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I lost my mum when I was 30. She was my best friend, my everything and the only family i had except my daughter. When she died it was like someone had taken my safety net away. I have changed so much. I have not yet learnt to live a happy life without her.
I am suprised there are not really any forums about loss of loved ones. It is so life changing. I figured it fitted in to the depression forum as I have been constantly depressed since she died (although I have had depression since I was 15). In a way she was my carer as far as my depression went. She was th eonly one who got me completely. She always knew what to do. She would fight my battles when I was too depressed to fight them for me.
Then there are things like parenting advice - I have never had her advice about the teenage years and boy have I needed it!!
Christmas and Birthdays (Im not so sure if this is quite the same as if you have a large family, please correct me if I am wrong) are just ruined. Especially Christmas - my mum did Christmas for 30 years (and her mum was alive o my nan would be there) , my whole life. Now Christmas day is just me and my daughter. I love watching her open her presents but all day I hurt so much. It is not right. Christmas is no longer Christmas.
Then there are occasioanlly bad feelings in the mix too. My mum was with a guy she had been with for 7 years when she died. She left everything (and she had quite a lot, she was a top accountant) to him. I get half the worth of he house when he dies. No uni fund for my daughter. No little bit of savings when i get in to trouble (which I am, my rent is more than I earn!).
I try to understand by thinking she must of thought my step dad would have looked after us. He travelled the world, bought a new motorbike and a boat. I havent spoken to him in 3 years. Once when an ex threw me and my daughter out on the streets i asked for his help and I didnt even get a reply.
It crushes your life. I would like to hear of other peoples experience of the loss of a parent.
And if anyone has any ways to cope I would REALLY like to hear them.
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