Male depression, do these tablets help?

Hi Sasha

These meds do work but they may take a very long time - it took me 6 months to fully recover, though it started around the 3-4 month mark.  Some people recover quicker and some even longer.  We're all different, but just let the meds do their thing in their own time.

Your man will be feeling quite rough at the moment - the first few weeks are the worst.  Anxiety is often heightened during this time making him feel worse than before being on the meds - but that will pass.  Each time he increases the meds he'll get the side effects and heightened anxiety again (this will pass too).

Early morning anxiety is the worst - there's a physical reason for this - someone posted recently about one of your hormones (or something) that is rife during the morning, and hence the spike in anxiety.  For me, as I recovered, the early morning anxiety was the last thing that went.  Even though every morning is dreadful, it doesn't mean this is how the rest of the day will pan out.

Yes you're right - him pushing you away isn't the 'real him'.  He's not well and is just trying to deal with emotions the best he can see at the moment.  Just let him know you're there for him.

Anxiety and depression do seem to change people - and of course this medication makes it worse to start with - they feel absolutely dreadful and are just trying to make head or tail of it all, as well as deal with their feelings.

You just need to give these meds time to work.  Don't hurry up through the doses - a bigger dose will not make you recover any quicker than a lower dose.  Each person is suited to different doses.  I recovered on 20mg - some people need 30mg and a few 40mg.

Everyone who has anxiety fights it - which is the worst thing to do (though its the most natural your body wants to do).

He can get over this - I'll private message you with some info.

K x

Hello Sasha......

I can identify with what more or less everyone has said about anxiety in the replies you've received. My own anxiety came from irregular heartbeat (PAC's) which I have had since 1973, and have come and gone over the years. This ultimately generated anxiety symptoms which were absolutely ghastly, as all sufferers will testify. I asked my GP to prescribe Sertralene which multiplied the anxiety and brought with it awful side effects. On recommendation by a psychiatrist, who is also a friend (who said that the Sert. was clearly not working for me), I switched to Citalopram - 2mg at the outset.. Despite strong anti-arrhythmic medication (Flecainide - 250 mg per day), the PAC's continue to break though periodically = heightened anxiety level. I upped the Cit to 3 mg which worked quite well for most of the time  although anxiety symptoms sometimes break through - always in the morning -  and fade away during the day. I have a certain amount of leeway with both the Flec. and the Cit. so it's a bit of a balancing act to achieve optimum reduction in the symptoms - which  I'm working at.

I think it is very helpful to have a rational explanation of these kind of symptoms; to be able to compare notes with other sufferers on this forum, and to sympathise - and empathise - with them.

Best wishes,

Donald

Dear Sasha ... katecogs is nothing but positive and thoughtful caring person on this celexa experience/journey of hers .her caring for people on this forum is unprecedented..take care

I'm so confused about what is going on lol.

Thank you for your replies and taking the time out to talk to me x

Sasha, 

I can only say with my very limited use of a/d's (I was put on for the first time last year) that it is patience and waiting for the side effects to diminish which takes quite a long time.  I think you have to be patient with your fiance and yourself.  Ultimately, it is up to your fiance if he wants to take them but the more research you do the better.  This IS a forum for support for those who have chosen to be on them so the member who continues to portray them as negative should not be on here. Just inform yourself as best you can. Katecogs has been extremely helpful to people on here and there are people who absolutely need the SSRI's. It is very confusing and I still get confused myself but if he needs something, then this is a start.

Jo x 

Hi Sasha, so sorry the hear.  I have been on both sides. I have had acute clinical depression and I have cared for a loved on with it.  There is no easy answer other than to be strong, be patient and trust that it will work out.  These meds can take a while to have a positive effect. Even then, there maybe blue days but it does get better. From my own experience, people that get through this tend to be more loving, understanding and caring because it takes them to the darkest of places and they are grateful for having got through it.  It is exhausting being a carer because the illness can be so self absorbing and almost selfish. Believe me, a sufferer has very little control over this.  Depression makes you believe that you will never get better and you can start to push loved ones away. Stick with him, support him and take time for you to get a break from it. Keep the faith and keep chatting on this forum. Take great care. Markx

Hey Sasha, it is horrendous being on the other side. You feel almost helpless because there is nothing you can do to help fix it. SOmetimes the more you try, the more frustrated the sufferer gets. THen you back off and they feel like you are not supporting them. THis will test all your patience. THe anxiety in the morning is horrific for sufferers. I am a happy, outgoing family man with a good job. But at times, I wanted to end my life. This is the illness talking, not me. I have set up and run support groups for sufferers to share my experiences because it really helps. Hang in there. There are a couple of really good books which will help you understand what he is going through. The first is called. Depression, the curse of the strong by TIm Cantopher,. Get it off Amazon. It will really help you see why this illness tends to affect kind, loving and strong people more.  There is another book called 'The recovery letters' by James Whithy.  This is a book full of letters written by sufferers. It is for people who are on your side of the fence too. Again it will give you a great understanding of what your fiancé is going through and how people do recover.  Try not to panic. Keep at it, it will end but it will test you. Take care x

Remember that's not him talking, it is the illness. It makes you believe and do things you would not normally do. It can be a very selfish illness because you push away anyone who does not understand. I talk to loads of people about it and we all have a similar experience. I am currently completing a counselling diploma as my goal is to help others through this, including those who care for those going through it. If you type in supportdads into google  (I think it is the 3rd link on the search page) you will see a website I set up. I have not done much with it recently but it gives an outline of what I am trying to achieve. You are not alone either. Try to find support groups in your area for carers because what you are dealing with can be extremely scary. Shout if you need any more help. Mark

Hi Sasha,

You WILL find great support here. Standup Katecogs, I think there is a John059 and they all give great support. There are many others too but I can't recall the names.  Katecogs doesn't even need to be on here since she is fully recovered but she knows the horrendous time we have.  If it weren't for her and others, I don't know where I would have been. She's a lovely soul who has been through a lot and gives freely of her time and experience.

When I started on the cit last year, I didn't even have anxiety as a symptom but it came on full steam with the cit and is one of the single most commonly talked about symptoms here so if you can get your fiance to understand that, he's ahead of the game knowing it's not just him.  You will find many say, they were happy individuals who have succumbed to this illness. If the city work for him, he WILL be back on track but it is a very rough road so he (and you) need to know that.  Keep coming here and like I've said get to the old posts. I used to copy/paste some of them so I could quickly refer to them when I was in a place I didn't want to be.  

They say one in five get treated for depression/anxiety but they realistically think it's one in three because many are not treated so you are not alone.  They also say with todays technology and less and less socialization, depression will be the number one mental illness in the next twenty years.   

We are never our real selves with this illness. It's a horrible thing to have and until they come up with something without the terrible side effects, we will have to use what we have.  

If the meds are working for him, one of the things you will read the most about people who have succeeded is to STICK IT OUT. It's not a joyride but the anxiety will lessen over time.  

Best Jo x

 

Should read If the CIT work for him (not city)