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Medication can't help BPD Depression

Posted , 5 users are following.

ted46777
ted46777

I've been suffering from depression and addiction now for about 5 years. Its let to several hospitalisations, job loss, friends loss. Its ruined me.

I should add that my diagnosis was previously said to be depression and Borderline-personality-disorder BPD.

Im wondering if anyone or there shares my story.

After 5 years on Max dose of effexor it was decided to try something new. I thought this was great. It gave me optimism and since hope

However the doctor told me that the psychs report is that medication will have little to no effect on me. So hence no relief over the last 5 years..

I'm wondering had anyone else come across suffering from bpd and depression and if they were on medication that helped at all.

To be honest I'm so upset and disappointed now I'm borderline suicidal.

The only positives in my story have been the winning of 2 addiction battles. But I've no happiness in any 24 hours of my life

Ted

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Sadly
    Sadly ted46777

    Posted

    Hi Ted

    Im so sorry to hear the desperation in your post and clear sense of hopelessness this outpatient opinion has brought to you... I suffer from Schizoaffective disorder not BPD but as such have experience the depths of depression at times and been on many medications and different treatments including ECT.

    im writing because during my hospital stays I've met many people suffering with BPD and depression and spoke with them at length about their journeys through mental health care. It feels so dismissive of your psychiatrist to make such a sweeping statement " medication will have little or no effect" One thing I picked up is that like all of us suffering with MH problems people with BPD respond differently to different medications and treatment. I'm wondering if you've been tried on a low dose antipsychotic alongside an antidepressant or a mood stabiliser - there are just so many different drugs and combinations of dtugs that could potentially offer you some relief.

    if you feel able it may be worth asking for a second opinion? You are entitled to a second opinion if you don't feel happy about the decisions your psychiatrist has made. Could you talk more to your go about the way this dismissal has made you feel? There are in some areas of the country mental health advocates who can help you with these things - if you contact your local Mind or Rethink they should be able to put you in touch if there are services available.

    please keep talking and don't give up - you've clearly come through so very much thus far x

    • ted46777
      ted46777 Sadly

      Posted

      Hi Sadly.

      That was the very best post ever i read here. It was sympathetic, will sourced, and real.

      You're right. I'm on a low dose antipsychotic... Risperdal. I thought this helped me. The troughs of heights and lows didn't seem as bad.

      But yesterday i was just dissapointed and depressed hearing meds won't work. It seemed so final. Like your ill and that's it for ever more. I never believed meds would be a miracle cure but thought it would help. I've been on the same bloody thing for 5 years.

      Now i feel powerless over the disease. I really again feel suicidal. The reason i haven't done that before is cos my doc saved my life and he said if i killed myself they'd be an inquest and he'd be in trouble.

      But now it's more like any should i keep living, not why should i die.

      Well end of story is I'm completely pessimistic and see no end.

      It's a bit strange, sometimes i wish i was sicker so I'd have to be treated more. Like full blown schizophrenia it something.BPD is like, we know your depressed, we know you don't think straight, but try to get over it.

  • rachh
    rachh ted46777

    Posted

    Hi ted x

    I wanted to say hi cos some of your comments sound just like me .. I too was told medication wouldn't work after being tried on so many .. I've been seeing different doctors since I was 18 I'm not 33 and over the years I have just gotten worse and well I do think the older you get the less help you get because no one seems to care anymore , it's like they think you should snap out of it over the years.. and grow up,

    I really do hope it's different for you and the area you are in makes a lot of difference..

    Well done for kicking the addiction, for that I hope u can see the strength you have inside and be proud.. altho it's hard for a pessimist to see any good 😊 I should know as I am exactly the same.

    I guess I don't have anything useful to really say I just wanted to make sure u know ur not alone xxx (even tho I hate when people say that to me cos saying it never makes u feel less alone)

    Hope ur feeling okay well as okay as u can

    Talking to like minded people can help xxx

    • ted46777
      ted46777 rachh

      Posted

      Thanks rachh. That's a nice post. I'm very smilar to you actually. I've been seeing doctors since 16 and 32 now.

      Yes i do feel that they give up. At this stage in basically bring told go away and make friends then come back.

      If youd a broken leg that kept mending incorrectly they wouldn't just do nothing.

  • unforgiven
    unforgiven ted46777

    Posted

    Hi Ted,

    I don't have much productive to say, so feel free to skip this post.  I at least wanted to let you know one more person is hearing you and thinking of you.

    BPD is a real demon, and to rub salt in the wound it has the dumbest name of any mental illness.  Why don't they change that?  Anyway.

    One bright spot - We know your doctor is full of s**t in saying nothing can help you.  How do we know?  Look at the science, it simply does not support his claim. One article here:

    Of course, he's the expert.  If he has evidence let's see his citations/links to research from respected, peer reviewed journals.  More likely he's simply forming an opinion based on his personal experience with patients.  We call that anecdotal evidence, aka not science, aka b******t upon which generalizations cannot be made.

    Btw, it's good you take pride in your addiction victories.  Addiction is not some kind of character flaw for losers.  We are pushed toward it by a desperate need for relief and anyone who beats it knows something about good character, namely courage. It's hard to be courageous when it's invisible, and you're still doing it without people cheering as you carry children out of a burning building.  No disrespect for Fireman those guys are brave and sacrifice lives, but I wouldn't mind a little glory for courage that's not always fully appreciated.

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  • ann55375
    ann55375 ted46777

    Posted

    I too have anxiety and depression and BPD.   I have tried so many tricyclics, ssris, snris etc over four years, still not better. I have suicidal ideation which I can control from time to time.  It is when i feel so low that nobody can help me. The mixture of these conditions seems to prevent psychiatrists from treating this.  I know so many who have had depression and a quick use of anti deps fixes them.  Not me. Still struggling.  Can you see any way forward?  What medications have helped at all?  I am over 60 and just feel they dont care anymore.
    • ted46777
      ted46777 ann55375

      Posted

      Thanks for all your posts. Everyone's been brill.

      Thanks 2unforgiven for the scientific approach.

      Why I'm so angry is all the literature says keep trying meds and combinations till one works.

      I've been on effexor for 5 years with no additions, no changes, no effect.

      Im really starting to lose hope. I'm thinking at my next psych appointment next month in gonna stop all my depression related meds since thet "don't work" according to the psych and the doctor.

      Then I'll suffer on for a few months, I've been suffering years now, and I'm just gonna end it all towards the end of the year. I can't bear it anymore. There's no help. There's no light at the end of the tunnel.

      Ive tried kicking addictions, tried therapy, tried making friends, tried groups, tried hospital.

      I'm gonna make my peace and say look things will be hell for the the next 40 years, or however long i live, and just do it. People will be hurt ya but at this stage I've done everything so it's not like i haven't tried.

      If the doctor is right and meds don't work, what am i meant to do? I've been regularly going to therapy and that doesn't work so if he's giving up... I'm giving up.

    • ann55375
      ann55375 ted46777

      Posted

      Oh Ted we must not do that. There must be some combination to help us.  BPD is bad enough, like you been on same anti dep for three plus years. Nothing else tried has worked.

      surely there must be something out there for us.  Have you been on maois I hold out hope there. Good for anxiety and depression. Once they are controlled im told cbt will deal with bpd.  Worth a try?

    • ann55375
      ann55375 ted46777

      Posted

      you said youhad battled with addiction was one diazpam as im having that now.
    • ted46777
      ted46777 ann55375

      Posted

      No i had two addictions, that I'll admit to. Once was alcohol the other was hard core pain killers .

      But I'm self medicating now with xanax. What's your addiction like? How did it start? Does your doc know and is they're any plan?

      For me xanax started out as a way to prevent self harming which I'd been doing. When i felt like self harming id take a xanax and relax. Now it's developed into when i get a crying fit out start to feel really suicidal I'll take xanax and lie down.

      I'm using it as a crutch against the hell i go thru daily.

      I know full well I'll get addicted. I think i could stop now. I stopped for 3 weeks lately just to see. But it's the only thing i can do to not cut myself or end in a spiral of suicidal crying and planning.

      Ted

    • ann55375
      ann55375 ted46777

      Posted

      Hi Ted,

      you have done very well seeing off your addictions.

      however, like meyou are using xanax which is same group as my diazepam

      yes, when the overwhelming feelings of suicidal ideation come upon me i take them.  Its all ive got. Seems to calm me down a bit but never know when it will hit again.

      i just want to feel normal again and be able to do what i did.

      i dont know what med if any can bring me back.

      try not to do any planning if you can. It helps a bit to deviate even just onto newspaper or such.

      i feel for you, i can see were going through same things. Hard for us all.

      any help is always welcome

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