Loss of appetite
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In my 70s and in June l lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly in his sleep. He had not been ill so a complete shock. In the beginning I was numb and had so much to do. Now 6 months down the line fir the past 2 months I have completely lost my appetite. I am eating because I know I have to eat but I do not ever feel hungry and do not enjoy or look forward to mealtimes.In fact the thought of food nauseates me. I have had a complete blood test count and everything has come back as normal. I can’t understand why this has happened now. Obviously I miss my husband like crazy but the appetite thing is really getting to me. Does anyone have any idea why this could be happening I can’t bear to think that for the the rest of my life not wanting to eat or enjoy food. My Dr has suggested a course of anti depressants but is this really the answer.
0 likes, 8 replies
jan34534 angela55814
Edited
Angela I am very sorry for your loss. Sometimes we can be depressed and not even be aware of it. Loss of appetite is very common with depression. that doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to go on medication at this time.
one thing that happens is that when we are grieving, having stress or depressed, the appetite can slow way down. Our body slows it down to save energy. It’s a process that is something natural in humans. .
do do you have any friends or family for some emotional support?
Here are some suggestions how to help your appetite come back ....
3.make sure you are taking care of yourself. When you do have an appetite, eat healthy foods and stay hydrated with water!
4.if you don’t already have a hobby, maybe you can pick one up. Something that gives you pleasure doing.
5.join A support group. There are lots of groups for widows and widowers who support each other and also enjoy each others company.
6.get some exercise. It could be walks, going to a gym that has activities for seniors.
Anything you do that brings a smile to your face or laughter will help to bring back your appetite. Little by little. there is always the option of medication but it may not be necessary. Bringing joy back in your life is also great medicine! Take care ❤
angela55814 jan34534
Posted
Thank you so much for your reply. I am trying to do some of the things that you have suggested. I find the trouble is that my friends are inviting me for lunch or dinner etc and I am not accepting as I know there will be food involved. I just don’t seem to have much of an appetite for anything and I am making myself eat not because I want to but because I feel I have to. The whole appetite thing seems to be dominating my life and if it would come back I am sure I would feel a lot better in myself as I have always really enjoyed my food .I dread thinking that I will always feel like this .
Thank you again for your reply
sasical72 angela55814
Posted
Hello Angela,
I am so sorry for your loss. Jan has given you some great advice.
I just wanted to point out something you mention "the whole appetite thing seems to be dominating my life".
This is a strategy the brain uses. When we are overwhelmed by something (in this case your husband's death) the brain/body gets stuck on something to deflect from the issue.
I'm sorry if I don't know how to explain this very well as English is not my first language.
It's as if the brain gets "obsessed" with something (in this case food) so that all your attention is focused on that and that way you don't pay so much attention to the pain of your grief. It is a protection method from the brain, one that happens a lot in grief.
I'm sure you will be able to eat just fine again in the future. Accept there are certain things that come with grief, not only sadness.
And as Jan said, if you can talk to somebody about it, that would certainly help. But do allow yourself time.
Wishing you the best x
angela55814 sasical72
Edited
Thank you so much for your reply. you are right all I do is focus on the food thing the whole time. I can see your perspective on this and it does make sense. All I see are happy people enjoying food whilst the thought of it makes me feel sick.
I have tried to talk to someone but noone seems to get back to me. I had a web chat with Cruse but would prefer to see someone face to face.
I feel so lonely without Mike even though I have a lovely family. I dont want to keep worrying them.
Thank you again. Your answer has helped
sasical72 angela55814
Posted
How wouldn't you feel lonely without your husband? I lost my Dad when I was just 10, I still remember the emptiness.
It really does help to talk. I think your family will be more worried if you don't talk than if you do.
There are also grief counselling groups, I don't know if this is something you would consider but I have always found group therapy to be very effective as it gives you a sense of belonging.
Keep sharing on here too if that helps x
angela55814 sasical72
Edited
Thank you for your reply. I have tried to get into grief counselling but the only thing they can offer is online and I would prefer to see someone face to face. It’s the appetite thing that really gets me down and I keep thinking in my head that there is something seriously wrong with me as I have never suffered with appetite loss before. (all my blood tests were normal) ) I also cant understand why this is happening now and not 6 months ago when Mike died. Thank you again for your reply
sasical72 angela55814
Posted
Don't be afraid Angela, it is completely normal that you lose your appetite, if you accept this, in time it will return.
It is also completely normal that it happens 6 months after your husband died.
It really is normal, I'm not just saying this to put your mind at ease.
angela55814 sasical72
Posted
Thank you so much fir your reply. It really has been worrying me and I keep thinking I must have some awful disease for me to have no interest in food at all even though all my blood test are normal. The whole appetite thing is consuming my life and thoughts I just cant get it out of my head as so much of your life is caught up with eating and drinking. Thank you again so much.