Loud mind

Posted , 4 users are following.

I am feeling a bit fed up with my own train of thoughts.   I’m noticing that I spend time thinking and worrying about what the day might bring for example, what if I need to go to the shop, how will I cope, what if someone visits and I have to sit and talk to them and appear normal.  These kind of thoughts are definitely setting me off on the anxiety cycle and I really need to learn to challenge them if I want to have any hope of switching off this anxiety.   I also find I am pretty agoraphobic which is scary, I don’t want to admit that but the truth is I don’t want to go anywhere and I only feel safe and calm at home, it seems like such a big thing to tackle and I’m not sure how to quite yet, I’m trying, I’m still making myself go out for milk etc but I’m so uncomfortable doing the little things, will this ease as my meds do their job, or is this something that no pill is going to touch.   I really miss life, I miss the freedom of just going about my day and I want so badly just to be the way I was.   I feel like a lame duck.   Feels good to say all my thoughts and fears, it’s hard to admit where I am but I need to accept it and be honest with myself.  I think with anxiety you spend so much time pretending to be ok or pretending to be what you think appears normal and sometimes when you are really honest about it all and look at things the way they are it can be quite a shock to see yourself and how limited you have become.   Anyway, that’s my loud mind today, how are you all, what’s your mind telling you today? X

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    I was just the same. Didn't go out ..couldn't go in a shop at all or school or the doctors. I am now on 150mg and have just done a car boot sale this morning. Major improvement when I gradually increased to 150mg. Hang on in there..there is light at the end of that tunnel. Please keep posting.


  • Posted

    Living the exact same life atm, my only comforter is my mum because she’s been through it, I can’t even talk to someone on the phone or see other people because not only embarrassed but if they don’t understand they start thinking different things, every day is a struggle for me and feels like a nightmare that won’t go away, I’m praying as much as you are for all this to end 
    • Posted

      And I’m on Valium and better blockers to lower my heart rate and still a struggle, my mind never stops racing constantly and confused as in why is this happening to me even though I’m not the only one but it’s so hard not to think easy said then done 
  • Posted

    Heyya Laura, Sam here.

    I know exactly what you mean, it’s frustrating to say the least. But this is just the reaction of anxiety not the thoughts themselves. 

    My friend, you need to convince your mind that the anxious reaction is the problem, not the racing thoughts. 

    Occupy yourself and stop thinking “why is this happening to me” you’ll get sadder. Just think I’m taking treatment, soon I’ll be great and happy.

    Best of luck Laura !

  • Posted

    Thanks folks, it’s always re assuring when someone else sticks their hand up and says hey I get it so thanks for sticking your hands up.   My mind has settled down a good bit now, I think the first few hours after taking my meds I get heightened feelings but they calm as the day goes on, I am seeing sparks of normality so I know I am making progress even if sometimes I think I’m not.    Love to you all xx 
  • Posted

    Ive found that my pretending to be normal doesnt do anyone any good. It gives the observer the false idea that youre doing okay and you are just lying to yourself and them. 

    Ive taken the approach of being 100% honest(okay more like 99% lol) with the people around me. The ones that arent receptive i dont spend time with. I only acknowledge the people who can bear to know and speak about my situation in a friendly manner. 

    Not that they coddle the situation, but if you cant be around someone honestly you dont need to be around them at all. 

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