lowest I've ever felt...

Hi guys I feel like I'm going mad, lately if I hear that someone's died, It triggers something in me and my heart starts too race, feel like I'm going too pass out and I have too lay down. I just go into complete melt down, even if its in a film or TV show a build up to it just sends me into complete panic, this has started ever since I saw my grandad dead in the hospital over a year ago. When anyone starts too talk about death or someone dying I have too leave the room or I just don't want too talk about it, does anyone else feel like this?. I've suffered with Depression, Panic and Anxiety for years, I always had control over it.. But ever since he died I feel like I've completely lost it, I've never felt this low in my life. He died in 2013 it happened really quickly too I watched him diteariate, but I managed to hold it together and be strong for him, after he died I threw myself into work, whenever I would think of him I felt sick and would feel like I was going too pass out, then I switched off. It hit me this time last year that he passed and ever since I've been constantly up and down. I've never know symptoms to be so aggressive. Is it normal too feel this low? X

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