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I am new to this, so please bear with me, not sure if this is the right group. I lost my husband in July after caring for him for 4 years with various medical problems and continuing to work full time. Travelling 120 miles one day a week for blood tranfusions for the past 10 months. He died of leukemia within 3 days after I was told he had at least 2 - 3 weeks. Even though you know this is going to happen it is still a shock. I have been receiving councelling and trying to cope but I find I am getting worse. Difficulty sleeping, crying uncontrollably, eating, shaking, self harming and suicidal thoughts. i have been told this is all normal and it will get better. I've joined the local leisure centre and attend 3 times a week to try and get rid of my excess energy. I was recently prescribed citalopram 20mg after 4 days I struggled getting out of bed, couldn't get out of my car to go shopping had to return home, I was sweating,hyperventalating, shaking and crying. I stopped taking these pills but was advised by my GP to take 10mg for a week then up the dose. How do you control these attacks I use to think I was a strong person dealing with what I had over the last 4 years but I feel like a failure not able to control any of this. When I start getting anxious I go out for walks even if it is 1 in the morning and just sit outside even if its pouring with rain as I don't seem to care anymore. Any ideas how to cope with these attacks. Thanks.
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