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Loss of hope

Posted , 6 users are following.

sue162
sue162

i think I need to off load apologies I hate doing this.  I can’t stop crying and I’ve worked out that episodes in my life we’re I have felt periods of down time have been usually caused not by psyche but my external influences but I always had hope.  I have realised that I have now lost hope.  Yesterday I just stood in front of a mirror and literally hate myself, that’s me being honest, hopeless, useless complete utter waste of space.  I am very alone in these thoughts, no support and in fact no one knows I feel like this as I am so good at hiding it.  How do we get hope that’s gone?  No amount of mindfulness is going to get it back.  No amount of chatting to someone explaining how I feel is going to want them to listen, everyone has their own problems and things to worry about and so where is the hope?

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • pamela51740
    pamela51740 sue162

    Posted

    Hi Sue please don't suffer in silence, you are not worthless it's anxiety and depression making these horrible thoughts! Please tell your family and doctor the way you feel and seek help immediately. I bet your family love you & life wouldn't be the same without you. Are you on any medication? Xx

    • sue162
      sue162 pamela51740

      Posted

      No Pamela I aren’t on medication, I worry very much about being put on this by a four minute gp visit with no adequate follow up, they seem to just rush your visit through.  Also, my partners attitude from what I have picked up on over the years would think I was a fruitcake and so would his family this is one reason why I hide it.  I’m concerned as I have to go to a work related party and really am dreading this putting on a front so as not to be judged but then think these people will never see me again and don’t care two bits about me or who I am but it’s something I will have to go to.  The way I feel I could just as easily go in jogging bottoms and dirty hair. Sorry you are wonderful in replying to me. 
    • pamela51740
      pamela51740 sue162

      Posted

      Hi Sue I think you have been depressed far too long and meditation would help a lot! (Could even change your life for the best) I know it's horrible being fake and pretending you are ok, please don't give a monkeys what your partner and family say, it's your mental wellbeing that is important, if left untreated the depression will just spiral out of control, I really want to give you a big hug and say everything is going to be OK. Please seek medical advise, I know the time is short with your doctor, but please tell your doctor everything and take your time telling him, don't rush thinking you have only got a few minutes with him. Honestly medication will make you feel so much better xx

    • sue162
      sue162 pamela51740

      Posted

      I think a hug would be very nice and would honestly make me feel better.  I know a visit to gp would be very upsetting as would having to walk past all the others waiting in the room looking that I’ve been upset after been in there , something I would dread.  Unfortunately I just feel so emotional now.  It’s side effects I worry about most of medication and that they would be bad.   
    • pamela51740
      pamela51740 sue162

      Posted

      Hi Sue I cry all the time lately at the doctors lol I just put on sunglasses and please don't care what other people think, there could be someone sat there feeling the same way you do also doctors are their to help! I know side effects of antidepressants aren't very nice but it will only last a week or so then you start feeling better! What's one or two weeks of side effects when you have been depressed for so long! Please, you will see light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better i promise x

  • jan34534
    jan34534 sue162

    Posted

    Sue,  I was also very good at hiding those feelings for many many years, actually starting in elementary school! I had no reason to lack confidence or feel shy or scared or anxious because I had a wonderful family life. But year after year after year of hiding my feelings in worrying about what other people thought took it’s toll on me .

     I literally suffered through school and college and any jobs I held. I felt like nobody else was like me at all it seemed. People just went  about their lives went to work and for me it was pure misery.   That’s why I stayed home and raise my kids because I just couldn’t  cope out in the world .

     One thing that did help me vent my feelings and get some feedback and regain hope  and help was speaking to a counselor

    I know you don’t want to do that and I did have to go through several before I found one that I liked. At least I didn’t feel so isolated when I talked to the counselor.  

     I learned that in order to regain hope, we need to start out by setting some small achievable goals  and this is where counselor can help.

    Some ideas are

    -fight  against negative thoughts. Such as “there’s no hope.“ Substitute constructive thoughts such as “what’s one positive thing I can do for myself today, right now“

     -surround yourself with positive things, people, music, etc. 

     -Get rid of “what if“ thinking.  it helps to write things down daily such as reconnecting with yourself by jotting down “what are my goals?“ Remind yourself of your goals and your purpose daily and take small steps every day to accomplish something small. 

     I would write down specific things that I’m upset about. Whether it’s my job, relationship, etc. that helps me deal with  One thing at a time so its not so overwhelming.and where a trained counselor can help you through this. 

     -don’t be alone with your feelings of hopelessness. You only have your one perspective and other people can help you find new opportunities, insight that you may be overlooking. 

     -be open to medication. Sometimes it’s just short term to get you through some rough times. 

     -Don’t isolate yourself because when I did that I got lost in my thoughts and everything got worse. There is so much help out there!    If I did not reach out and find someone to talk to talk to,  I would still be completely miserable and isolated. I encourage you to do the same. 

     it doesn’t matter what others think. This is your life. It’s your time to feel better.  Be a fighter for yourself. 

     -Hope is not something that can be lost because there is ALWAYS HOPE.🌸🌸🌸🌸

  • jan34534
    jan34534 sue162

    Posted

     One more thing is to keep in mind that counselors go into this field because they truly want to help people. It’s what they love to do . Take advantage of that and help yourself to feel better! 
    • sue162
      sue162 jan34534

      Posted

      Thanks for all your replies.  I did do counselling for the ten designated NHS weeks then they said that’s all we get on NHS it didn’t help but then maybe she wasn’t suited to me, I found it upsetting  her checking her watch all the time and huffing a couple of times.  I think grief and loss has gone to depression, also identity has gone by the roles that defined me before the losses also getting I think I need to request more counselling but a different kind of counselling, I don’t know which .  You are right Jan about isolating I feel better bumping into people I know even if I’m putting an act on. The more alone I am the worse I feel. I used to appreciate simple pleasure like a dvd and being excited about a day out but now it’s just numb. 
  • mimibrenda
    mimibrenda sue162

    Posted

    Hi Sue, As long as there is a breath in us there is hope. You really should talk to someone. Begin with a family member or close friend. Then, go see your doctor and tell him how you honestly feel. He can refer you to a therapist and possibly recommend medication. You are worthy. You are a beautiful human being who needs a little help. Stop hiding your pain. Put it out into the world. ((Hug to you)).
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