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Low libido, ED or Performance anxiety

Posted , 4 users are following.

asdfg25
asdfg25

Hey everyone, I'm really starting to run out of options and this case is incredibaly complicated, so I would be extremely thankful for ANY reply at all, cuz this is slowly killing me inside.

1. I'm a male, almost 26 years old

2. I have a healthy and beautiful relationship with my girl for several months now, but my desire for sex and my libido is extremely low that I'm starting to worry that It can damage our relationship.

The story is:

1. I have tested my hormones and testosterone levels, everything is completely normal and I'm really healthy. I checked up for a urologist visit this friday but until then maybe someone has a similiar situation.

2. I'm either scared of sex, i don't want it or i even thought that i'm asexual. I'm horny maybe once in 2 or 3 weeks. 

3. Each time we start foreplay, i lose interest in sex after 2 minutes or get semi-erect and I get so anxious and stressed out why is this happening. My girl is incredbily supportive and understanding, but I fear that maybe she thinks it's her fault or smth.

4. I get interested in sex for a short period of time only during day time, in evenings it's incredibly hard to make myself do it, maybe only in Saturdays or Sundays. When we have sex, it's really good and there are completely no problems, bet we have it maybe once in 2 weeks which in the long run can seriously damage the relationship. I'm quite surprised she still handles my s*it.

5. When we begin foreplay, I am too afraid I won't be able to maintain an erection or I lose the erection and this is starting to give me serious anxiety attacks when it happens, now also during daily things and work I can't stop thinking about this.

6. I am using ginkgo biloba, Zinc and even muira puama supplements just to increase my desire for sex but nothing seems to work. I even bought the famous SPANISH FLY and tried it on myself with absolutely no or very little results.

7. My girlfriend says that almost every night when I fall asleep I have several erections during the night, some of which can last up to several hours. After several days my penis hurts in the morning and I have 'blue balls' and only then I get interest in sex.

8. I really want my libido and general sex drive to increase dramatically, I have tried dieatary supplements, all kind of libido boosting herb teas, a ****ing spanish fly even, I just can't seem to get myself in the mood and it's driving me crazy. I've spent insane amounts of money on dietary supplements, libido boosters, herb remedies and with little or no result.

9. I even check up on myself to see if I can get an erection, just by watching some porn, just to be sure my penis 'works'. I watch porn, I make sure I get an erection, and it kind of calms me, but the problem still maintains, that I have a gorgeous, incredibly hot girlfriend and I WANT sex at least 3-4 times per week, but this is seriously messing with my head and I don't know what's the problem. 

10. I really want more sex because everything is great once we do it but I'm seriously afraid that I can't get or maintain an erection during foreplay which is driving me crazy.

Please, ANY advice would be appreciated (sorry for the bad grammar, my native is not English)

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Randall40
    Randall40 asdfg25

    Posted

    Hi there, it sounds like your dealing with what's called performance anxiety. I would think the fear of not being able to perform would cause you to lose interest , giving you the perception that your drive is diminished . The rule of thumb in e.d. Is take your age bracket in decades and this equals the percentage of time where you won't be able to perform . Example a 70 year old man may not be able to perform 70% of the time. That is considered normal.

    I think you should see a urologist to confront these issues and also make sure blood flow is normal.

  • mattuhsurol
    mattuhsurol asdfg25

    Posted

    I would definitely agree with checking on blood flow. If your night time erections are lasting that long then the return of blood to the body may be something to look.

    Adrenaline is a big issue for erections. Being worried about it can make things worse. This is far from an easy thing to do. There are a lot of issues that you mention about the way that you view yourself, your expectations of what you think you should be like plus all the pressure it sounds like you're putting yourself under. Talking all of things through would be very useful. A psychosexual counsellor would be very helpful. Have a chat to your Dr about psychosexual counselling

  • james88919
    james88919 asdfg25

    Posted

    What hormones and testosterone markers did you have tested? Total testosterone does not always tell the whole story. Make sure your free and bioavailable testosterone where also checked. It sounds like you may have more that one thing going on at a time, loss of sex drive and performance anxiety. They could be related or not. You should address both as one may help with the other. A sex therapist could work with you on performance and relationship anxiety and for a doctor you should probably talk to a endocrinologist too. It does not sound like you have any functional problem with getting erections (based on your night time erections). It is more likely a hormonal problem which an endocrinologist can help with and this makes sense based on you sex drive fluctating throughout the day (which is what most major hormones do). It could also be a neurotransmitter problem, are you taking and antidepressent medications (or any medications?). They can really damage the sex drive of some people. Finally are you circumcised? That can sometimes reduce sensation and pleasure which eventually leads to a loss of arousal or disire for sex in some men.
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