Memory loss

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Hello everybody, sorry I've spent sometime away from you guys but my mother was very ill and died 3 months ago. I'm just exhausted with grief. But one thing I wanted to ask advise for is memory loss forgetting words I frightened now to have conversation with friends because I keep forgetting what name of something is or what I was going to was going to talk about. This is extremely embarrassing for me. Also I can walk into a room ,and forget what I was going in to get, also can start making something, then something happens to distract me ,and I forget what I was doing. I'm terrified , my mum had dementia and my grandmother took it in her late 60 I'm 52. Am I taking dementia too.?  Or is this normal for a fibro/ME patient. I had this a long time ,but I don't remember my memory loss as bad as this. Please help !!!!


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  • Posted

    Hi Mary95550

    I had to reply.  First of all so sorry to read you lost your mother, as you said you are exhausted with grief and I am sure on top of the fibromyalgia this will more than likely be the cause of your memory loss. 

    I still lose words, even having a full blown conversation I suddenly stop and forget what we were talking about.  I have sat on the stairs in tears because I had forgetten what I wanted so many times I was up and down those stairs until I dropped.  The worry and upset made me worse, so here is what I did...

    I would write notes/reminders on my hand

    use post it notes (for the other me later who forgets)

    use my phone and laptop for alerts and appointments

    I have a chalk board for reminders, I keep it near the kettle so I see it often.

    If you walk into a room and forget what you wanted, write it on a note as soon as you remember and take it with you.  Think of yourself as two people.  One who remembers for the other you later.

    Tell people to bear with you, talk about it, laugh about it.

    If anyone gets frustrated tell them to bugger off.  I wouldn't treat someone like that so I wont let them treat me like it.

    I had alot of upset and worry on top of my fibro which made me much worse, I was also suffering from depression

    It comes in waves now, but to me I know now whats wrong, I accept it now and it seems easier to cope with.  I still dont cook certain things as I had left a pan on the hob and I am 43.

    I also try to do things straight away, like pay a bill, return a phone call.  Otherwise, ive forgotton all about it.

    sometimes I simply can not even fill out an application form.  So I leave it a few days (where I can see it) until the fog clears. 

    Warning:  My cheeky children have often said I have forgotten to take them somewhere or give them extra pocket money....

    I hope I have reassured you, it does seem to be a normal but difficult symptom.  Talk to your GP, if they dont offer support find another one!


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  • Posted

    I want to assure you that this is very common with fibro. I can understand your concern as dimentia runs on both sides of my family but on the other end of the spectrum every single woman in my family on both sides for 2-3 generations (except my youngest sister) have fibro so that's much more prevalant in my family and I'm more confident of what is caused by fibro in those cases.

    Fibro fog is a problem to varying degrees for all the women in my family. I started getting it extra bad around the time I turned 30. Prior to that I experienced a lot of distraction and forgetting what words I mean to say since I was a teenager, getting lost about why I had walked in a room around mid twenties and complete blank outs of entire conversations or what I'm doing mid activity around 30.

    My mothers memory was so terrible as far back as I could remember that it was a huge family joke and she was in her early twenties. It actually got slightly worse in the recent two years but I think that has to do with the stress of losing her parents.

    I've also seen a lot of people on this forum talk about the same symptoms, you are not alone but I am sorry you are experiencing that fear and embarrasment.

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  • Posted

    My sincere condolences to you for your loss Mary..  Losing your mum is a terrible grief...  You will be under stress, dealing with grief all on top of the dam Fibro..  

    Don't be fearful ofgetting actual dementia, it may never actually happen!   Yes we have our memory issues on the spot, but we don't actually lose any memory.  Big difference.  It's just our brain processing on the spot can have delays getting to our memory/s, forming the sentence because we track of word finding, our processing slows down also with brain fatigue, much like our bodies muscles do.

    I also took steps to aid myself with memory, just the very same steps as Teddy did.  AND I still do, especially during the bad days..

    Yes I also would advise folk to take no notice if I ever begin to waffle, lose track etc.. and would explain why it is this way with me....Fibro..CFS  YES , I joke about it to and make light of it all to folk, as that way it helps and aids me to 'relax' myself mentally, about myself.

    When you relax about yourself, your brain isn't going tense and you fighting it/yourself...  Your better able to cope, and also your periods of delayed processing impove quicker...

    You have nothing to worry or fear, that's the main thing..  BIG hugs xx

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  • Posted

    Hello Mary95550 Sincere condolences to you on the loss of your mum.  Memory problems are part of fibro unfortunatly. I noticed my memory was getting worse. so what my gp did was to refer me to a memory clinic. The nurse I saw did different tests. The tests were to rule out Alzheimers, the nurse told me she had seen 8 people, all of whom had fibro and were having the same problems. I can understand your concern with your mum having dementia. For peace of mind I would speak to your gp about your concerns, and see if they would refer you to a memory clinic. I have noticed my memory along with fibro has worsened this past year. Take care
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  • Posted

    Absolutely do..i forget what i went in the fridge for even

    i especially foget what im talking about at times in the middle of

    my own conversation, I really thought it was a tumour or something

    but it was what is called "brain fog" we just about all get it too, i

    imagine you've been very stressed over loosing your so sorry to

    hear of you loss..Stress is a great meal for fibro, it just loves it, the

    less stress the better, please try not to over worry mary, be

    blessed and have a lovely day..😍😍😍😍

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  • Posted

    Thank you dear friends for all your heartfelt replies, I really appreciate each and everyone off you taking the time to reply. And I heartened by them all because I don't feel like I'm on my own, with this problem the fear has gone. And as many of you all said I'm exhausted with grief anyway, so it makes things doubly hard.i will start writing notes everywhere , as Teddy recommended  I have been falling asleep everywhere as well. I didn't realise a loved one death can take so much out off a person , and with having both Fibro and ME it's even more difficult. This is such a complex disability and it affects every aspect of your health, but for me it's relief ,not in knowing you all suffer with this as well ,but it's the fact that there's another reason for my forgetfulness. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for all your replies, but also will mention it to the doctor as well. I had a MRI scan on Mother's Day,Boy! Was that a tough, the song by Robbie Williams came on through the earphones "she the one",and I couldn't help the tears running down my cheeks when I thought off my precious mum. But in another way  imagined her staying, Now "come on Mary, you been waiting for a MRI scan for years"don't mess this up"your not meant to be moving so stop that sobbing Bless! her! I miss her so much.  love to to everyone
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  • Posted

    I've been getting worse with my short term memory it's ridiculous, I now have to write most things down so to remember appointment etc, also day to day things are becoming a problem, is this another symptom of fabriomyialgia. I'm only 48 so don't think it's my age yet?
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    • Posted

      It's Fibro,...BUT don't feel it's forever... You can have bouts of it.. (periods of time) where you maybe worse than usual normal memory  brain fog..  

      YES Do keep righting your notes to remind yourself of 'what to do and appointments etc'... it will help you to even relax mentally to safeguard yourself and it will take stress away, worrying about forgetting things.  You will begin to realise after awhile that your remembering most things again as long as your overloading your brain, and reinforcing what you need to remember by writting it dow, having the notes handy visually.

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  • Posted

    Awwwww thank you, the more I think about it, it does come and just sometimes embarrassing, but I mark a lot of things down now! Thank you
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  • Posted

    Hi Mary

    really sorry for the loss of your mother.  Fibro fog used to have me in tears but now with the help of my work colleagues we manage to laugh about it. The first time it was evident was when I walked home one day and walked straight past my own road and turned down the next one and went to walk up the path of what I thought was my house and got the surprise of my life - who had moved my house - it was very upsetting at the time. Now I laugh about it. It can be embarrassing at times but if I forget something or use the wrong word with strangers I think to myself  well don't worry if they think you are totally bonkers you are never going to meet them again so what does it matter.    Some days I am crystal clear but others not but we have to take what fibro throws at us and carry on. You are not alone. Take care.

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