Lost hope for alcoholic partner

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Well back again and think I'm finally done with my 10yr relationship with my alcoholic partner.

I suppose my main reason for posting this is partly due to my need to understand how and to explain to anyone willing to listen that this is so hard for me to do and has not been an easy descion and the utter devestation I feel regarding him.

This is not what I would have wanted but I guess I have realised I have to save myself as he won't/ can't do it for himself and I'm only going into his spiral of hell further daily.

Wish he could see, wish he knew but hey his battle now not mine xx

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    How sad Hun sad How bad has it got ? Are you not a drinker yourself ?
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    • Posted

      Sad it is and he has just shut me out completley I'm afraid, he has chose drink over our relationship and I've struggled, with compassion I may add, and I just know now that my hurt, resentment, anger is self destructive and I am no longer in a position to help him, he is sick daily has high blood pressure and is on a one way track to death, which breaks my heart but it's his choice so what can I do ?

      I like a drink yes but am not dependant on it xx

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    • Posted

      You cannot do more and have a life to live as  well. SOunds like a very serious case and the evil drink often does win and that is very sad. Hard to say anything else than "tomorrow is another day and live it to the full" since that is what you should and can do. I really do wish you all the best and also think that you have done the thing. Robin
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  • Posted

    Bless you, you have done your best.  What a shame it has to end this way, but I totally agree with what you have decided and I think you are very brave.

    You have to put yourself first now, find the life that you deserve.

    My heart goes out to you,

    Pat xxxxx

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  • Posted

    You have to look after number one, as hard as it is to let someone go, if they're going to drag you under, let them go.
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    • Posted

      Thank you RHGB I'm just getting my head round that now but it's took a while xx
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    • Posted

      In our relationship, I was the one with a drink problem. That's pretty much behind me now (the odd relapse),but if I was going down the plughole, I wouldn't want to take my partner with me.

      Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom (on your own) before you bounce back up.

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  • Posted

    So sorry to hear this, but you have friend for a long long time and have now been brave to make this painful decision. If his drinking is affecting your relationship and you so badly and he is unwilling to recognise that then I think you can call it a kind of abuse. You have now escaped. I wish you all the best and stay strong.
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  • Posted

    Hi crazycat... I Know how you feel exactly !!!!!!

    That was my husband for 15 yes. ..he was in a terrible, terrible state.... I was the alcoholic,,, I am so.. SO. ...SO glad that he stood by me...I would have been dead yrs and Yrs ago and my three sons xxx very special daughter...and my grandson... would have had no mum xxx or grandma. ....

    They and ( my husband ) never, never, never , ever, ever, EVER GAVE UP ON ME.....I Know it is hard and he will love you more than you would ever know...he would not !! Want to see you suffer xxx....take care, lovely lady..MY heart goes out to you ... hugs dee...xxx😟

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  • Posted

    I know exactly how difficult it is for you. I lived in the same situation as you for 14 years. All you want is for them to see sense and not choose the bottle over you. You stay for one reason and that is to try and be the one that helps them recover from this horrible disease.

    My story doesn't  have a happy ending but I hope yours does.

    4 years ago I began to write about the journey I went through with my alcoholic husband and it was a sort of therapy for me. My story is now published.

    The title of my book is 'Sunshine & Tears' by Ruth O'Neill found on Amazon maybe it will resonate with you.

    Don't think that you are weak whether you stay or leave but do what's best for you.

     

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