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That's about it really. 4 weeks of therapy left, keep trying, keep picking myself up from the depths of destruction, unsure how much longer this can go on. Lost count how many times I've run away but keep on coming home eventually as just can't do the deed, got tracked down by the police the other week after hanging up with a helpline through my work. More dissociation to the world around me, told my reinforcer who is the back-up between each therapy session, I'm supposedly doing ok!! Doesn't feel like it. Just wish I was dead.
Before you ask been attending exercise classes, walking, doing my best to eat sensibly, cut down on alcohol have been avoiding the few people I know or they have been avoiding me getting on with their lives just can't face them, some places cos I start panicking. Just can't see a point in life anymore I hate myself so much. Or this is just another bad day like all the rest.
You all take care out there. X
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