Love my band hate my band

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It's almost a year now since I took off to Le Have and had a gastric band inserted. I was a healthy 53 year old man who just happened to weigh 20 stone.

I hated my weight and the way I looked. I hatd shopping for a new suit, always quickly looking for 54" chest and then quietly leaving if the shop had nothing. (Even worse; being advised by a sales assistant on entry that they had no clothes that would fit me). I am a fairly senior sales leader in enterprise conputer software and over the past few years often missed out, at the last hurdle on a senior postion and was even advised, discreetly, by a recruiter that my weight worried the potential new employer.

A year later, I am 14.5 stone. More active than I've been in 20 years. I got the senior role and am earning more than I have for 15 years.

All us well.... except I hate meal times. You see, the fat man who wants to eat a big meal is always waiting to come out. And I let him. And I'm ill. I have to entertain colleagues and clients here and overseas. Often this ends up with me taking several trips to the bathroom to throw up, as I have ordered unwisely.

At home it is better, but for me the way it works is that I can eat a reasonable meal in the evening but very little beforehand. If (when) I do, I am inevitably sick.

I know the 20 20 20 rule and try to follow, but ithe is a)unnatural to me and b)appears odd in restaurants.

I'm getting better but it is a slow haul.

I used to live for meal times. It was my most favourite thing to do - even though I have a beutiful daughter and gorgeous attentive wife.

Now I dread eating. Especially in company. Doesn't stop me wanting to eat

But all that said, I'd do it again. In a heart beat. The price is high but the result is a prize worthy of such a cost.

If you're over weight - I urge you to to take a loan of you don't have the cash and pay for surgery. The conditions the NHS put on anyone with a BMI under 50 or 60 are so onerous that you'll be waiting for ever to get it done.

This could save your life. It did mine.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    congrats on a great wgt loss and turning your life around - with regards to eating out - have you considered just having a starter and a sweet and omitting the main crs when you dine out - have the starter served with everyone elses main - alternatively order something soft such as chilli, sheps pie, fish pie, fish cakes and leave the carbs and veges - eating out is a big part of my social life but there are ways around it - of course i have made unwise food choices and eaten too much and needed a trip to the loo when i was out - but generally if i get my head around it i can do it - and I believe you can do and that has got to be better than trips to the loo to PB

    getting a loan to pay for the surgery is not always an option for everybody and nobody should get themselves into debt  that they might struggle to repay - also a gastric band is not for everyone either - there are other types of wgt loss surgery which are more successful for certain types of eaters  and everyone should do lots of research into which is the best option for them - like you say, the NHS route can be time consuming and a long road but for many it is the only option though with co-morbidities i believe the BMI is substantially under 50/60 so i hope nobody will be put of by at least trying that route initially - good luck with your cont success

    • Posted

      Hi there - all good points and we all know what the right thing to do is, I get it right more often than I don't these days and all I want is another stone gone then I will be quite content.... not that I can go back to previous ways so the band is here to stay. I was told by the surgeon that it begins to lose its efficacy after three years, so I have until then to get everything in order.

      The band was right for me. The NHS not an option - I am in Warwickshire and the trust here required a bmi of 50 with xo-morbidity or 60 without. By that time I would be dead!

      Good luck you you also.

  • Posted

    Hi, I'm so interested in what you have to say as I am hoping to be lucky enough to have a gastric sleeve via nhs. I got through the first hoops and am now waiting for the next appointment filling in a huge form. I am 45 so not old but have been recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes which is my qualifying factor for having it on then NHS. But my biggest fear is not the op or the excess skin etc but the psychological factor of not sitting down to a lovely big dinner, spoken like a true tubby. To be fair most days during the week I eat very little due to running around my two daughters but at the weekend I tend to have a take away on a Saturday which I really enjoy and even miss out lunch to make sure I am hungry for it. How have you coped with not being able to sit down to a big meal. Is it only the feeling sick part that gets you down or is it the physical part of not being able to eat as much as you would like. How long ago was your op, my nephew had it done in Greece 10 months ago and he says he no longer wants big meals and it doesn't bother him but he is only 20 years old. Thanks for any insight you can give me

    • Posted

      I cannot speak for a sleave although I expect the eating experience is similar.

      Her3s how it goes .... if you remember to eat a forkful the size of 20 pence piece, cheers slowly 20 times before swallowing, wait 20 seconds between bites and only eat for 20 minutes you will be fine....

      If you forget this guide then the food can get stuck in your oesophagus without being digested, you sometimes get phlegm stuck with it and plenty of wind at the same time.... all of this needs to come back up and out of your mouth. It is known as a productive burp. It does not hurt. It is not like being sick in the normal manner but it isn't pleasant and can be awkward when you're with people.

      You will remember most of the time and so will be fine. When you forget it will help you remember better the next time.

      Good luck with it all

  • Posted

    Hi I would be very careful with the vomiting as I had same problem and my band has slipped and ias t was done privately now without funds to get it fixed I am stuck with the pain as the NHS do not want to help me

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