1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

Posted , 268 users are following.

Ihateweed89
Ihateweed89

Hi,

In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.

The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.

Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.

I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.

I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.

Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.

Please help me. I’m desperate.

45 likes, 522 replies

522 Replies

Prev
  • abarzaga
    abarzaga Ihateweed89

    Posted

    I thought i was the only person this had happened to until I read this post. Ive been suffering from the same symptoms most of my life. Hoping you have been strong enough to endure fight through the suffering. Would love to be able to chat with you and compare our experiences.
    • ilyar03542
      ilyar03542 abarzaga

      Posted

      Chat we me, as I believe he is not active on this post anymore. I have been through many similar stuff that has lasted for more than two years now.

      I would like to know about symptoms and what exactly the professional and personal diagnosis are.

      I would like to know what has proved more effective or less effective.

      Finally please let me know about the feedback you have received from close family members as they can be highly valuable. 

  • Izem
    Izem Ihateweed89

    Posted

    I experienced the exact same situation for 2-3 years, I wanted to die; everyday was hell. All my cognitive functions were f****d up + fatigue, sadness ..... (I still I have some symptoms but it is getting pretty well). After a fail with ZOLOFT, my psych prescribed me DEROXAT 5-6 months ago and slowly but surely, the symptoms are going away. Try this, and hopefully it'll get better for you too !

    Love

  • idk99602
    idk99602 Ihateweed89

    Posted

    I noticed that this post is 5 years old and I doubt anyone will see this, but I have to try. I have this exact same issue and have been searching for almost 2 years trying to find someone with the same problem and/or a solution. I found one other person who's story was just like mine and I freaked out because I thought I was hopeless. Unfortunately the website I was on doesn't allow you to IM users, and on top of that it was from 18 years ago. I used to love weed. So much. I smoked every single day and it helped tremendously with my depression, anxiety, and just life! Then one day, the absolute worst day of my life, I smoked with a couple bodies and had the worst panic attack I have ever had. It was horrifying. Little did I know from that point on I could never smoke weed. Every time I even touched weed I would have the same panic attack. I talked to so many people, spent days, weeks, months researching online and everyone says the same s**t. 1.) wrong strain of weed 2.) I need a tolerance break 3.) I'm smoking too much or too little. The list goes on. I have tried absolutely every possible thing I have ever read or been told, and nothing... NOTHING has worked. I have contemplated suicide because of this. Sure it may sound stupid to end your life because you cant smoke weed anymore, but weed was my life. All of the people I surrounded myself with were potheads. Weed gave me friends. Weed made me 100x more creative than if I were sober. Now all of my friends today are the stoners I met back then, and I can't smoke. Anyways I think I got my point across. If ANYONE is reading this and A. has a solution. or B. knows wtf i'm talking about. PLEASE REPLY

    • jope77013
      jope77013 idk99602

      Posted

      its that time to now stop i guess and change friends if they cnt understand u. dnt wait till u relapse

    • linds00809
      linds00809 idk99602

      Posted

      I know what weed can do, you probs thought of it as your best friend, now its gone it's that sorta situation where you think what am I gonna do now?

      I have done weed myself, a couple times, and honestly only when I was younger did I find it give me bit of a buzz, but as I have grown up and whenever try it, it actually makes me feel more irritable, sleepy, confused etc, like not really sure what I'm doing kinda thing so I don't touch it. However I have seen people who really really need it, like everyday, especially an ex of mine, whenever he was out though it would seem like he was always paranoid, his eyes looked so tired, you could tell straight away he was high, I never judged him, nor would really say it to him except help but I could tell what was happening, sometimes he would take extra drugs just to get more of a boost and honestly he embarressed himself.... alot!

      When your the one on the weed you can't really see how your acting, how you look, etc until you see other people do it, and your sober off it. It's like saying if someone is sober from alcohol, then they meet up with their friends who are drinking a lot, making a fool outta themselves and your the most soberest person there you can kinda see what it does to someone...

      It's good you realise you have a problem, your friends though, if need it everyday sound like they are in denial or something... But that's their choice and it has nothing to do with you if they want to continue.... But you need to think of yourself... You never know one of your friends is probably thinking the exact same as you i.e. wanting to get off it but just cant. If you show a positive side and life without weed and thc etc they might see it, and they may want to step up and want to change.

      I myself do take cbd but without the thc, it helps calm me down and helps for pain in my leg, however I don't talk it everyday.

      Hope this helps

  • sami55706
    sami55706 Ihateweed89

    Posted

    I agree. New friends are in order and maybe some therapy. I never touch the stuff anymore.

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.