Losing the will to live.

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I know I shouldn't complain, other people are worse off, but I'm so depressed. Last year my leg pain was so severe I could barely move, I couldn't sit, stand, walk, without being in excruciating pain, so spent most of my time on my knees... I had a discectomy on my l4 l5, the difference was amazing, I didn't get the chance I needed to recover so my disc has re herniated, and now I've got pain in both legs, no weakness but lots of numbness. The pain is getting worse and worse, I take morphine, gabapentin, methocarbamol, amytriptalin, and paracetamol. I have been referred back for more surgery, no letter to see the surgeon to make a plan as of yet. I'm so scared, I've got 3 children to care for, my husband and works full time and helps where he can, otherwise I have no help. I guess I dont have a question, I just need to talk to people who know what I am going through

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi sinead

    Sorry to hear all that you have been through and are now experiencing again as well as caring for 3 children. We are all here for each other and hopefully together we can provide the support we all need struggling with this awful condition. So you are just waiting for a letter to see the surgeon again? I hope you don't have to wait too long.

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    • Posted

      I hope they will send a letter soon, the surgeon is the best around here and I hope so badly he can help me. I worry so much about childcare, I can't do housework, I won't be driving much longer so school runs will be so very hard. I am not sure if I will be happy for them to do another discectomy, that perhaps a fusion would be best for me?

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  • Posted

    I am sure there will be others here who can give you advice and their experiences of fusion. I am waiting on date to have piece of bone removed and the disc.
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  • Posted

    You have differently been through it mate,what did you do for the disc to relapse again and how long did it take? Did you have a micro discectomy or a open discectomy with decompression. The only reason I ask is, if you have not had the decompression ( Where they shave some of the joint) to make space for nerve maybe this could help

    Jim

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    • Posted

      They did an open discectomy, I'm not sure about the decompression, my mind kind of glazed over after the surgery so I didn't take everything on board. I just went back to eBay day life, lifting, bending, and I didn't lose weight, which all adds up I guess. Unfortunately I just didn't get to rest as much as I needed

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  • Posted

    It's hard maybe u could ring adult and social care. And ask if they could offer u any help in the wAy of a career for a short time. If you receive personal independence payments. At the standard level of daily living . Ud automatically qualify for career s allowance to pay someone to care for u . Maybe u may need to look into it. Citerzens advice would be a good start

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    • Posted

      Thank you, I am going to look into pip payments. Social services won't help I've begged them last time before my op when I was basically immobile, they said they couldn't help. I have a home start volunteer who will help me more, and perhaps help with pip claims too. I'm pushing harder for help this time since I am getting no help from family

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    • Posted

      Good luck one word of advice if things are really bad Like mobility. Make sure yr pip assessment is carried out at home you have to tell them how bad things get every day
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  • Posted

    Hi

    So sorry you are in pain again with young children. One thing I learned is you have to push - so ask for help because you need it and deserve it. Wishing you a speedy return to health wink

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  • Posted

    Thank you all for your support. I've just called pip and started the ball rolling, the form is being sent to me so my home start worker can help me fill it in. My favourite Dr (also happens to be one of the most highly regarded orthopaedic specialists) is going to be contacted, I chose him since he knows me more than anybody, and is so lovely and supportive. I'm nervous to say the least. I'm in an awful lot of pain, socks haven't been worn in a while because I struggle too much with them, and I've worn slip on pumps every day so I don't gave to struggle with shoes. 26 is far too young for this sort of pain. I just want them to fuse my spine to avoid any more of this pain. I would do anything.

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    • Posted

      Make sure u send as much medical info as possible. Don't rely on them to obtain it . Trust me. Also when filling forms out u yr start worker needs to put u need assistance with putting on socks ect , google pip assessment questions, it will give u an idea of what to expect from them . If u can get them to come to yr home for yr assessment. Because of mobility ect needs then do so State on yr pip for u will need a home visit and if need be get a letter from yr GP to back you up. Good luck

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it. Hopefully by the end of the week I can start filling it all in. I'm going to make sure I take my tune, I don't want to have to go through it all again if i don't get it

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