Maybe I just don't deserve to be happy!!!

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I can remember back when I was in high school a dark cloud would always seem to hover over me. I'm well into adulthood now and can totally say I'm never truly happy. Ever! I always worry about things money, food, health, anything to make me miserable at the time. I am so drained physically and mentally because this is a feeling I've dealt with for about 20 years. It comes and goes but when it does come I can't think about anything else. I just wanna seclude myself and cry. I often think to myself maybe I don't deserve to live a happy life as apparent as others around me live.

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  • Posted

    Hi Dannie isn't it always the case? We are all always looking for the bigger better deal you know often in the search for greener pastures we forget to look around and take in the beauty that already surrounds us ya know what I mean by that?

    Everyone wants something you know whether it be more popularity a better job people pertray a perfect life to those on the outside of it believe me I've done nothing else but that for as long as I can remember we are our own worst enemies you know your doubting yourself etc not being happy with how your life is is completely normal believe it or not those people you speak of with their happy lives they struggle too sometimes

    I'd say to consider going to the doctors explain how your feeling from now till then keep a log a dairy of exactly how your feeling when you feel low and cry write it down write why your crying it'll help vent your emotions because even tho you've told nobody it'll feel like you have I call mine Sam I humanised it so I can say I've told Sam about how I am feeling Sam will come the Drs with me and he will sit and explain better than I could ever recollect my memory alone how I was feeling at that point

    This may sound like I'm crazy but trust me it works a lot better than I am able to explain go get some help from the gp Dannie you deserve that much you want a happy life and you shall have one but first you got to take action to get it you see where I'm going with this right you need some help to resettle mind thoughts going a thousand miles an hour through your head is no good when you have to focus on one of them so slow it down for yourself things will look a whole lot clearer when you start to put it down on paper good luck

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  • Posted

    Hi dannie yr not alone. Im not doing too good @ the moment so not much good to give my usual advice. Except to say ur not crazy.... what's normal anyway!!! As superflous said yr mind races this illness is so cruel in that it tells you every bad thing in yr head about yrself & we cant see past it. Talk on here there a great bunch xxx

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