try and help you.
Good Luck
BOB