Lost my best friend due to depression, don't know what to do

Posted , 3 users are following.

I began having dark and unpleasant feelings about myself last November and it began through me feeling inferior to everyone else. This then lead to me thinking my friends were getting sick and tired of my depression and dealing with me being upset and having low moods. 

My best friend was always really supportive of me to the point where he would actively go out of his way to help me by ringing me up, walking home with me from nights out when I was feeling down and talking me round. He was my strongest support. 

Recently I had been getting paranoid as well as depressed and I began thinking my best friend was messaging his other friends to discuss how sick and tired of me he was. It got so bad that on a number of occasions I actually checked his messaging history to make sure he hadn't said those things. He hadn't.

He found out about this last week and said he no longer wanted to be my friend, that I had betrayed his trust and that he wanted to move on in his life without me. We had been very close mates for 3 years at this point. I honestly don't know what to do.

I can't sleep properly, I feel sick constantly and all I want is my friend back. But he has blocked my messages on Facebook and has explicitly said he wants nothing to do with me. I feel lost without my mate because he shouldered so much of my depression.

Now whenever I would have normally contacted him to talk about my depression I am instead reminded of how he is no longer there and it burns me up inside. 

Please if anyone could offer advice or help on what to do I would really appreciate it.

1 like, 5 replies

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Go to my personal message page. Have article you need to read.
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  • Posted

    The message is to big to write here.
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  • Posted

    I think you think you lost more than you actually did. He must have known how important he was to you and has shut you out. You need to make an appointment with a medical professional
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  • Posted

    Find another friend and move on.  There are others who will be nderstanding, although you feel lost now, hang in there.
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  • Posted

    Hi Joe,  I have been going through something similar. I have isoloated myself from my friends and when I talk to them I feel like I am a downer and they avoid me.

    My pastor had warned me only to talk to a few people, but I talked to everyone about my problems too many times and it definitely made things worse for me.

    If I were you. I would give this some time. Maybe a few weeks. Then I would go to his house bring him beer or whatever he likes to eat and have a letter written. In the letter, apologize, tell him how grateful you were to have him as a friend for three years.  So you are devasted that you caused so much damage.  Tell him to please just hang out with you one more time. I think it will fix things.

    Meanwhile, really try and work on getting rid of the depression. Throw yourself into work, exercise... I know it isnt easy. I am here because I am depressed too.

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