Major depression, I need some advice please

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I'm not really sure what else to do anymore, I've been very depressed lately and all anyone says is to get over it expecially my husband he says he supports me but days when I can barley get out of bed and I don't get the house cleaned I get yelled at, am I just being stupid? Alot has gone on in my life when I was young my mother was very abusive and I've just never seemed to be able to get over that. I've tried going to therapy but they just shoved so many pills down my throat I felt like a zombie and it's made me gain 50 lbs and that makes me feel worse about myself. I've thought alot about suicide lately but I don't ever think I would actually try it. I'm just trying to find someone that has been through this I'm not sure what else to do anymore.

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  • Posted

    Oh Sarah thats awful I feel for you it is awful. I am coming out of it now the doctor did increase my fluxotine but I have also been to have accupuncture tomorrow is only my third session but I must say it is working for me. This time last week I didnthink want to go out in have been going out even driving on my own and I feel so relaxed. I also do 10 minutes meditation so please try some of these and you will feel better xx
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  • Posted

    Ohhh sarah. My ? goes out to u. Xxx i had the same childhood although diff issues. Ive tried to put them in the past but its shaped who i am. I have broken that cycle for my daughter so she never has had the life i did. Its left me emotionally unstable & although in (recovery) of bulimia the weight gain with pills really bothers me. Although with this bout as always i never really eat or have an appetite when anxious, depressed, or suicidal so ive lost a lot of weight these last few mths xxx im so glad u have spoken on here to ppl who know how it feels. Unfortunately our loved ones even will struggle if they haven't gone thru it.. they try but it must be so hard also for them to see us so ill. Therapy over the yrs hasnt always worked for me sarah. Awaiting cbt @ mo. Who knows maybe this tym it cud work hey?? Thinking of u. Ur not alone now, mandy xxx

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  • Posted

    Sarah

    If you ever feel Suicidal you should always talk to your GP, make that appointment.

    If you need support straight away contact NHS Information Line on Tel111. Explain how you are feeling and they will triage then decide if treatment is needed. At this time turning up at A and E can be problematic and should only be done if you have done something that puts you at risk.

    Whatever you do please see your Doctor and explain how you are feeling, any feeling or consideration of suicide needs looking into and Depression is treatable, over time. Make a list of your fears and concerns and use that to explain your needs and concerns, this will save time at your Surgery.

    When I was young, like you I had a bad family and it took me decades to control and start a new life. Medications can and will make you put on weight, I am now 20stone, all caused in my eyes to medications I have taken over the years.

    It is sad when people we love cannot understand mental health issues, so it is up to you to try and explain how you are feeling. Sometimes a CPN can help with this.

    All I can say is I have suffered a great deal over the years, you are not alone. I am here

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Hello Sarah, oh hugs sweetie, I am in a very similar place to you. I am 53 and still not resolved issues that my mother should answer for. I have thought about being dead and on Sunday, I had to phone the Samaritans. Like you I don't think I would ever do it mainly because of the animals I have rd homes. How long has the depression been going on for.?

    All I want to do is sleep, I can only just get myself to work but sit crying at my desk. I am on 50mg sertraline, gp is sending me for more therapy but to be honest I have upped my meds to 75mg and that seems to have stopped the tears. I can oh empathise but everyone on here is lovely and supportive. I am sure we will get through this, my boyfriend doesn't understand and isn't that supportive either.

    Hugs xxx

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    • Posted

      Marie, I take the max dose for Sertraline/Zoloft... 200mg per day at one time. So you are at a very low dose. I also take Wellbutrin, which my doc gave me when I couldn't seem to stop crying. He also doubled my Sertraline from 100mgs to 200mgs, and that's where I have stayed for over 12 years now. I have Major Deoression and Anxiety with Panic attacks.

      So you have a ways to go. I hope your new dose will keep helping you, but if it is not enough to stop those awful crying jags, just remember you can talk to your doc about increasing your dose or even adding an additional med.

      I think maybe your boyfriend needs to be educated about the different types of depression, how meds help, etc, and make sure he realizes nothing you are doing (wanting to sleep, crying at work, having to call the Samaratans, etc. is you trying to get attention. Maybe there's a website you can find for spouses and partners...even family...of people who have depression, and what they need to know about it, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, how they can help their deoressed loved one. Not being validated by your loved ones can make your deoression worse.

      I wish you good luck and blessings, that if deoression is something that's part of your life, you can get it under control, and get the right dose for you so you can function as confidently as you can! 😀💟🐆

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  • Posted

    Its so hard going through this.  There are several of us going through it and pushing so hard to try to get some equilibrium back into our lives.  Even my dr has said she is at a loss what to try next as i dont fit the usuall criteria of using anti deps, they just don't do it for everybody.  Stay stromg and keep,the faith, this will surely pass.  There is a good group on this site so keep talking.

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  • Posted

    Oh dearly me. I'm forever getting yelled at! I get called lazy atleast 10 times a day. It seems like nobody else understands no matter how you try and explain it. I have felt just like you do now. It comes and goes. I previously saw a therapist and now I'm having cbt. Can't really comment on that much at the moment. I'm trying to be patient. I wake up everyday with no energy. Then I hate myself even more when the house is a mess as I feel I have let everyone down. I was at my wits end. I'm just trying to be as hopeful as I can right now. Hope by talking on here you will find support. 

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    • Posted

      Youre not lazy youre depressed wow when will ppl understand the symptoms of this illness and stop namecalling. God i know we wud all love the energy of an olympic athlete to conquer what needs doing each day. Mental illness is just that an illness not a choice. Wow it gets me annoyed..yr going to cbt charmcat trying to get well. U shud b applauded for keeping on through the treacle it feels like wen getting nowhere and being supported!!! All here for u. Xx hugs to u. Xxx
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    • Posted

      I really find this group as supportive as any doctor, I am at work right now but just need to sleep, and am slightly scared of the upcoming weekend because it was last weekend I was at my lowest. I can clean the animals out but really cannot be bothered with the house, we will get through this, I am sure xxx
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    • Posted

      Aww ive found its the best thing ive ever done. The support & being able to talk about how this feels with ppl who get it is wonderful!! Xxx u have us all now so this weekend will be brighter than yr last we gotta think glass half full xxx i know yr thinking and so am i but easier said than done xx

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    • Posted

      I couldnt have put it better myself Amanda. Yes it does feel like we trudging through treacle. Its so difficult!! People wind me up too. They just dont get it. And shouted till im blue in the face to make people understand. Aaarrrgggh. Iv just been signed off work for the week by the doc. I cant tell you how guilty i feel. Although work have assured me they just want me to get better. But i hate it. Cant help feeling ashamed. Xx
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    • Posted

      Again sounds just like me!! I cleaned my rabbits out the other day. It took some doing but i did it!! Then to get the shopping. Morrisons was so busy. Hated it. Felt so paranoid, sweaty and tight chested. Just cant help it x
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    • Posted

      Try your hardest to work on that.. its an illness. Plain and simple xxx now u must have needed the time off or the dr wouldnt have signed u off for a weeks rest. Ur employers sound nice dont b ashamed of a small part of u wired the wrong way. Ull get there x good luck xxx
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    • Posted

      Going to the shops is horrendous right now, I just about get to work because I can be quiet and colleagues know what is happening but I cannot even go for a walk to exercise, I don't want to leave the housed

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    • Posted

      Takes alot for me to leave the house. I hate myself for how long i take. And others hate it too. I wear alot of makeup. Always been my safety blanket. Its a confidence thing. Yea when im at work i soon get in the zone and it keeps me strong. Until the other day of course. Broke down it was awful xx
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    • Posted

      Oh yes. They are really good. They take it seriously. But i cant help feeling guilty being off. As this illness is not always visible., ie lioe a broken leg etc, its very hard to get across to people. And just how much i want to tell them x
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    • Posted

      Ive just got up bitten the bullet n started tidyin. Made sum breakfast and a cuppa. No appetite but know ive gota eat or i feel worse. Xxx
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    • Posted

      Well done Amanda, I got up and all I can do is lie on the couch. I fed the animals but one of the awful things is that I have a personal statement to right for post grad and the thought of it is making me feel sick. Complete self doubt and the tiredness and lethargy is dreadful

      How do you feel now xx

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    • Posted

      Well i started it but didnt finish im on the sofa!!! Really need motivation or something xx missing my daughter too as shes in france on a sch trip! Hoping shes having a fabulous tym n teary as shes so far away xxxx
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    • Posted

      Well, not till the end of March but I really need to start it, I have all the info but haven't the mental energy to do anything with it.

      How long is your daughter away for Amanda xxx

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    • Posted

      Does she help you through the dark times, not that you want to put it on anyone else but what can you do xxx

      Take it easy tonight, I am going to try and do an hour at the laptop and then give up for the evening. Take care sweetie xxxxxxx

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    • Posted

      Ok hun. U take care. I dont burden ppl with it she sometimes asks if im ok as i might be a bit quiet when anxious but i just say yes babe im fine just tired with all my tablets. As she knows im on so many fir migraines n gerd etc xxx but yes if i didnt have her as morbid as it is i wouldnt b here xxx
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