Losing the will to live

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hello everyone

Basically I have had a terrible year which culminated in a bit of a break down about three weeks ago because I got chucked with no explanation... that was obviously just the icing on the cake, I've had a whole load of other things happen in the past twelve months including bereavement, losing my job and (due to that) money worries, physical health problems and just everything you can think of that could happen has happened 😪🙄Due to the reason for me losing my job, I may well be sanctioned soon which means I will lose all or some of my benefits. Yes the obvious thing to do is find another job and quick but I am crippled with depression and often feel suicidal.

I went to the doctors and was put on mirtazapine, a very short course of diazepam and given a two week sick note which took the pressure of job searching off me for a bit (I'm on Universal credit) but my sick note has finished and I'm still dreading waking up in the mornings as it genuinely feels like I'm shrouded in depression, not to mention I'm still getting over my break up which is basically causing me little stabs of chest pain every time I think about him.

The depression is physical, causing me pain and lethargy. It honestly feels like I have a viral infection. I am always on the verge of tears and sometimes I hurt so much it is literally making me breathless.

I am struggling so much. Please say it gets better.

2 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Posted

    Julie, I am so sorry for your pain. Yes, it will get better and you will be the main one to help that process. Maybe you can move back home for a while to sort things out? Have faith, there is hope. Pray, trust God, be thankful for whatever you can.
  • Posted

    Hey Julie

    I feel like you too. I'm suffering with Depression and I literally feel like crap. Im not a sentimental person but my depression is making me be on verge of tears while I'm in a public place. I don't understand what's wrong with me. It does get better. You're going through a heartbreak. It's hard but you will get through it. You will find someone else for you. I don't have energy it's the depression. It all makes sense now when I read your post.

    Stand strong💪 You can do this 🙌 Give yourself positive feedback. 👍 Talk to your family or a therapist. Try to be positive. You will feel better. smile

    • Posted

      I am going through this and just cannot get out of depression.  How are you managing to do it?
    • Posted

      Hey Ann

      I ignore the bad thoughts and reinforce positive ones. Positive affirmations. Listening to music that makes me happy. You can also listen to Inspirational Speeches on YouTube. They motivate. Keeping my mind busy by cleaning my house so I don't have the chance to think anything bad. You can try gardening, reading, dancing, walking. Anything that works for you. smile Getting a therapist. Going outside. Staying inside will only depress you more. You need the sun and good sleep too. Always force yourself to get out of bed and try to dress nice and go out even if it's just to the park or store.👍 I get myself tired so I can escape my mind. Exercising, dancing, organizing my room. Listening to water relaxes me. It's on YouTube too. I Google Inspirational quotes to feel motivated. 🙌 You can also search funny memes so you can laugh a little. Lol.smile Always know it will get better. With help it can. Counseling, therapy, medication, vitamins. Vitamin deficiencys can cause depression.

  • Posted

    Hi Julie,

    Seems like you've got a million things going on right now so I completely understand why you're so depressed.

    Alot of what you're going through is out of your control so please don't put mountains of pressure on yourself trying to fix everything.

    Break ups are hard to get through even if everything else in your life is wonderful - this is something that will take time, you literally have to take things day by day, you have every right to be uspest but try not to let that take over - this is your time to be selfish, you don't have another person to worry about so focus on you.

    I was on Universal credit when I was off work - they do everything the can to put you off from claiming but if you're not ready to go back to work then don't. It's so hard not to worry about money but worrying will not put money in your bank, you can't give what you don't have.

    I am a firm believer that mental illness can cause physical illness - I have been through the exact same feeling when I've been at my lowest - you need to try & rest your mind as well as your body. Relaxing isn't easy when your brain is full of racing thoughts but just take time out to empty your thoughts & take a break - do anything that will distract you from what's going on.

    Look after yourself however you see fit 

    x

  • Posted

    Cindy and others why do you

    Always bring religion into things, dont assume everyone is religious. Quoting religion assuming people are when they aren't religious doesn't really help.

    Hi Julie sorry that your going through this at this time

    Terrible year for me also, partner left me after a very intense relationship, bullied at my work, family issues and arguments, tested for cancer, little support from anyone

    I would feel the stabs in the chest as I missed her so so much, but looking back she was very nasty to me and I was missing the signs that everyone else could see. So in a way it was good that it ended

    I was very tearful and on meds and no one reached out to me, still struggling 7 months later but it is a lot lot better

    You will get through it for certain

    Maybe you can sign upto an employment agency as there is a lot of work they put up your way and you can pick and chose what you do depending on how your feeling rather than worrying you'll get sacked if you don't turn up

    One thing at a time take your meds try to get fitter try the employment agency then you can move to relationships

    Everyone is different I felt loads better after 1 month

    But learn from this and understand your red flags in case it comes back in the future

    all the best and take care xxxx

    • Posted

      Hi Manyo - I second your statement on religion. I posed the question "Does religion have anything to do with medicine?" and the moderators shut down that thread. 

      I also agree with other points you have made. Depression is an awful burden, and dealing with it is a journey of self discovery. One determined step at a time can help and we owe it to ourselves to try.

    • Posted

      Upsetting moderators Wayne, that's usually my job

      I know a lot of people find solice in religion, I'm very religion myself, but it's a personal thing and we can't assume that everyone else is the same

      To offer religious support via comments on forums to people who may not feel the same about religion..... how can that possibly help or be effective.

  • Posted

    Hi you need to claim ESA rather than JSA for the time being.  Sanctions won't apply then as leaving a job through illness is acceptable.  When you start to feel a bit better and more able to look for work then by all means go back on JSA.  As long as you obey all the rules scrupulously then you won't be sanctioned.  

    Sometimes we get times even years when everything goes wrong that possibly can,  but hang on in there as it always gets a bit better over time.  

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