Marital problems ,anxiety?

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 My wife never wants to be around anybody but myself and her mother, has no friends other than myself,never wants to be intimate or initiate sex,always seems to be tired and full sleep early every night.just to name a few.

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  • Posted

    This is my first time posting anywhere or speaking to anybody about this.just recently after speaking to my cousin he said he had similar issues with his wife.but after he spoke to me I realized the similarities were very close to one another.i'm 43 and my wife is 42 were coming up on our 16 year anniversary and we have been together for 25 years.my wife has always more or less been very quiet around crowds and never really had many friends whatsoever if any. But I'm a very easy laid-back guy who can

    talk to anybody or jump in any conversation.I love my wife very much but over the years things of gotten how can I put it more difficult.I enjoy having my wife with me

    whenever I go out and I have a few good friends were like spending time with. But

    she would never want to go out and then give me grief for going out and leaving her home even though she was more than welcome to come.and I guess a lot of the problems can be that she just does not know how to relax she goes in the morning and doesn't stop until about 8 o'clock when she lays down on the couch and goes to sleep or tries to watch TV but ends up falling asleep in between.i've always been what you would say very sexual person and my wife is beautiful and sexy even after all these years I want to be with her all the time.i'm also a little hands-on which I'm sure gets on her nerves sometimes but I guess I'm just looking for some type of physical attention from her without me having to initiate.over the years I've poured my heart out and told her things that I wanted or needed and things get better for a week and she seems to forget I don't know I would do anything for my wife anything she wanted or needed I would take care of she just doesn't seem to think the same way I do when it comes to my needs. and you know sometimes when you get in arguments you say things that you shouldn't or just can't get out all the feelings that you like her to know.about six weeks ago I started to see American counselor she refused to go but mostly I was just going hoping that after a few weeks she would maybe go and speak to somebody that did not work out well.I started distancing myself from her a little bit not being angry or mean I just wasn't holding your hand like normal or I was avoiding touching her in anyway because I want to see if she even noticed that I wasn't being my normal self.so after six weeks and me not initiating sex there for me not getting any sex I became a little irritable hurt angry,and didn't know what to do so instead of in the heat of an argument I sat down over a couple weeks and wrote her a two page letter on how I felt.and on a day that everything went great we were having a good day just relaxing I told her that I had something I wanted her to do and that I didn't want to argue about anything that I just want to get these feelings off my chest I gave her the letter and went out for couple of hours.when I got back she didn't say much the next day it was kind of World War III needless to say and it doesn't surprise me she took it entirely the wrong way even though most of the letter I was confessing my love to her but telling her you know what I needed and why I I need to be loved not just mentally but physically .she knows what I want I don't have to go through that with her it's just that I don't understand she just does not do anything that I've suggested even after hints or being as nice as rain more than I normally at which I'm a really good guy.i'm really getting to the point where I don't know what to do I don't want to lose her and she refuses to see anybody or talk to anybody and since she has no friends other than her mother I'm not quite sure what I should do.I know ultimatums really work out the way you want but like I mentioned earlier my cousin was having similar issues and told his wife that she need to see somebody and get help or he was

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    • Posted

      Hi Marc......I've had a read at ur post and it's possible that ur wife does suffer anxiety or depression...... What u have posted sounds exactly like me ATM and I have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety, looking back over time I realise that I have been suffering for a while but if anyone had of said that i had anxiety I would have thought they were mad!! but I started to get physical symptoms which prompted me to go to my gp and when I had a few tests etc and all was ok i was told it was anxiety....I'm now on meds for it and still having an awful time but I can now think a bit more clearly and realise how I was treating my hubby.....the only advice I can give u is to try to get her to see her gp as not everyone gets physical symptoms and I no if I hadn't i would still be plodding along in my own we bubble xx
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    • Posted

      I think that sounds about right.im not sure what to do,it's been going on for a long and am at my wits end.she pretty much refuses to go see anyone.playing it be ear at this point.
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    • Posted

      I really hope it works out for you.....the only thing I can say if it is depression r anxiety it's a horrible thing and she will be using every ounce of energy physically and mentally to deal with it even if she's not aware she has it x
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  • Posted

    Going to leave her but if you make ultimatums like that they may have consequences that you do not intend like I said I don't want to lose my wife but if she wants seen one how can I help this issue.thanks for listening I know it was a little long and drawn out and I probably missed a lot of stuff but I guess you see where I'm coming from I would just like to have my old wife back.and get a little living here and there. Sorry I'm a guy and I love sex and I love to be with my wife and for me that's a big part of any marriage the other things will usually fix themselves hopefully
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  • Posted

    hi marc sorry to hear your wifes having problems ! has shes ever being to the doctors to see if she has depression ! thats what it sounds like shes having a problem liking her self never mind being to initiate sex ! marc have you ever suggested going with her to seek help which might help her it.would help because my wife went to my appointments and she was a great support to me getting well please keep in touch and let me know how things progress good luck marc
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    • Posted

      I went to a marriage counsler for7week only hoping that she would try but she would not go with me or without me.i think I would realy help her but i truly think it will come down to me giving her an altimatium to get help.that how stubborn she is.i know seeing someone would help because if she has a couple of drinks she loosens up and is her old self again.so I think she needs some type of prescription to help her.thx for the advice
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