Lost

Posted , 5 users are following.

So I'm in my early 30's and been out of work for the last year and a half. Did initially try to find a job but eventually gave up and lost the motivation after constant rejections. Before that, I was working abroad and was in a relationship for 3 years. Was happy abroad but because I was in a dead end job felt I would try my chances back in my home country. Now, I regret that decision everyday and the only thing I cling onto are the memories of my time with my former partner. Those were the happiest of my life and how I wish I could somehow turn back time. Up until recently I would still talk to her every weekend which would help keep me going but now it seems she got a new partner, has moved on and cut off our talks. So it seems I've relapsed into deep depression.

Nowadays I'm stuck living in my parents house, afraid to venture out and closed off all contact with the few close friends I have. I know I should consult my friends but i see how settled their lives are and am too ashamed to talk. Also, the thinking is that if something were to happen to me, the pain would be less for them. I wish my parents would kick me out or at least pressure me to do something but they've long accepted that I have mental problems and it's best to leave me be. I've tried consulting a therapist before but I found that to be useless since I have fear of making conversation and suffer greatly from social anxiety.

I have thought about taking extreme measures but know I couldn't go through with it. However, for every day to pass by with no happiness or hope in sight is so tough and I don't know what to do.

0 likes, 5 replies

Report / Delete

5 Replies

  • Posted

    Sorry to hear you are feeling down.

    How are you supporting yourself if you are not working at all?

    You should look into what benefits you could be entitled to. The job centre will help you find work so that's where you need to be.

    They could even help you do voluntary work to get you back into working .

    Getting back in to some type of work is key for you and it will give you something to look forward to and get up in the mornings for.

    You should be very grateful that your parents are as kind and supportive as they sound. Try and be grateful for the good people and things you do have in your life. Not everyone with mental

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Sorry sent too soon!

    Not everyone with mental health issues has their parents to fall back on so I think you are lucky in that respect. 

    Regarding your ex girlfriend, sorry to hear it didn't work out. A lot of people have romances abroad and it doesent last.

    Maybe when you start working you can start saving and find another adventure abroad to look forward to? ! You never know who you may meet in the future . I'm sure there is someone new round the corner in the future for you so don't be down . 

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Angel, I've been in your exact same position before. I went abroad, lived it, rejected it, came home and ended up living with the folks, out of work and getting more and more depressed. Spiritanimal is genuinely right, you need to take action, like physical action, not just applying online for stuff. Get to to Job Centre or look at https://do-it.org/ (loads of unpaid things you've maybe not even considered)

    Never underestimate the power of volunteering! It gives you a sense of purpose, looks good on your CV, takes you away from your own worries, and can lead to other things.

    I spent 5 years living at home in the end... finally left at 38 having volunteered for St John's Ambulance and learnt how to save lives - just two hours a week is all they asked of me to train. I went through months of counselling and social workers but THAT is what changed my life for the better!

    Don't waste any more time, honestly! You're a thoughtful and caring person, people need you and your compassion, share it xx

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Try to find a support group.  After I graduated from college I moved to another city with my parents.  I got a job and moved out.  I had several depressive episodes.  Dated and lived with a couple of people and had more severe depression episodes requiring hospitalizations.  During one of the hospital stays I was introduced to a Depression Bipolar Support Groups.  That group made a huge difference in my life.  I could talk to people who really understood me because they all were going through the same thing.  There were professional speakers who gave wonderful help and advice.  I made great friends who are still by my side 20 years later.  Yes I said 20 yrs.  I just had lunch and played cards with four of them Thur.  I go walking with one of them every week.  The best thing is when one of us is having a bad time or even in the hospital everyone else is there for the one in need with a true understanding.  We haven't gone to meetings in several years but our friendship is what grew from those meetings and what has helped us.  Those meetings are a great place to get help to grow to forge lasting friendships to meet great doctors and therapist and find many other wonderful resources.  If you can't find one go to the internet and look up NAMI or DBSA or call the local hospital helping mental illnesses.  If you aren't in the US call the hospital and check the internet.  These groups are life savers.  You have to be willing to share your experiences but that can be done over time.  You are young and you need to find friends who understand and are willing to boost you up when you need it, willing to let you know when you need help, if that means taking you to a doctor or hospital when you need it, making sure you take care of yourself and vise versa.  Good luck to you.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    You will find happiness again with someone else...I used to think that way after I split up with my ex....but now I’ve found someone better....don’t give up hope because u will never know what tomorrow may bring....I say to life bring it on....give me the bad days...so I can get through them and enjoy the good xx
    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up