Married 35 years, going through a divorce, decided to get tested.

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My husband of 35 years came home a few weeks ago and told me he filed for a divorce. No warning, nothing. He's unhappy. I decided to get tested for everything there is. I'm positive for both HSV-1 and HSV-2. I've never had an outbreak that I know of. I've never even kissed another man over my 35 year marriage. What are the odds that he doesn't carry the antibodies as well? I would think that even if I brought this into the marriage he had to have been exposed at some point over 35 years. He frequents strip clubs and pays for oral sex. There has been past behavior that was forgiven after counseling - I think that's when I got it - or since then. What if I file this in the divorce and he doesn't have it? What are the odds? That's my immediate concern. I'll focus on my future once I get through this nightmare!

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    You may not even have it. Depends on the type of blood test you had done and your numeric results. Herpes blood tests, in particular, are less reliable than some others.
    • Posted

      My test results say I do! I blood test was 

      HSV 1 and 2-Specific Ab, IgG

      My numbers for 1 are 13.5 and for 2 are 5.54

      HSV 1 and 2 IgM Abs, Indirect

      both of these showed negative.

    • Posted

      IgM is unreliable and can be disregarded, hence why I was asking about the test type. IgG is the one to do, and you do have both from the looks of it unfortunately. The HSV2 value is on the higher side to be a false positive, but there's a slim chance that it could still be. I was hoping it would be lower or that your tests were IgM only.

    • Posted

      So, back to my initial question. I've only been with him for 35 years. What are the chances that he would not be positive to both?

    • Posted

      Another thought. In the US first time mothers are tested for STI's along with many other tests during the first trimester. If I didn't have it then - I got it from my husband with certainty.

    • Posted

      Is testing for herpes standard during pregnancy? It isn't in many other places. Even so, herpes tests back then were even less reliable than the ones now. Honestly, in your situation, I would probably first consider doing the University of Washington western blot to know for sure, just in case there's a chance (no matter how slim) the HSV2 is false.

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