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I need some help with health anxiety at the moment. I know I'm terrified of my own mortality before I transition/ I'll start off I'm 14, and ever since last year I've been having skin problems. Last June, I started getting these weird red spots (I thought I had Leukaemia) whenever friction or heat was put on to wear I had waistbands, so underwear. This has come back occasionally but not much and I figured it was heat rash, but then in the winter I started getting itchy whenever I was lying in bed at night on the outside of my thighs. This stopped and really didn't worry me at the time, as it soon subsided. In May this year I got hit with a bout of health anxiety where I convinced myself I had Lymphoma because I felt lumps in my neck and then I got itchy, this is probably from reading the symptoms. I went to the Doctor's, and I was told there were no lumps in my neck as she couldn't feel anything and I was so happy. Then my sister got diagnosed with cancer the next week, crazy, right? Considering that the cancer she has (salivary gland) kept popping up when I was Dr.Googling, I thought it was my fault. However, since my sister recieved the diagnosis, my HA has become more frequent. I had it bad before but it was only roughly three times a year I'd convince myself I had cancer or some disease. However, I've now progressed into scaring myself my mum, dad and my other sister had cancer. They're fine, but I'm convinced I'm not. This Lymphoma fear has reoccured about three times since, and now it's back again. I've had some mild itching around my collar bone, sternum, top leg, and rib. It's surface area, although I say mild, sometimes it did feel deep especially when my leg was itchy and when I do itch hives come up and then disappear again? I thought I was getting bit at first. I've also had an itchy scalp but I think I've always had that. But now, of course I've read that people had itching for years before they got diagnosed with Lymphoma so I'm scared that I'm going to get symptoms in the future. I just don't want to die, not so young and I'm afraid. I'm afraid everyone I love is going to die and it's really not good. I'm so excited to transition and I want to get my GCSE results next year and join the RAF and most of all transition. This thing really holds me back from enjoying myself, anyone have any words of wisdom?
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