menopausal marriage wrecker

Posted , 12 users are following.

hi ladies you have all helped me out in one way or another since i hit this crap in jan but for the last few months my moods have been fowl iam constantly screaming and shouting at my husband and this resorted in him constantly going out after work so then my head was telling me he was up to no good so i got really nasty with my comments to him, well to cut a very long upsetting weekend story short he said he no longer knew who i was and wanted to leave me,we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks time, i begged,pleaded,and sobbed and after he went to see his mum for a few hrs came back like nothing had happened ( dont know what she said to him) but how can i stop being so nasty i cant take hrt and dont want anti depressants the past few days have been fantastic but i cant afford to let things slip back to meno madness we have been together for 27 years and have never had problems in our relationship until i hit the bloody menopause hes my best friend and menopause has kicked my ass big style, i cant kick his for no reason any ideas would be grateful or if you have been there yourself. big hugs to all xx

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Claire,

    Is there a reason why you were told you can't take hrt? Not even bio identical ?

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  • Posted

    I was like this for awhile, things have calmed down now though. I think lack of progesterone leaves us with too much estrogen and that can make you angry. Progesterone is calming.

    Best you can do is just try and explain to your husband why you get so crazed. Likely his mom told him too.

    I know what its like, I would scream and get myself so worked up I'd be dry heaving in the toilet. This didnt help the gastritis I had going on at the time. This was all the beginning of it for me. Three years later I am still sick but my emotions are calmer, sometimes irritated easily but no more of the complete rage.

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry, and completely sympathize. I have been through that phase (it was horrendous) and sometimes it still rears its ugly head. One thing to do is once you get a healthy number of replies show him your post and this thread? It sounds like you have a healthy enough foundation to get through this. 😃

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  • Posted

    last year my marriage almost ended in a divorce it was so bad and he didn't do anything it was all me this stage of life is a very sick cruel curse. ive gotten better with my outburst and lashing out at him and everyone else around me but it takes alot of restraint. i have gotten to where i just say im in a mood give me alittle space and walk off. once i can get it under control a bit then things is ok i still have my moments where that dont work and he just says i can deal with eveey once in awhile instead of constantly coming at me. its hard on us and them they cant understand what happened yo us let alone us not understanding. hugs to you hang in there.

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  • Posted

    Yes I get like this and I do my best to control it.. I at times get out of hand with the kids so then I have to take a step back, breathe and continue calmly-- I don't want them to think their mother is a maniac. With my spouse it's so difficult-- he is very anxious and acts like my third child which I resent. My patience is very thin after 20 years. He's your best friend and you would be devastated to lose him--- just do your best and if you feel like your getting out of control, go to a different room or even a walk.. Then come back to apologize and talk. There has been a few times that I was out of line with the kids and I did that them know that I was sorry.

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    • Posted

      i understand my hubby is looked after like my kids there now 21 and 23 and none of them do anything unless screamed at but thats my doing for doing everything for them and letting them all get away with so little over the years pmsl , just need to learn to walk away and smile after all its not there fault the menopause makes us head cases xx

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    • Posted

      I have bad anger managment the last year,, If something makes me mad,, I get more and more worked up and explode like a bomb I also have hashimotos so that messes with your emotions also so I am doing exactly the same thing...I try so hard to walk away and I do then I walk back its like I am insane been going thru peri for about 5 years and this is my new horrible symptoms so thank for all support trying to calm myself... good luck and hugs to you Kelly!!!! Im going to try Bachs and get a trailor!!! ❤❤❤

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  • Posted

    I went through that with my marriage as well. 3 years! I bought myself a tiny camper so that when I got really moody I could just hook up and take off...and I did, quite a lot...lol! visited family, stayed in driveways, camped.

    Bach's remedies really helped me crawl back out of the darkness. They were a lifesaver for me. there are 38 different ones...and they heal emotions...they actually turn all that negative self talk into positive. And they not only saved my marriage, but also saved me from taking my own life. These days life is good. I still have period symptoms, but they don't control me anymore. they just ride in the background. try Bachs. you can find them on google

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  • Posted

    Hi Claire,fair enough you don't want to take Hrt but don't completely exclude antidepressants-even if you only try a low dose of something.i've been on Citalopram and it really helps.After 20 years of marriage it would be really sad to let the menopause ruin something so special.I often feel like a mad cow or completely changed by the menopause but I try to explain my feelings to mypoor suffering husband .I refuse to let it destroy my family's lives aswell.Apart from helping with the hot flushes i'm not that convinced by HRT as I still feel very lethargic.good luck -hope you find something that works for you.

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