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Loss of sexual desire/activity

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tjs17151
tjs17151

Had a green light procedure last June. It took several months before thing returned to near normal. Even though I am 69, I previously has a sex life. Maybe not nightly, but certainly more than monthly. 

Since last August there has been no actvity. Nothing to work with, so to say. Cialis has had noi effect and I don't believe Vigara will help eitther. My UR has suggested needles and devices which do not interrest me. Is there a possibilty that the GL procedure ended my sexual active days?

0 likes, 56 replies

56 Replies

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  • alan1951
    alan1951 tjs17151

    Posted

    I am 65 and had hip replacement surgery last August.  I'm just now able to walk at 70%  My point is this; sometimes it takes an extraordinarily long time for the body to come back, and I don't have to tell you - as we age our metabolic processes slow down noticeably.  Give a while longer.  Curious as to whether you've addressed your concerns with urologist. I'm such a believer in second opinions. Wishing you the best.

  • wally5
    wally5 tjs17151

    Posted

    The same happened to me after the TURP operation and I was only 50 years old. I had the Best sex life before the TURP and nothing enjoyable after it and of course my urologist have never heared of something like that before. Well he told me the story that they all aparantly tell patients that everything will be exactly the same after the turp except for RE. Well whatever research might have done on this subject I think that the stories of men on the internet is definitely another story.    
    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 wally5

      Posted

      Wally I'm sorry that you had a problem.  I would never have something like that at 50 would have tryed something else.  Also I would never have a women urologist or doctor.  One told me at 47 I had cancer of the prostate and I needed surgery.  Turn out to be a very bad prostate infection.  Take care  Ken 

  • lester90053
    lester90053 tjs17151

    Posted

    First get a second opinion. If you don't like what you hear, talk to a lawyer.

  • james87669
    james87669 tjs17151

    Posted

    Had HoLEP last June 29th and by September pretty much back to my old horney self. Turned out that my sexual responce actually improved! Now almost a year later and I find myself in the situation you speak of. Nemely "lack of desire". My thoughts  are leaning to the psychological aspects of love and sex. I am a "young" almost 73, have been maried for 50 years and up till recently could have sex weekly and perform adequately. Lately I just don't have that desire. So I'm thinking same routine for fifty years has just made sex bla. I see my Uro in about two weeks and will see what he thinks could be the cause of my sagging libido.

    • oldbuzzard
      oldbuzzard james87669

      Posted

      It could be related and it might not also. Dare I suggest (for medicinal/diagnostic purposes onlycool) that you sample some porn, just to see if your issue is physical or emotional???
    • nealpros
      nealpros james87669

      Posted

      Hi James,

      Be sure to get your testosterone checked.

      Neal

    • wally5
      wally5 nealpros

      Posted

      The problem is that I dont have a climax after the TURP. I had no problem before the Turp with a climax. And to me that was the best part of sex. I coudnt wait to get to the climax. The urologist put me on testosterone but the climax is not remotely what I had.  
    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 wally5

      Posted

      I'm sorry for for your problem.  How much information did you get on the side effect before you had it done.  I don't want to say anything against him but All the nerves that help with your orgasm and climax are attached to the prostate and surounding area.  I don't think that the testosterone is going to help.  How much did you cut out..I hope it will come back but sometime it takes up to a year to heal and get anything back.  This is way there is a 40% downside in turps.  Men do not what to deal with what your going through and they do not what to have retro injaculation.  Turp surgery wll have a chance to lessing the orgasm.  Some men dod not have a problem.  But there is that 25% that do.  Good luck and I hope things work out for you  Ken

    • wally5
      wally5 kenneth1955

      Posted

      I was told that everything, the feeling, the sex will be excactly the same. I just wont ejaculate after the TURP. I didnt like the idea and when I asked the urologist if there wasnt any other method than the turp  he told me that he wont take any chances and I must come as soon as possible. Those other methods dont work.When I asked him if the PSa of 3.8 is high he told   me that it is very high. The visit wasnt longer than 15 minutes and he even attended another patient in another room during that 15 minutes as I could hear them  speak. As I had no idea what was going on and because of the fact that he said that he wont take any chances I thought that it could be prostate cancer. I trusted this man because he is a urologist and I thought that a urologist should tell you at least of all the  methods. The idea that I have is that is that there is nothing that a patient can do about it as "research" have never heared of that problem. 

    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 wally5

      Posted

      Wally I am sorry that you took his word for it.  Did you go for a second opinion.   I have a very good urologist.  He is only 38 and know a hell of alot.  He has won some awards and he is all ways learning about new things.  He is just starting to do Rezum.  He has allways been very honest about anything.  I send him e-mail all the time about me and some of the men on the site.  This is what he told me about turp.  He does not do a turp unless it is a last resort because it is very hard on some men.  He does tell them about all the side effects but he also told me that they never know if a procedure will work until it's done.  It will say that the orgasm may be less. Th feeling because of the nerves being cut away from the prostate.  He does not like to say anything against another doctor but what that doctor told you was wrong. PSA of 3.8 is not hign.  4.0 and below are normal.  I had a PSA of 4.2 a couple of years ago.  All was well.  With the feeling  the sex being the same he told me that is a tex book answer that is what they learn in school.  With cutting out the prostate you have many vein and nerves in that area.  I saw him today and talked about you he said that you may get somemore feeling back but it will take time.  Remember all men are different and some men heal slower then others.  Good luck my friend and never give up  Ken     

    • derek76
      derek76 wally5

      Posted

      This Guy is after your money and trying to scare you. The sooner you ditch him the better.

      There are many new treatments that are ALL better than TURP that would appear to be the only one he is capable of doing. My PSA was 5.1 in 1995 when my prostate was 35grms. By 2004 it was 9.8 prior to GL PVP. Large prostate = high PSA. Now it is 0.74.

       

    • wally5
      wally5 kenneth1955

      Posted

      I must tell you that I am from Johannesburg in South Africa. I dont know if that specific urologist know of anything better.Well I went back to him again and again because when I saw a lot of emails on this subject, somebody told all of us with the same problem to go back and keep in telling those urologists if the climax is a disaster so that they can get the message. I went back three times and the last time I was there he told me to get myself another urologist.  I told him that I allready did but that the damage is done now and no urologist can do anything about it. At least it make me feel better if there are people who believe me as he told me that he never heared of such a problem before.
    • derek76
      derek76 wally5

      Posted

      Of course he knew better but he is only doing the procedure he knows.

      I met ones like him in the UK when GL PVP was first introduced they all said that TURP was the Gold Standard and they would never do PVP in this hospital. Now they do it and other newer procedures. 

      Backward Turkey had motorway signs telling men the benefits of GL over twelve yers ago.

      Strangely a still pro TURP Uro at my local hospital is a South African.

    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 wally5

      Posted

      He must be living in a small world.  Anytime you deal with the prostate you can have problems  Nothing is the same after.  Lets up the other doctor can help you get at least a little better and maybe you can stop some other guy that is going to the first urologist that he is no good and he does not know his job  Take care  Ken
    • nealpros
      nealpros wally5

      Posted

      Hi Wally,

      Sorry for the confusion.

      You wrote that you have no " climax". Let's be sure we agree on terms.

      Climax is the name of the sudden great feelings one has during sex. Ejaculation iswhen seminal fluid is forced out of your penis during climax. Lack of ejaculation is a common side effect of most surgical treatments of BPH. Lack of, or difficulties with climax is a side effect of some medications used to treat BPH. What's goi on with you?

      Neal

    • wally5
      wally5 nealpros

      Posted

      The final explosion at the end of sex is not remotely the same. There is no enjoyment and its not at all the same force and feeling that I had before the operation. To me its not a question of termonology. The enjoyment of the end of sex is a total desaster after the TURP. I think the research concentrate on termonology that the normal people dont understand. To me its as easy as to say that I dont like the climax without the ejaculation and I can feel that there is a big explosion missing at the end. I might be one of a minoroty butat the age of 50 It was a disaster for me and the biggest mistake that I made was to trust a Specialist. In this case the urologist.  
    • wally5
      wally5 derek76

      Posted

      Thats probably the only thing they know in South Africa. At least its good to see that they are doing new procedures in the UK. Research may not find anybody with sexual problems after the TURP but at least the internet cant stop the true stories from men like me. At least I now also have another urologist and I just think how different my life would have been if I went to him and not to the one that I went to.   

       

    • derek76
      derek76 wally5

      Posted

      Odd that they are years behind in prostate surgery when they once led the world in heart transplants. 
    • wally5
      wally5 derek76

      Posted

      So true but one thing that I cant understand is that if you go on to websites about TURP. you will see most big hospitals like Mayo clinic and so on that will tell you that the sex and the climax will be the same. You wont even feel the difference. 
    • nealpros
      nealpros wally5

      Posted

      What does your mrw urologist say about your new situation?

      Neal

    • nealpros
      nealpros

      Posted

      Sb NEW UROLOGIST.

      NEAL

    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 wally5

      Posted

      Wally we all know what your saying.  Your urologist did a number on you and now there is no goink.  Let me tell you when I went to my urologist he gave me Flomax and rabaflo.  Both give you retro and I did not under stand it.  This was 2 years ago.  The first time I masturbated the built up was there and I could feel the orm going to hit and when it did it went flat there was no feeling at all and without the ejaculation it was like I did not do anything at all.  I never took another pill I went back to normal.  For you I'm sorry that you can't get back to normal. I talk to my doctor and he said you may get better in time he does not know. Take care  Ken

    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 wally5

      Posted

      That is true in principle because all men have a orgasm but they do not have the some kind all men are different. Most doctors do not concider the prostate a sex organ.  It's only function is to produce fuild and they will tell a man you don't need it because you are not having kids.  They do not consider the ejaculation a function.  That is why all doctor will tell you when you have any prostate procedure all sexual  function will stay the same.  Or they tell you very little and change the subject.   When you were on the mayo clinic site did you read about turp surgery are down to many new one but you still have the older doctor telling you that is the gold standard because that is all they know  Ken

    • uncklefester
      uncklefester wally5

      Posted

      A coworker's father his first TURP in his mid 40's. He said it ruimed his sex life. Just mhad his seco is now 57. Uro told him he will probably need another TURM in 10 years

    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 uncklefester

      Posted

      Why would he have another one when he know what he was going to be going through.  It like if you hit your finger with a hammer.  Just do it again.  Ken
    • uncklefester
      uncklefester kenneth1955

      Posted

      He had the 2nd one because yje first ruined his sex lifee so he had nothing to lose
    • kenneth1955
      kenneth1955 uncklefester

      Posted

      I know but why would you still what to go through all the pain and bleeding when you know whats coming.  I would never have had the first one.  Men need tto get the information on the procedure that they pick Don't listen to the doctor Get a secound opinion and ask other men.  There are do many men having surgerys that they should not baving.  A urologist talked this guy in having a turp when his PSA was 3.8 The doctor told him is was very high and should not wait.  Not the doctor wanys nothing to do ith him  Ken

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